Warning to all poopers out there.....

midwest_rep2

Active member
Well going along with the poop threads, there is a dangerous type of spyder that lives in the toilet bowls of outhouses and bathrooms in kind of backwoods places. I think it has been found in restaurants and shit too. Anyway, this little guy crawls up into your asshole while you are releasing the big brown weapons of mass destruction and bites you, releasing a venom that will kill you or at the very best put you in the hospital for a few weeks. So, always rememer when in the backcountry to bang around the inside of the toilet bowl with a stick to flush out these little buggers. just a word of warning

`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`

'haha he told his parents ahbout his ginormous cock.... what a fag' - linemaverick540
 
thanx for the warning, keep up the good work

'hey can i have a butload of cash?... NO'

Johnny d in the cribs segment of 1242

 
if you look closely you can see the spider....

452aea3c12d8c319ad4c484fd7fd5fe4.jpg'


Taste Death. Live Life.
 
and there is seriously a spider there...just to the right out of the water.

Taste Death. Live Life.
 
Hahaha that's gnarly

-Sarah

Sharkbait

''Skiing's unique from other sports. I think the biggest thing that I like most about it is that you're doin' it for yourself... You're not out on a team, you know. You can add your own style to any aspect of it, and you can ski things how you want... You can move at your own pace... And, you just, you have a lot of time sort of to yourself to be skiin', and that's... That's a lot of fun.''

-CR Johnson
 
According to an article by Dr. Beverly Clark, in the Journal of the United Medical Association (JUMA), the mystery behind a recent spate of deaths has been solved.

If you haven't already heard about it in the news, here is what happened. 3 women in Chicago, turned up at hospitals over a 5 day period, all with the same symptoms. Fever, chills, and vomiting, followed by muscular collapse, paralysis, and finally, death. There were no outward signs of trauma. Autopsy results showed toxicity in the blood.

These women did not know each other, and seemed to have nothing in common. It was discovered, however, that they had all visited the same restaurant (Big Chappies, at Blare Airport), within days of their deaths.

The health department descended on the restaurant, shutting it down. The food, water, and air conditioning were all inspected and tested, to no avail.

The big break came when a waitress at the restaurant was rushed to the hospital with similar symptoms. She told doctors that she had been on vacation, and had only went to the restaurant to pick up her check. She did not eat or drink while she was there, but had used the restroom.

That is when one toxicologist, remembering an article he had read, drove out to the restaurant, went into the restroom, and lifted the toilet seat. Under the seat, out of normal view, was small spider.

The spider was captured and brought back to the lab, where it was determined to be the South American Blush Spider (arachnius gluteus), so named because of its reddened flesh color. This spider's venom is extremely toxic, but can take several days to take effect. They live in cold, dark, damp, climates, and toilet rims provide just the right atmosphere.

Several days later a lawyer from Los Angeles showed up at a hospital emergency room. Before his death, he told the doctor, that he had been away on business, had taken a flight from New York, changing planes in Chicago, before returning home. He did not visit Big Chappies while there. He did, as did all of the other victims, have what was determined to be a puncture wound, on his right buttock.

Investigators discovered that the flight he was on had originated in South America. The Civilian Aeronautics Board (CAB) ordered an immediate inspection of the toilets of all flights from South America, and discovered the Blush spider's nests on 4 different planes!

It is now beleived that these spiders can be anywhere in the country. So please, before you use a public toilet, lift the seat to check for spiders. It can save your life!

-Pat

 
i think i saw on the discovery channel that blackwidow spiders do the same thing with the toilets, and then bite people when they take a shit.

-Thom Savery
 
i love that- worning to all poopers out there... isnt that.... just about.... everyone?

______________________________________________________________________________

Sure animals are great, but any person associated with PETA can die on the spot for all I care. Fucking demon people. ALL OF THEM.

thisangelicrage

 
Man, after reading this I get all emotional when I take a shit now.

I have a theory that all retards have one long tendon that goes from wrist to wrist, so therefore that is why they always are screwin around with one wrist up, and the other one down.

 
after my injurt and my changed diet i shit almost 3 times a day..oh shit

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'You can't argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.'
 
I'll tell ya what, green beer does a number on your digestive system.

I have a theory that all retards have one long tendon that goes from wrist to wrist, so therefore that is why they always are screwin around with one wrist up, and the other one down.

 
At first I was wondering why I was shitting green poop, for a second I thought that I was smoking too much weed or something, then I remembered that I drank a lot of green beer the other night.

I have a theory that all retards have one long tendon that goes from wrist to wrist, so therefore that is why they always are screwin around with one wrist up, and the other one down.

 
damn dude, now i say a quick hail mary every time im about to take a shit.

if people dont like what ive created, fuck em, because somebody else does-TANNER

can you see what's down there? me either.-seth peering down a cliff before he drops it

ns army, whatever is right below the general

I go either way-elasmoskichick

 
Did some picture get deleted from this thread? Because I don't see any poop.

******************

Hummingbird style: 70 times in one second.

Does Crichton smoke? Does a bear shit in the woods? -Rex
 
well they wouldnt let me eat for almost a week...then i was solely on liquids and jello's and such...then i could finally eat and ive been eating so much food its insane..i lost over 10 lbs in the hospital and i gained it all back already

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'You can't argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.'
 
I'm more afraid of ghoulies

----------------------

'Dude, check out this nasty gouge.'

'Your mom has a nasty gouge.'

'I just defragmented all my viruses so they run faster.'
 
im afraid about going to camp, i thouhgt the crapper was one of the safest places in the world.

*$*Carny*$*

Message me if you want to be part of the 'Snowboarder Cult'
 
i know, the shitter is a sanctuary for me. now i'm scared of it. and i gotta go right now.

ah well, face your fears, right? i'll just drop the S-bomb on them damn spiders. game over for the crawly beeatches.

___________________

- Ian

That's Mr. Bangor to you!

~~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~~

 
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