Soulja Boy

connoroh

connoroh

Active member
So. my friend wrote an essay-like review about soulja boy. its a rant-ish thing. 

I just watched the whole "Crank Dat" music video by Soulja Boy. I am left confused, disappointed, and most of all, angry. I'm angry because, first off, this guy is making money, second, I couldn't understand a single word he said, three, the fucking vacuous lyrics that go along with this "song" (which consists of some typical rap beat and some synthesized steel drums).

I know this is, and has been thrown around for years, but I still can't help to ask "Why is this guy famous?". This often happens whenever a new surprisingly bad song comes out, but seriously, this guy is 17 years old. Me and soulja boy are the same age and because of this song he probably has enough money to legally have me killed for no reason. I know money and age don't really have much of a correlation in the entertainment industry, but this is just mind boggling.

This music video is distressingly bad. It plainly consists of various kids doing the whole "crank dat" dance, Soulja Boy with his glasses that read the same, doing this same dance, and some other shit. One other thing that pisses me off is the raw pretentiousness of this talentless teenager; I mean, sunglasses with your name on them? Come on.

Out of all the shitty fad dance routines I've seen, this one really tops the list as the worst. From the beginning of the video til the gruesome end, we see every "actor" flailing their arms and doing that whole "superman" bit, endlessly.

I know this little rant is poorly constructed, worded, formatted and everything, but bare with me for the rest.

I took a look at Soulja Boy's (god help us all)..Album. The album, (souljaboytellem.com) consists of titles that just made me stare blankly at my computer screen, giving this whole structure of stupidity a few seconds to drill itself into my head.

I swear to god, Soula boy actually has songs called "Yahh" and "Donk!". Get this, he has "Soulja Girl".

I couldn't let these ones go unmentioned:

I Got Me Some Bapes

Booty Meat

Report Card

Nope

I was very inclined to search up the lyrics for songs such as "Booty Meat", or "Donk!" but that would stretch this little blurb of text to a hate-filled novella.

Do I need to keep reminding people that this is just my stupid opinion? Go around the world and find every teenage "Genesis" or "King Crimson" fan and you're bound to get the same answer, so don't assume I'm trying to intentionally single myself out.

The lyrics are just confusing. Soulja Boy keeps the train of (Intentionally?) awful grammar to make the song memorable.

The song primarily consists of -

"Soulja Boy up in it (OH!)

Watch Me Crank It

Watch Me Roll

Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy,

that Super Man Dat (OH!)"

He repeats that (the chorus) a good 4 or 5 times. Anyway I've picked out some lines that I just can't wrap my head around. Am I just like really nerdy and stereotypically white? Probably. Is that why I can't understand it? Or is because I actually speak English?

"Then Watch Me Crank Dat Robocop

Super Fresh, Now Watch Me Jock

Jocking On Them Haterz Man

When I Do Dat Soulja Boy"

Now, here is the best one I found:

I'm Jocking On Yo Bitch Ass

And If We Get The Fightin

Then I'm Cocking On Your Bitch

....he seriously uses the term "Bitch Ass", and look.. "Then I'm cocking on your bitch."...........Cocking on your bitch?

Cocking on your bitch.

I hate to keep "beating the dead horse", considering this has been said a billion times, but I just feel I have to hit a billion and one. The lack of intellect in media is just astounding. You know just because you make rap, doesn't mean you HAVE to make completely inane self-preening bullshit. This rant of mine is not putting down rap by any means, I can respect it, just there is so much more bullshit rap than respectable.

This theory doesn't stand with rap alone, any genre of music that has lasted this long really.

Must music change as time goes on? Why can't we hear some stuff like King Crimson or Harmonium (the list goes on). Music that breaks the walls of the norm. Music that you WANT to listen to, music that makes you think. Not music that you just blare at parties when you're completely tanked and everyone dances to (some jokingly of course). Please don't take this as a "My music is better than yours" speech, it isn't.

To the (I'm guessing zero) who read this, thanks for your time, all I wanted to stress is break your musical horizon and go beyond this mainstream stuff. Sure music is opinionated, but there IS better music out there, I guarantee it.

P.S. Turns out I DID look up the lyrics from "Donk".

Here.

[Chorus:]

She Got A Donk

She Got A Donk

She Got A Donk

She Got A Donk [Faster]

She Got A Donk

She Got A Donk

She Got A Donk

She Got A Donk

She Got A Donk

She Got A Donk

She Got A Donk

She Got A Donk

Shake Some Wit It

Shake Some Wit It

Shake Some Wit It

Shake Some Wit It

Shake Some Wit It

Shake Some Wit It

Wow,Wow,Wow,Wow,Wow,Wow,Wow!

 
not only was that a complete waste of time, it wasn't even very well done.  it's a song. people like it. it's catchy. and it has a dance that looks sick when the whole Texas football team does it.
 
i completely disagree with both of you. his rant isn't amazing, i didn't say it was, but it sums up all of my feelings completly about soulja boy. 
 
zomg i lizten to rush and ware spandex.

haha no jk that was a decent rant even though i dont mind soulja boy, hes funny to me.
 
i totally agree with ur friend. I fuckn hate soulja boy so fuckn much, he is the shittest rapper alive, he has absolutely no skill at all and is a skinny ass bitch. I cant believe anyone likes that song. worst song ever
 
well there is always that one pissed off guy who hates certain things and feels obliged to tell the world and all because no one hugged him as a child. what we at ns need to do is pool our money so he can go discuss his issues with soulja boy.

yeah right. its a ns message board there are way stranger threads on here

example: Subject: The Number 3 In My Life
 
Ha! I was saying pretty much the exact same shit yesterday to a friend with no knowledget that this had become a topic of discussion on Newschoolers.

