She "doesnt want a boyfriend"? i need help from the ladies

C

c-wayne

Member
long story short, met this girl at work through mutual friends, she got my number and we hit it off. Same personalities (very outgoing and fun) same interests and she snowboards wich is also a huge plus. We hung out a few times over the past 3 weeks and hooked up alot but didnt have sex. shes a virgin and doesnt really talk to many guys it seemed like for the most part, and so she sais, but she always seemed to have a shitton of dudes texting her. In all honesty, i usually play my cards really tight with girls but i felt like everything between us was perfect so i kinda started to really like her. She had been texting me nonstop and always willing to hangout anytime. Then last saturday she tells me (randomly) that shed lost feelings for us being together and she really had to tell me. I was dumbfounded because everything betwen us was flawless and perfect (so i thought). I asked why and she said she didnt really want a boyfriend anymore because she was scared it "wouldnt be worth her time, and she might get hurt" wich i initially thought was a bunch of bs.

So we decided to hang again after that and things were different when we did. She wasnt as fun, and wasnt as into me it seemed. I talked to her about it and she told me the same things as sunday and that it wasnt another guy and that it was "just her and not me" So then 3 days ago we end it because she said shes not ready for a bf and wants to just be friends.

So, i know this is not lm but what the fuck? Im so mad. what we had was amazing, like we clicked perfectly and everything was amazing and she like decided to blow it off.

So we havnt really talked since we broke it off, 2 days ago she texted me and i gave her short answers and she stopped texting me after a few short answers.

How should i handle this? We had something amazing and for some reason she didnt care or see it. I dont wanna be the one to text/call her first because i feel like she should be the one to come to me and fix things. Why would she not want what we had? And do you think i should wait a few days and then talk to her if she doesnt talk to me or what?
 
If she's not feeling it, well, there isn't much you can do man. It sucks, but it happens :\
 
but we hooked up a bunch, how did i get here? and what would make her not want me as a bf being we were perfect together
 
there is no explanation to getting in the friend zone just the fact that you are in it. there is probably no way out.
 
this is what im starting to convince myself, like we coulda had something great but stressing over this has hurt more than been good. I guess im gonna let her start our convos from now on and then go from there. Or should i just be done alltogether?
 
Get into this mindset, and just ignore the fuck out of her that is all you can do at this point. Act like you're better than her anyway. And when I say ignore I mean no texting or facebooking or any of that jazz. If you see her in person give her some attention but give more attention to others around you two. Get the upperhand back, and still at this point she may just not want you and you have to just be whatever about it. Or she will fucking be all over you because of how much you ignored her.
It's all about the upperhand man, and at some point you lost it. Always keep the upperhand.
 
Just start playing your cards with other girls or wait it out. If she wants to be with you, she will come to you because she now knows how you feel since you made that quite clear. There is nothing more you can do. Just move on. Again, if she wants to be with you, she will come to you.
 
This. And if she ends up actually being worth your time, things will find a way to work out. Let her text you or call you or whatever, but at the same time, don't be waiting around for her to talk to you. She seems up to something, so just let it be. I'm sorry, bud. I know you don't want to hear it, but move on.
 
Dude there's definitely more to her than you think. There's some reason she doesn't want to date you.

Here's a few reasons why she potentially doesn't want/can't date you:

1. Another guy, and she doesn't want to tell you (I doubt it)

2. She genuinely got scared. She thought things through, and didn't want to commit to anything. Women are weird, I've seen this happen

3. She heard something about you from a co-worker or a friend of hers that knows you. Women will believe ANYTHING (I also doubt this)

4. Family problems. Any family problems could make her upset and not want to focus on guys and focus on her family

5. (What I really think it is) She didn't have as strong feelings for you as you did her. I've had this happen, and seen it happen many times. Often known as "The Friend Zone" but a little different. You'll have that sexual connection, but really no more feelings besides friendship after that. For most women, they need a relationship that consists of trust, deep connection, sex or anything having to do with sex, and friendship. You were missing 2/4 pieces my friend! It just didn't work out.

Maybe in a while she'll want a relationship. Talk to her, don't ignore her and be immature about it. You've got this.

 
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i dont want a boyfriend = you aren't good enough to be my boyfriend.

if a girl digs ya, she wont friend zone you, and wont say shit like that. "oh you're too nice, you deserve someone better", "oh i just dont want this right now". fuck that. girls aren't logical. they are very emotionally driven. even if she DOESNT need a guy right now, she'll go for someone she's into. unfortunately, that clearly isn't you.

move along.

in fact, sometimes just flipping 180 and not talking to her can work in your favor. girls are crazy like that. when they have you on the hook and know that you're clearly into them, they don't want you. but as soon as you stop feeding them attention and just do your own thing, they realize "holy fuck, i want that guy back.."

give it a try. just cut her off. if she doesn't like you, she'll stay cut off. but if she, deep down, is interested in you, she'll realize that she wants you back in her life now that you've had some time away.

trust me.

listen to what i say, or you'll pay. (lolshootermcgavinquote)
 
What did you like about her besides the fact that she had similar hobbies and hooked up with you? Those things are nice, but they're not what make relationships.
 
This isnt all true. Some girls like 'The thrill of the chase'. Once you stop liking her and talking to her she might decide to comeback and do it all over again leading you into thinking that she likes you but shooting you down in the end.

Ive had this happen to me once, total dick move.
 
I'd say it's a combination of 2 and 5. She's a virgin who doesn't have a lot of relationship experience. You were making it very evident that you wanted it to be serious and she panicked and got out.

Likely she's attracted to you and likes you well enough as a person. But when you're coming at it from the 'we're perfect for each other' angle when she's been seeing you as someone she can have fun with she's going to get overwhelmed and friendzone you rather than having to sort out how she actually feels.
 
Cowboy up and win her like a man. All any girl wants is to be won. All you have to do is make it clear you want her, be persistent, without being pathetic. Obviously she likes you, she probably just wants to be single, so convince her otherwise by being the best man around. And dont listen to all these negative nancys, if you really like a girl you should never just give up, work for it until shes yours or you get tired of her.
 
honestly dude, just let it go as a random hookup, whats so bad about that. Had the same thing happen to me, I realized pretty early she was driftin away, told her it was awkward and that we should just do our own thing. And man am I happy I did, cause the next week was spring break and that woulda SUCKED if I had a girl to worry about. In the end, seriously just think of her as a random hookup and go find yourself another one
 
Step 1. Meet other girls

Step 2. Get pictures taken 'with' said girls

Step 3. Post on facebook

Step 4. She sees you as a preselected alpha male

Step 5. ???????????????????????

Step 6. Profitable Results
 
Like several other people have said, ignore her. maybe every once in a while throw her a bone and have a short convo, maybe like once every 2 weeks on average. And if she starts texting you first everyday, and you think things can maybe get started again, ask her right away if she's looking to be friends or if something could develop. If she is ready for a relationship, well, then there ya go. If she says she just wants friendship and not looking for anything more anytime soon, you can try and hang out with her, and if she's awkward while you're hanging out, leave her alone for good. If you decide you don't want to go down the friendship road all together, than break it off right away.
 
cracks me up how so many guys have these complex plan on how to get women, when all you really need to do is cowboy up and win her. Romance the hell out of her, all any girl wants is to be won. Show her how good of a man you are and she will want you
 
say ok and dont text her for a week and if she texts you, reply with short messages luke k and ya, but never show tillyiur interested and soon my friend you will leave thw cold dark place known as the friend zone
 
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