Things you do while you shit

GANDALF

GANDALF

Active member
i usually play snake on my phone, text, or use my laptop. it always prolongs my shit though and i end up sittin for an excessive amount of time.
 
ive never taken my laptop with me when ive gone to shit lol.

but cool i guess

i normally just read
 
sometimes i'll have text sex with your mom, or her favorite thing is when i take a shit and then take a pic and send it to her. she loves it
 
I usually just rally that poop QUICKLY and get the fuck outta there.....kinda wierd that some people actually do time consuming things while deucing.
 
if i can tell its gonna be a while, i'll grab freeskier and read

otherwise, i'm in and out
 
when i'm taking a shit (preferably in someone else's toilet), i like to beat off thinking of my best friends eleventeen year old sister while texting his girlfriend to come out tonight so i can slip her a roofie to unconsciously fondle and take incriminating photos of her that i will use to extort her with later in life, all the while glancing at hustler images pasted on the walls. i enjoy not wiping my ass or washing my hands nor flushing and leaving a behemoth stinker for the next unsuspecting victim to walk into. sometimes i like to leave a little mud streak on the rim too, or urinate aimlessly. i'll usually leave the tap running with the sink clogged in the hopes of some major flood damage. if i ate recently, i will get my bulemia on and puke on the floor. bringing a shapie to deface the walls with is always fun too. if anyone interupts my pooping privacy, i will dunk them in the toilet of my still steaming shit, nuclear wedgy them, violate their anus with a pencil, and steal their wallet to engage in some credit card fraud and buy new tvs which i can trade to fuel my raging cocaine habit

ugh... rancid eh? where'd that come from? that was some crazy depravity... the tendency is to take a vile joke and turn run with it until it is moribund and unholy

no, i just like to read the newspaper if at home, or quick visit if away from home.
 
sometimes i bring my ipod or laptop, but usually i read magazines sitting there. anyone notice that anything is interesting when you're on the john? i find myself reading things i would never read in any other situation, but for some reason martha stewart living is captivating while taking a shit.
 
in my dorm there are tiles on the floor with white and purple squares, so i search to see if i can find patterns wit the purple ones. 
 
call my girlfriend haha. but deuces don't last long because i smoke cigarettes and if you smoke boogs, you know how it is. it makes it so its so easy to shit. when i quit for like a week, i got so constipated. its true and one of the few benefits of cigarette smoking, if you don't smoke, i recommend doing it on the john
 
One time I called my buddy to go ski with me, he was taking a shit, the conversation just got akward
 
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I utilize my time that I would normally do otherwise. Cut finger/toe nails, clean my ears, fold laundry (my dryer is right there), etc. Saves me a ton of time later on.
 
I listen to music cause my brother got me a shower radio for christmas one year so now when ever im in the bathroom i listen to music.
 
depends on the shit. Sometimes I'm in and out in like 30 seconds. Other times I'll play games on my phone. If I have my laptop I'll watch TV. I've eaten while pooping too.
 
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