"Unofficial official worst ski injury thread"

My heart hurts because I'll never be able to marry Scarlett Johansson. Suck it up.
 
Injured my skis yesterday.. Like a whole square inch worth of top sheet just clipped away. I'd like to see you top that!
 
My friend came up way short on mainstreet at keystone, broke a few bones in his leg, was in a wheelchair for a few months /claim
 
concussion and then bleeding in my brain.... 24hrs of my life i have no recollection of. Then a week stay in a hospital
 
Ripped my ear off on a tree. Got my ears pierced like 16 times to stitch it back on....no numbing either.

Flew off a whale that had the backside cut out by a cat....dropped like 20+ feet to rock/ice at full speed. Broken arm.

Bit through my tongue. That sucked.
 
broke my thumb on gaper day...its a stupid story but my friends and i decided to go gaper for the day and i had these wicked long poles...so i went off a jump with them and pole planted at the end and it ended up twisting my thumb and it broke...lol
 
I dropped off a 1000 foot cliff at full speed. I landed hard on protruding rocks. My head imploded on impact as my ski pole stabbed through my heart and shattered inside of me. My goggles shattered into my eyes causing me to go blind. My spleen erupted. I got ebola. My ski boot crunched my foot until it flopped around like a rubber chicken. My teeth were crushed into a powder as I choked on each one of them individually. 4 MONTHS I waited living off of my remaining senses, since i was deaf as a result of the sound of the impact and the goggle glass in my eyes. I lived off drinking snow and eating the shreds of what used to be my Orage B-Dog. Finally, I was found by a pack of wolves. They took care of me for 10 years and healed my wounds with their wolf-magic. It was the most traumatic experience of my life.
 
My uncle was at Killington (i think) in the 80s skiing backcountry and ended up almost cutting his balls off. His straight ski snap and went directly into his dick. He was going at a pretty high speed and fell into the broken ski so it pretty much neutered him. Luckily he was able to get his balls sewn back on. Probably wasn't too fun.
 
12736849:Shredsterr said:
My hips bruised from landing on it repeatedly. I dare you to get gnarlier than that.
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my hips have bled before from falling on rails

jacamarcus is jacamomma
 
13227244:.Dinosaur. said:
I dropped off a 1000 foot cliff at full speed. I landed hard on protruding rocks. My head imploded on impact as my ski pole stabbed through my heart and shattered inside of me. My goggles shattered into my eyes causing me to go blind. My spleen erupted. I got ebola. My ski boot crunched my foot until it flopped around like a rubber chicken. My teeth were crushed into a powder as I choked on each one of them individually. 4 MONTHS I waited living off of my remaining senses, since i was deaf as a result of the sound of the impact and the goggle glass in my eyes. I lived off drinking snow and eating the shreds of what used to be my Orage B-Dog. Finally, I was found by a pack of wolves. They took care of me for 10 years and healed my wounds with their wolf-magic. It was the most traumatic experience of my life.
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I got a bruise once. Beat that.
 
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