Things ridiculous ski shop customers say

Kulkea

Kulkea

New member
As a response to the thread about ski shop workers, I feel its my duty to turn the spotlight.

I worked ten seasons at ski shops, many of which was as a service manager in a city shop(which is more conducive to uninformed shoppers). I'll also preface by saying that any tech that sets a customers binding outside proper chart setting invites massive liability to themselves and their respective shop. I once had a customer break his leg on skis I mounted and he tried to sue. Fortunately I did my job correct and he signed off, so it was fruitless.

-"You can't mount these now? My family and I are headed to the airport now!"

Answer:Normally thats 48hr minimum, but if you come back in an hour with a 12 twelve pack, it'll get done.

--"Just crank the DINs to like 12"

-Answer: Nah brah, company policy(and law I think). I'll crank to your specs, but by all means death sentence your knees.

-"Center mount these for me, por favor"

- Response: You ride park, homeboy? or are these the skis you ride the whole mtn with?(guess which is usually the case)

Other dumb utterings:

"Can you not band my skis? It ruins the camber."

"Can you put a 3 degree edge on these(park skis)"

"Can you wax the top of the skis so it'll be protected?"

"Can you transfer these(15 yr old) rental bindings(from a hardware store sale) onto these(children's foam core) skis for a small adult?"

Please add in your stories and one liners. If you are a customer and need a favor, bribe with beer, pizza, cookies or have the family sing Christmas carols over the loudspeaker(which was awesome that one time). Oh, and cover your asses, shop techs!
 
Can you heat mold my liners? *Shows me old not heat moldable liners that smell terrible*

yeah get fucked. I am not stink bombing the shop m8
 
"can I have a discount?" as in extra discount when the customer knew it was already marked down ground my gears.

**This post was edited on Jul 24th 2018 at 7:06:17am
 
Q: Can you glue these skis back together? (Shows you a completely de-laminated ski from tip to binding)

A: All I can do is put epoxy, Bind them together, wait 2 days and hope for the best. I warn you its not going to work and It will cost you 75$.

* Comes back with the completely de-laminated ski a day after giving them back*

Q:You did it wrong

Q: Do these skis make me turn easier? The last pair were really hard to turn with.

A: Technique and skills have much more to do with turning than hardwear. I do promise that your new ones will feel different than your old ones.

Q: How long should my skis be?

A: Chin height.

Q:What should I buy?

A: What is your ability level?

Q: I can ski everything!

A: Low stiffness, groomed mountain ski it is.
 
13933613:freestyler540 said:
Q: Can you glue these skis back together? (Shows you a completely de-laminated ski from tip to binding)

A: All I can do is put epoxy, Bind them together, wait 2 days and hope for the best. I warn you its not going to work and It will cost you 75$.

* Comes back with the completely de-laminated ski a day after giving them back*

Q:You did it wrong
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Hahahahhaha this was me. Except I realized that it was a lost cause after it came off again and didn’t bitch about it. I just enjoyed the looks I got when ppl saw my top sheets flapping about in the wind. Shit looked trashy af.

Buttt when my car was broken into, after taking one look they didn’t bother stealing them. Thank god cause nothing’s better than old beater skis that you can ride over rocks on and not ever worry about
 
"my friend told me i need these skis points to phone he's the best skier, been doing it forever"

"im in a ski club, we're suppose to get a discount"

"i do black diamonds"

"can you put the base back on these old cross country skis i picked up from a garage sale?"

"what do you mean you cant mount them now?"

-answer "i have a full shop of work ahead of you right now"

"but ive spent a lot of money"

-answer "the other customers have as well"

"These skis are practically brand new only got them a few years ago"

-proceeds to show a pair of olins

"show me the warmest glove/jacket/hat/helmet/socks/pants"

OP is spot on. bring beer, pizza, cookies, donuts, redbull, etc.. and it'll be appreciated

dont act like a know it all or go looking up prices on your phone while talking to the salesperson
 
it is equally annoying to have someone at the shop question you when you know what you want. i have found with mounting you need to mark it with tape and clear instructions or some employee might decide you need the factory suggested mount rather then what you really want/need.

thankfully im too poor to actually buy something currently new or from a shop so i only deal with mounting once in awhile.

you would think people in the retail side would make a info print out with ski basics to help explain what realistic, rather then being tongue in cheek about being a douche to do your job. it's like when they are trying to sell you some parabolic skis lol like yea man i know that means sidecut and it's been around a long time. all smoke and mirrors, if you helped educate your customers you wouldn't have as many ignorant requests but the flip side is you also wouldn't be able to prey on that same ignorance to up sell a bunch of worthless crap.
 
