Things the weird people in your dorm talk about...

The.Man

The.Man

Member
Sitting in my room right now, listening to the conversation I hear going on outside...

Five weird ass guys on my floor are discussing what it would be like if you died or passed out while jacking off / how it would happen / what would happen

And I'm all like

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What weird shit have you heard?

and to make it threadworthy

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Dude you hear some weird shit. My freshman year telling a couple of girls how they (the guys) enjoy sucking dick. Fat ones precisely.
 
Freshman year, I heard my suite-mate in the shower with his girlfriend when

Girl: "What the fuck? Are you pissing in the shower? That's gross."

Guy: "I'm currently washing your shit off my dick and you think me pissing in the shower is gross? Come on."

Me:
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They weren't kidding either. Found a day later this one freshman went missing. Wasn't surprised when foul play was suspected.

I guess that's what I get for going to a shitty school in the hood.
 
"If you're moving forwards, you're moving away from the dick coming into your butt"

Now they're talking about the dynamics of butt sex

"by moving forwards as the dick moves forwards you cancel out the reaction"

and now circle buttsex

these are live updates btw

I'm 90% they're out there demonstrating the thrusting dynamics with their hips.

And now the fat one is talking about how "sex is you penetrating and pushing forwards until it hits a point at which he or she moves forwards, which then moves forwards too until you withdraw." "

"Compression can theoretically be made then during insertion"

i can't deal with this shit

 
The other day "WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE PRETZELS EVERYWHERE" Next morning I open the door and the entire hallway for about 25 feet is littered with broken pretzels and broken glass is all over the stairs.. I still would like to know what happened
 
guy 1: "I know you dont sleep walk, why the fuck do I keep waking up with you in my bed"

guy 2: "You smell like my girlfriend, drunk me doesnt know better"

guy 1: "Fuck you"
 
i live at the end of the hall near a lounge room at the end, people will go in there to have private conversations like break ups. I hear a heated argument going on, when they eventually made and they started having sex on the couch out in the open...

some creeper on the top floor of another dorm was pointing his laser pointer outside of his dorm yelling "CHASE IT LIKE A CAT!" while point it on the ground in front of people.

everyone- "TATCHOSSSSSSS"

Girl walking down my hall -"He tried pulling the naked man on you?"

 
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