Attention Newschoolers of Stevens Pass,
Certain studies have shown that more and more newschoolers are leaving the park to brave the great unknowns of places such as "the backside". This is a terrible change, how will you throw steezy pretzels on the backside? You cant! If you do, it will probably start an avalanche. Please, for the sake of your steeze stay in the park! Never leave the park, even on tuesdays.
Thanks,
-Management~