"Where are the cheapest goggles?"

*Brings the customer a pair of Smith's for $19.99*

"No those are ugly I want the ones with colored lenses"

*Ok, that will be $200*

"Are there any ones with the colored lenses for $19.99?"

*No*
 
13933674:Knewnews said:
it is equally annoying to have someone at the shop question you when you know what you want. i have found with mounting you need to mark it with tape and clear instructions or some employee might decide you need the factory suggested mount rather then what you really want/need.

thankfully im too poor to actually buy something currently new or from a shop so i only deal with mounting once in awhile.

you would think people in the retail side would make a info print out with ski basics to help explain what realistic, rather then being tongue in cheek about being a douche to do your job. it's like when they are trying to sell you some parabolic skis lol like yea man i know that means sidecut and it's been around a long time. all smoke and mirrors, if you helped educate your customers you wouldn't have as many ignorant requests but the flip side is you also wouldn't be able to prey on that same ignorance to up sell a bunch of worthless crap.
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I like this discussion so bare in mind im just starting a conversation and not attacking.

All of your points come down to the shops youve dealt with. Any of the shops i walked into in whistler did not prey on me and were more than happy to help. They asked enough pointed questions to know what type of buyer i am. At that point they decided where to take it. That is a good sales person. When you have a busy shop and a customer comes in and interrupts to ask a question that could have been answered by just looking at the store and where they put stuff it can cause frustration in the employee. You'd be surprised how many people ski 5 times a year on that once a year ski trip and do not have a clue about ski technology. Instead of thinking they are being a douche talking about sidecut you could let them know (nicely) that youve been skiing for a while and have seen skiing evolve over time. dont just say "i know what sidecut is, its been around a long time". More than likely that salesperson will just stop helping you since you apparently know it all. Go with the conversation and lead it to what you are looking for instead.

When it comes to spelling out where to mount your skis etc... i find it best to always ask where they would want it. if their response is "what do you recommend" i would give them my opinion only AFTER asking where they ski, what trails do they ski, how they ski. For the east coast, someone who skis Stratton (big wide open not very challenging terrain) may opt for a more center mounted ski) while someone who skis Jay, tighter woods, steeper, challenging may opt for setting the binding back a bit to provide more float and quicker edge to edge with less tail drag. Knowing the local mountains is huge. You can rattle off trail names or start a conversation about the terrain and pick up quickly how they ski.

Preying on customers does not build trust with a customer and that customer will not be a loyal repeat customer. Let them know you know what you are talking about by the questions you ask, knowing the mountains in your area and recommending the correct equipment for their needs. If they are adamant about a specific ski I will most definitely cave and let them buy it. Everyone has to learn lessons sometimes and it has happened a few times that a customer will come back in and say "you know i should have listened to you about the length" or type of ski.
 
Shop "dudes" are the WORST. I usually have to go to a few shops until I figure out what shop will mount my skis. Usually takes about 3 or 4 times before they accept my skis to be mounted also.....new skis and boots 2 years ago and the bindings weren't up to standard I guess. Year after that the same bindings passed, but my boots with brand new soles didn't. Had my dad bring in my same setup and they mounted them no questions asked HAHAHA. This year I had a completely different setup with all new stuff and they told me "THOSE AREN'T THE BOOTS YOU RIDE" so they wouldn't mount my new setup for me. So had to go get my skis mounted by my friend about 2 hours away and miss work/a few days of skiing. If you don't buy your skis from that certain shop a good chance they will give you a hard time mounting them. So overall I would say i'm not a huge supporter of shops around me. To be honest I go to snowboard shops more than skiing ones....Sucks because I would really love to support the people who help run our sport. But, until they start loosening up policies and hire people that know about the freestyle part of skiing we will always have trouble getting stuff mounted.

