13322335:crotchvent said:
I mean this as a compliment not some super creepy thing. If all these stories you tell on here are true you should right a book on your life and even if they aren't maybe just right a fiction story based on your stories.
I've thought about it. And yeah a lot of stuff is true. Not everything I say is real but a lot of the stories are. And honestly a lot of more ridiculous ones that will never make the internet.
The above story is about "The sketchy tribe of wooks". Actually one free tickets to a festival with it. Walking around looking for anywone heading to arkansas, The sketchy wook tribe seemed like my ticket there. We were rolling 3 or 4 people deep on the mid bench seat on a jeep. The back was full of all the coolers they had pirated. When we hit bumped we tried to jump to keep the suspension from bottoming out. When we got to st louis, we realized we needed to shed weight. They started taking things out of coolers and throwing it in this parking garage. A food fight where the only victim was this poor concrete wallnow covered in about 40 different kinds of food.
Another highlight around that time was finding out that all 4 or 5 of them had scabies. The casual manner to which that was brought to my attention deserved a laugh if it wasn't such an "oh fuck" moment at the time. The fact that this was a heat wave in early june, almost riding on top of each other was a concern. At one hotel we stayed at they managed to clog the toilet and the tub. The tub had a weird green color to the liquid that I could not identify, I chose to go for a swim instead.
I'll skip the backpack since I mentioned it already.
So we get to wakarusa in arkansas. None of us had tickets. We found the line of cars waiting to get in and a line for tickets. We turned around and went down a closed road, past several cops, none of whom stopped us and arrive at the festival entrance. We had successfully cut of about 3 hours worth of festival goers. Now the gate. They say "wristbands" to which we all raise a wrist and shake it a bit, which surprisingly seemed to satisfy them. They ask us to exit the vehicle for a car search. They searched the car and told us we could get back in. We drove about 10 feet to another "wristbands" to which we all held up a wrist and shook it once again. She smiled waved and we were inside wakarusa. No tickets, no $100 on site vehicle pass(highly sold out) and no line. And so began another chapter of summer 2012.
When I mention ridiculous shit happening to me. A guy dressed as cleapatra making out with my shoes on halloween 09 on the sidewalk in buffallo, and a bunch of other stuff.
I'm a people person for better or worse. I run into some crazy people, and tend to attract some wild shit.
IF I can find somebody to write a book and I'm not dead or forget everything by then I totally would. Maybe people would read it, maybe not. I wouldn't really care if it lost money, just think it would be funny. Especially if I put ALL the good ones in and didn't censor out some of the best parts.
/too long didn't read