And yeah, you went pretty deep on blasting the song, but in reality, you were blasting the 'voice' behind it.

I personally think its the most retarded thing ever. The video starts out with two young kids doing souljaboy dance in front of their dad, who has ZERO clue what they are doing. then they go "you've never heard of souljar boy?!"

From here on, I was like OHHH GOD SAVE ME.

The rest of the video had NOTHING to do with how it started for one... which is SOMETIMES typical of other artist's music videos. Thing is, those artists ussually suck MAJOR WANG.

I had to turn the thing off after hearing "dat soulja boy" for the 20th time... which was about 2 minutes into the bloody song.

Yeah, I wouldnt call what he does "music" more like Tribal Pagan dancing and language invention to me...

 
are you kidding, soulja boy is an amzing lyrcist, here is some of his finest work about bape shoes

"a lil ape walkin round rockin more colors the a bag bag ah skittles! "

 
i like the song, its catchy and i love to crank dat. hahaha but seriously get a life, its a song quit crying. plus the girls love guys who can dance to this shit.
 
Are you a female? Seriously... thats the other thing about this song... i see about a thousand videos on youtube of ultimate white girls doing soulja boy like retards.

If you actually think a girl is impressed by your 'crank that' ability, then I seriously pity you.

God what a waste of my life hearing that song.
 
um okay? no reason to cry. if i don't like i song i dont say it's a waste of my life so quit complaining. actually it is part of our soccer warm up to crank dat, and just so you know half of our team is black. so its not white girls that like it. and girls are impressed by guys that can dance, this is a thing played at parties, thus i dance to it and yes it does get me pussy so stfu n00b!!!
 
the other day we had like a BBQ party at school for all the kids who sold all the BBQ tickets and they played crank dat and this nerdy black kid starts doing that dance. it was hilarious and then like 20 other black kids join in. I thought there was a fight for a second considering the circumstances but it was hilarious. I talked to the kid on the bus lot and he said his friend is gonna upload it to youtube. ill post it in this thread when its up.
 
these no talent pricks keep gettin worse and worse it seems....its been chamillionaire, then deec is why i'm hot, now souja boy.

i think these no talent ass clowns come from bets by record executives for like a dollar between two record labels. Then whichever one of their signed dudes sells more records that record executive wins the dollar and bragging rights for mass distributing the shittiest music known to man and laughs at all the sucker kids who buy into the media and advertising .Then enjoys how his pockets keep getting fatter while my ears keep bleeding and wana-be black white kids running around bumping this shit till no end, well at least till the next wack artist comes out with some shitty repetitive hook that musically illiterate kids just soak up like MTV sponges
 
you should be proud of yourself fo being the first person ever to put my (and everyone's) hate for "soulja boy" into words. peace, and god bless
 
Oh yes, boo hoo. i'm so sad. wtf?

Ussually, if i hear a shitty song, it is a waste of lifespan. Many other people in this thread have attributed to that finding.

OH, and Thats not dancing dude... thats bouncing up and down and looking like an idiot. I also dont know what black guys you have on your team, but I know that here around where I live, the black guys I know think the song is one repetitive ass piece of untalented shite. I've been more impressed by 3 year old ballet children falling on their arse.Then again, i'm not a girl, nor would i be impressed by someone doing crank dat, if I were.

And if that gets you pussy, then.... wow...

 
I don't think it matters who you are to realize that making rap takes no skill. A synth and some made up words with a couple real words tossed in.

I think rap willn out to be like disco. Everybody (those of us who haven't all ready) will realize how crappy the music is, no matter how catchy it is and think how the hell they listened to the shit.
 
bahahahahaaha i never realized there was so much ghey hype around the dance that takes next to no skill to learn all u gota have is rhythem sense which half of the people don't anyways

u wana see dance moves u might as well learn from the best like david elsewhere cuz thats the realness
 
ive been saying pretty much everything he said since i first heard that song. that song makes me want to fucking flip!
 
great rant

horrible song

i agree, it needs to die. it never should have started. this is the worst of the worst. "donk!" sounds like it could be the end of music. period. i mean, i had previous hate for "this is why im hot" and before that, "yeah" but usher. now i realize those were the fucking white album compared to this.
 
I'm sorry to be the one to inform you, but our generation has pissed all over a musical culture that consists of something other than a beat with a black guy using english (on a retarded level) about "Bitches, Hoes, Drugs, Money, Fucking Bitches and Hoes and Bape". I'm afraid there is no hope for us all.
 
thats not gangster rap. NWA is gangster rap. the stuff to come out of the early 90's is. this is "snap" music. look it up.
 
That song sucks, its the same thing over and over, as with,sadly, almost all rap today. I have to stop listening to it after a minute or so because the background, and the lyrics, are so repetative, i can't stand it.
 
Even rapper Smoke of southern group Field Mob said, when asked if he thought hip hop was dead, "Hell yeah, hip-hop is dead...I'mma tell you who killed hip-hop... D4L and Dem Franchize Boyz...Hip-hop is wordplay, saying something, metaphors. I love Hip-Hop. I fell in love with Mobb Deep [and] Nas -- these are the people that influenced me." He then went on to praise UGK as well as 8Ball & MJG and then closed by saying, "The old south is Hip-Hop, the new south...naaahh!" [2]
 
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