P.S. if ya wanna high dim tell them your weigh way more than you actually do....I usually say i'm in the 200Lb+ club
 
Ski boots:

"Too tight"

"Bro, why don't they make ones with the rubber in the toe, these are the only ones I can ride"

"They're two sizes too big? Can't you put something in there to make it smaller?"

"I bought these last year, why can't I return them?"

"My feet started hurting so I stuff three different dr. Scholls in there."
 
13933695:860media* said:
P.S. if ya wanna high dim tell them your weigh way more than you actually do....I usually say i'm in the 200Lb+ club
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Sorry to hear your experience. Unfortunately your tactic of a higher din doesnt work as we read the higher of the two on the chart between height and weight..

adjusting dins is pretty simple if you know what you are doing.
 
This isn't the worst but the whole soccer mom coming in for a rental or purchase saying: I just ski "the blues" gets old.

I worked at a shop in an uppidity area in Connecticut where people had money so I normally didn't get the worst customers.
 
13933717:03gade said:
This isn't the worst but the whole soccer mom coming in for a rental or purchase saying: I just ski "the blues" gets old.

I worked at a shop in an uppidity area in Connecticut where people had money so I normally didn't get the worst customers.
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Ha, love when Dad chimes in: "I like to ski bumps!"
 
13933718:Kulkea said:
Ha, love when Dad chimes in: "I like to ski bumps!"
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Definitely. Also noone understands idemnification rules and complain when their boot is grounded to the base or have a binding from 1996. But that's typical. I'm glad you made this thread the stuff from the other one was absurd.
 
13933700:freeskibum82 said:
Sorry to hear your experience. Unfortunately your tactic of a higher din doesnt work as we read the higher of the two on the chart between height and weight..

adjusting dins is pretty simple if you know what you are doing.
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Yea a monkey could adjust din settings....but so can a shop. This "tactic" has been working just fine for years so preach what ya want!

**This post was edited on Jul 24th 2018 at 3:23:53pm
 
13933726:860media* said:
Yea a monkey could adjust din settings....but so can a shop. This "tactic" has been working just fine for years so preach what ya want!

**This post was edited on Jul 24th 2018 at 3:23:53pm
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Dude for all the anger you have you can just get a jig and mount shit yourself since you hate shops so much.
 
13933695:860media* said:
Shop "dudes" are the WORST. I usually have to go to a few shops until I figure out what shop will mount my skis. Usually takes about 3 or 4 times before they accept my skis to be mounted also.....new skis and boots 2 years ago and the bindings weren't up to standard I guess. Year after that the same bindings passed, but my boots with brand new soles didn't. Had my dad bring in my same setup and they mounted them no questions asked HAHAHA. This year I had a completely different setup with all new stuff and they told me "THOSE AREN'T THE BOOTS YOU RIDE" so they wouldn't mount my new setup for me. So had to go get my skis mounted by my friend about 2 hours away and miss work/a few days of skiing. If you don't buy your skis from that certain shop a good chance they will give you a hard time mounting them. So overall I would say i'm not a huge supporter of shops around me. To be honest I go to snowboard shops more than skiing ones....Sucks because I would really love to support the people who help run our sport. But, until they start loosening up policies and hire people that know about the freestyle part of skiing we will always have trouble getting stuff mounted.

P.S. if ya wanna high dim tell them your weigh way more than you actually do....I usually say i'm in the 200Lb+ club
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Sorry you've had such poor experiences. I only turned down mounts if the equipment was damaged or inappropriate(ex. kids binding on adult ski). Im not sure why a shop would care if the boots you gave them aren't the boots you'd actually be riding with. As long as you sign off on it, it doesn't matter to the shop, the are cleared of liability. I can't imagine a shop wouldn't mount skis that weren't purchased through them. Thats like $50 for 20+ minutes of labor and the guy mounting them prob makes $12-$15 an hour. Unless they don't have a competent tech or there's something else, that doesn't seem to make sense. That truly sucks if you're getting dogged though. Important point: loosening policies leads to lawsuits, that is the unfortunate truth. Also, as freeskibum82 pointed out, putting 200lbs would not change your DIN. Crank you're binding to whatever you want after you leave the shop.

