True Story: I Shit On a Car

DancingToast

DancingToast

Member
it was a foggy night in seattle.... me and three other friends were out by the local safeway and i had eaten Ling Ling potstickers earlier, and i had to shit for sure. i was prairie dogging (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=PRAIRIE+DOGGING) and i needed to put an end to this. i thought why not better than to shit on a parked car in the middle of the fucking street at 12pm... after i thought this abomination of an act over, i told my friends what is going down. the car that i chose to do it on happened to be my favorite car, an 05' gti. i got on the curb and laid out a fat shit, it was a clean get-away (not messy). my friend elliot thought smearing it everywhere would be funny and he happened to use a foam Kony 12' sign that was planted in the ground maybe 10 feet away. he smeared that shit like peanut butter. we heard a creaking door and a "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING" which soon followed with a "OH FUCK, LETS RUN LIKE FUCK". so we ran like no other, and made it home safely. we ended the epic night with 'The Big Lebowski" , my favorite movie. so please... shit on as many cars as possible, there is no other adrenaline rush like it. and always bring toilet paper, a mistake i learned from. and if you had an attention span to read this far, let me know so i can thank you for not being retarded.

cheers
 
although I know there is gonna be a "someone shit on my car" thread... would be epic if it was real though
 
mcdonalds_ghetto_car.jpg
 
It was a joke... And it was a house behind the queen anne Safeway, if you were curious in checking it out. Although the rain from today most-likely washed most of it off if the guy hasn't already...
 
pussy. you should've actually shat on the car instead of shitting on the ground and then smearing it on the car. my friend did this to some douche bags truck a while ago, i had pics but they were on my old phone and it died
 
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 
I did shit on the car, my friend just smeared it around, he never had to pick it up lol.

And all the hatred reading this:

Why would you even click on the thread if you knew you were just gonna be a dick?
 
this actually happened one time at umass back in like '05 guy i know got hammered, kicked out of a frat party, decided to shit on one of the frat boys cars, entire frat house come out to fight him, starts punching himself in the head, they all think he's nuts so they pussy out, head back inside, he wakes up the next morning with welts on his head wondering what the fuck exactly happened, i proceed to tell him having witnessed the entire thing.
 
to tell you that you are a fucking dickbag. I live in the seattle area as well and I ever see your ass shitting on my car I will kick the shit out of you. /rant
 
This. You're an asshole, and if you were gonna take a shit on a car why a gti? At least do it on some douchebags double parked car or riced out fartmobile
 
and his mother, father, and girlfriend. And pee in his girlfriends butt after. And find his gay friend who he has been seeing on the side, and poop on him too.
 
HEY. OP. FUCK YOU. I'm going to find you and shit on your face. Then after I am done pouring out almost all of my fecal matter onto your face, I am going to find your favorite sign and release the rest of my shit onto that. When that's done, I am going to use it to smear the feces all over your face you fucking asshole.
 
people like OP are why I have this in the house

1lbwildfirepistolgrip.jpg


do something fucked up like this on my property and your getting a face full of pepper spray, and then the cops are getting called, and im telling the cop "you walked towards me aggressively and menacingly", and because they hate assholes like you you are getting arrested, and I'm getting a high five.
 
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