Translation:
Tanner and the douche douches were at the douche resort in Panama last week for a douche douche-away that included doucheboarding, doucheskiing, douchebiking on the beach, and of course beach football. Faggot was starting a Panama tour and I guess douched around at the same resort Thursday night. The douches got a change to meet Faggot (which explains the shirtless dickheads you see pictured).
These are just the worst type of people.