Liability, Liability, Liability. Snowboards do not have indemnification parameters.

@pholtan picturing that and its hilarious
 
Arguing with shop workers about where and how to mount your skis is one thing, but if you can't adjust your dins by yourself you shouldn't be cranking them up in first place. Just my two cents
 
13933728:03gade said:
Dude for all the anger you have you can just get a jig and mount shit yourself since you hate shops so much.
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I use paper jigs these days, they're free! However, it is a bit nerve wracking.
 
Why does anyone complain about shops not setting your din how you want it? Just set it yourself. Literally the easiest possible thing to do.
 
'Discount?" The customer states to you holding brand new gear staring blankly through you, eyes black and dulled over, like a great white sharks eye during the heat of a hunt.

Ive been screamed at for not allowing a return of season old discounted gear that they bought, used all weekend and then didn't want them anymore
 
13933717:03gade said:
This isn't the worst but the whole soccer mom coming in for a rental or purchase saying: I just ski "the blues" gets old.

I worked at a shop in an uppidity area in Connecticut where people had money so I normally didn't get the worst customers.
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13933718:Kulkea said:
Ha, love when Dad chimes in: "I like to ski bumps!"
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i can't even figure out what complaint you would have about these..? people's contempt for gapers not knowing everything about the sport is mind blowing. skiing is a casual hobby at best for the vast majority of people
 
13933731:JohnnyDope said:
Arguing with shop workers about where and how to mount your skis is one thing, but if you can't adjust your dins by yourself you shouldn't be cranking them up in first place. Just my two cents
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Completely agreed. Yet if you ask them to crank the din IMO they should do it, only if you sign off on it though. its just part of the mounting process that I think could be changed. Call me an idiot, But sucks to grab skis outta the shop hit your first feature and have both of them pop off.

But, Yea Kulkea I have had trouble mounting my skis for years at multiple places around CT/VT. To beat it now I just grab a pair of old rental boots from my home mountain. They are way worse than mine, but they like them hahaha
 
13933740:SofaKingSick said:
i can't even figure out what complaint you would have about these..? people's contempt for gapers not knowing everything about the sport is mind blowing. skiing is a casual hobby at best for the vast majority of people
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I literally prefaced it by saying it wasn't the worst thing. It's fine, I'm not hating it's just funny cause it's so predictable and complete strangers have the exact same phrases they use.
 
13933742:03gade said:
I literally prefaced it by saying it wasn't the worst thing. It's fine, I'm not hating it's just funny cause it's so predictable and complete strangers have the exact same phrases they use.
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That was my point as well. Certainly no contempt or judgement, its just the common phrases being repeated always got a smile. Although, Dad usually likes the idea of skiing bumps more than the reality.
 
13933741:860media* said:
Completely agreed. Yet if you ask them to crank the din IMO they should do it, only if you sign off on it though. its just part of the mounting process that I think could be changed. Call me an idiot, But sucks to grab skis outta the shop hit your first feature and have both of them pop off.

But, Yea Kulkea I have had trouble mounting my skis for years at multiple places around CT/VT. To beat it now I just grab a pair of old rental boots from my home mountain. They are way worse than mine, but they like them hahaha
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what boots do you ride that they won't use to mount your skis?
 
*customer comes back to the service shop a couple of days after getting a full tune with completely rusted edges*

Why didn’t y’all put anti-rust treatment on my edges!!!!???

A: because there’s no such thing..... treat your gear better
 
Worked as a salesman for a year before I was put in the back shop as a tech the past 5 because I couldn't handle stupid customers bullshit hahah. Some of my favorites are

Entry level skis bindings and boots with a 60 flex then the customer claims they're a type 3 skier.

People who don't understand we can't mount 25 year old reichle boots because the soles are so worn down you can touch the liner

"i bought this wax from you guys and when I went riding I was hardly moving I want a refund"

*takes skis apart to see the dumbass just melted wax on the base and didn't scrap it

Parent"yeah even though he's 16 and his foot is a size 9 lets go with a 28.5 boot just in case he grows" 1 month later returns to the shop " my feet are killing me these boots don't fit right"

"Would you recommend I wear my timberland work boots snowboarding I already spent $500 on this board and binding setup and don't think I need snowboard specific boots"

The list goes on thanks for giving me a laugh and making me sign onto ns for the first time in years
 
Customer: Hey man can you fit my bindings to my boots *hands me wooden ski with leather bindings*

Me: nah dog I'm sorry I can't work on these they are not indemnified

Customer: Damn! These are my favorite skis ever what can you do?

Me: Honestly I'd just get new skis

Customer: Could I just get new bindings for these??

Me: Uhhh I mean you can

Customer: Awesome I want these *points to Jesters*

Me: *gets chewed out by boss*
 
Q: what skis should I buy

A: What skill set skier are you?

Q: you know what blues are?

A: yea

Customer: I can get down em, so very advanced

A: Here is a Soul 7
 
Excellent approach, OP. I've been in the trenches too.

Soory to all the distinctive, personal, and quirky replies that I couldn't read with glassy eyes but if you need a shop to adjust your din settings.. let the shop adjust your din settings.
 
honestly i haven't had problems with mounting and such like some of the people in this thread. the local shop i go to is super chilled out i say I want a -5 mount and they give me the -5 mount. When it comes to dins i just tell them I'll do it myself because it's something you all should be able to do.
 
13933761:EvanMeyer said:
Parent"yeah even though he's 16 and his foot is a size 9 lets go with a 28.5 boot just in case he grows" 1 month later returns to the shop " my feet are killing me these boots don't fit right"
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My parents did this to me, my boot size was exactly 24,5 and my father made me buy 25,5. Before that I used race boots that fitted quite well and changed them to reduce shin bang ( at that moment I didnt knew much what caused shin bang). Those boots gave me the same shin bang the other boots gave me.

Also the bootfitter was quite bad, I told him I was buying boots to reduce my shin bang, and he never told me that getting boots to big will make it worse, while it was quite obvious I didnt knew much.
 
"This place is soooo overpriced"

"Why can't you sell me these for lower price"

"Well on the internet there $5 cheaper"

Leading to

"Why did the local shop go out of business"
 
Brought my skis into a local shop to get mounted and they told me come back in 4 days. When I come back they tell me they can’t mount them because I cut a piece of edge off so they’re too dangerous to ride. Ended up bringing them home and mounting them on my kitchen floor with masking tape and a straight edge 1ft ruler in an hour. Save your money and just send it at home
 
"I feel like I should get a discount."

I once had a super high maintenance boot customer who had been in several times for adjustments and punches. He picks them up from an inner ankle punch, puts them on, and immediately tells me that they're still too tight. I tell him to go ski them, that he has a lot more space than before, and that I think they'll be great once he starts skiing. He skis them for the day, comes back in, and tells me that now they're too lose on his ankle. So with no further adjustments, the plastic being exactly the same, he went from saying that the boots were too tight on his ankle, to saying that they're too lose on his ankle. How the fuck am I supposed to work with that?
 
13933820:altasupport said:
"I feel like I should get a discount."

I once had a super high maintenance boot customer who had been in several times for adjustments and punches. He picks them up from an inner ankle punch, puts them on, and immediately tells me that they're still too tight. I tell him to go ski them, that he has a lot more space than before, and that I think they'll be great once he starts skiing. He skis them for the day, comes back in, and tells me that now they're too lose on his ankle. So with no further adjustments, the plastic being exactly the same, he went from saying that the boots were too tight on his ankle, to saying that they're too lose on his ankle. How the fuck am I supposed to work with that?
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call him a kook
 
Actually this one was truly the worst. A lady had purchased new skis with rossignol axial bindings. These bindings have the same toe piece as fks14s, so they allow the boot to twist out of the binding barrel-roll style. That's what they're designed to do, but sometimes they get stuck in that barrell roll position, and you have to use some force to push it back. The lady comes in, having just prereleased, with the toepiece in that barrell roll position.

I push it back in position, hand it back to her, and she goes "I'm gonna need you to do A LOT more than that." I was confused, and explained to her that it happens all the time, the binding is designed to do that to protect your knee. I explained that it can be easily pushed back into position, by her or a tech, and if she wants the ski to stay on better, she can change her skier type from type 2 to type 3, then we can adjust her DIN. She starts to argue that we sold her a disfunctional binding.

This is where it gets bad. I explained that theres nothing wrong with the binding. She demands to speak to a manager, who inevitably tells her the same thing. She continues to argue. We call the rossignol rep, put him on speaker, and have him explain that the binding is designed to do that, her knee may have been hurt if it hadn't. Still she continues to argue, threatening to sue us and calling us all kinds of names. Finally, the owner, who happened to be in that day, talks to her, again explaining that the binding is functioning exactly right. She won't shut up, and at this point there are several other customers who are not being helped because the entire shop is arguing with this idiot. The owner caves and gives her a pair of Salomon z12s, our cheapest and by far shittiest binding, I mount them, and get her out of there. She insisted not to change her DIN, and went home with a significantly worse binding than the one she started with. All because she thought a binding broke when it did exactly what it was supposed to do. She ignored a ski tech, a manager, a company rep, and the owner of a ski shops advice about how the product is designed to work, just because she was mad about falling and wanted something free. I still get angry thinking about that dumbass bitch.
 
Or when people come back with rentals that they ripped an edge out of.

"How do you know it wasn't like that when I picked them up? I didn't do anything that should have damaged them."

Bro I literally showed you the bases and edges, and you signed a waiver saying the ski was in adequate condition and that you were liable for damage.
 
Q: can I get a pair of trick skis?

*proceeds to point towards the snowblades*

Customer: I’ve skied fernie/sunshine/Louise/kicking horse etc. I’m a level 3!

Me: ok, what size of skis would you like?

Customer: No clue, it’s your job to know that!

*little kid walking into rental shop with skis still on his feet*

Q: can I get some of those stick things

*proceeds to make a sweeping motion with arms*

Customer: Yeah this hill is pretty lame, nothing like whistlers back country stuff

Me: Sir you needed help putting your rental ski boots on and asked for shorter skis so it’s easier to control.

Customer: hey I need a snowboard please.

Me: um....those are ski boots.

Customer: oh oops, sorry first time.

Me: your taking lessons right?

Customer: no, it looks easy enough I’m just gonna wing it

Me: *ensure they signed all the waivers*

Customer: I forgot my pair of goggles at home what do you have here?

Me: we carry Scott goggles, these are $75

Customer: do you have anything cheaper?

Me: Yes, these sunglasses are on sale for $15.

Customer: well I want goggles!

Me: well your total is $75.

Customer: These are too f***ing expensive

Me: *thinks about the $200 pair of ANON’s I just bought last month and laughs in my head at his frustration*

Customer: *comes in with a pair of 220 straight skis and 30 yr old boots* can you fit these boots to my skis?

Me: *inspects boots and skis* sir first off these aren’t safe anymore the plastic is weathered and this style of boot is not very safe as it is so old, also your bindings aren’t on rails and therefore can’t be fitted to these boots.

Customer: what do you mean? These are safe I’ve barely used them!! Been sitting in my shed for the past 25 years.

**This post was edited on Jul 25th 2018 at 12:39:17am

**This post was edited on Jul 25th 2018 at 12:41:01am
 
*customer incoming with online bought gear*

Can you mount them?

Yes but thats 50€

What? Why so much???

You can ship them to your online shop and ask them...

Can i ski like dollo with that ski?

12 year old skinny kids 150cm tall:

What is your preferred ski width?

Id say smthn around 100/105

you ski offpiste too?

No Park only!

I guess you are a very good skier than?

yeah i can do a 360 and now iam learning railslide to switch!

so i would say take a thinner one than thats easier to handle.

Why?

and i guess everyone knows the rest of the convo.

You sell trackpants too?

Fuckouttamystore
 
13933825:altasupport said:
A lady had purchased new skis with rossignol axial bindings. These bindings have the same toe piece as fks14s, so they allow the boot to twist out of the binding barrel-roll style. That's what they're designed to do, but sometimes they get stuck in that barrell roll position, and you have to use some force to push it back. The lady comes in, having just prereleased, with the toepiece in that barrell roll position.
Click to expand...

the test procedures for bindings fail this exact scenario. If the binding does not return to center if fails the tests.
 
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