Sex manovers

Mills

Active member
any one got any funny sex stunts. an example would be the 'Houdini'

its when your doin a chick doggy style and you pull out and hork on her back. The girl suspecting that you blew on her back turns around. You then blow your load all over her unsuspecting face.

'Coach, I think I broke my dick.'

-Anthony Boronowski
 
i got a couple....here are some off the top of my head.

1) The Dirty Sanchez -- When you're going at it

doggy-style and just as

you're about to spill your load, you plunge a finger into her poopshoot and

reach around to her upper lip, where you proceed to paint on 'The Dirty

Sanchez.'

2) The Wet Burrito -- Similar to the Dirty Sanchez, only

performed with your own ball sweat.

3) The Code of Silence -- Anytime you fuck a girl that's

so dirty or uglythat you rip off the used condom, gag her with it, and tell her that you'll

kill her if she tells a soul what just happened between the two of you.

4) The Coyote -- When you wake up the morning after sex

with an absolute beast to find that she's sleeping on your arm and rather

than have to talk to her or, god forbid, touch her again, you gnaw your own

arm off and leave it there.

5) The Purple Mushroom -- When your receiving a little oral pleasure from

a girl and just before you shoot your load, you whip it out of her mouth

and try to impale her cheek. The impression it leaves resembles a purple

mushroom.

6) The Divot -- A must for golfers! When you've got your

hand below the belt on some girl with a fair amount of bush, you grab on to as much of it

as you can, scream 'Fore!' and rip every last pube out of her.

7) The Bronco -- When you're taking a girl doggy-style and just at the

moment of climax you reach around, grab her tits as tightly as you can,

scream out another girl's name, and enjoy the sensation as she tries to

buck you off.

8) The Rodeo -- A variation of the Bronco where a bunch of your closest

friends are hidden in a bedroom closet prior to the sexual

encounter. At some type of a prompt, they all run out with a video

camera and you try and see how long you can stay on as she tries to get away.

9) The Pearl Necklace -- When you are enjoying a fine

blowjob or titty-fucking session and you happen to leave a line of

droplets resembling a string of pearls around her neck.

10) The New York Style Taco -- Any time that you are so

drunk that you go down on a girl and puke in her box.

11) The Stinky Pinky -- When you're going at it from the

back and you insert a pinky finger in along side your member, reach

around front, and plunge it so far into her nostril that it tilts her head

back.

12) The Gobstopper -- When you're receiving a hand job and just as you're

about to come, the girl decides to squeeze your unit with all of her might and cap you off with

her thumb.

13) The Stranger -- When the tedium of your nightly jerk off becomes too much so you sit on your

hand until it falls asleep, giving the sensation of someone else doing it.

14) The Donkey Punch -- When you're attacking a girl from the back and at

the moment of climax you pull out, plunge it into her cornhole, let out a

mighty 'Hee Haw!' and punch her in the back of the head. Note: In order to

fully enjoy the Donkey Punch, you must knock her out as this results in a

tightening of the asshole.

15) The Hot Lunch (aka Cleveland Steamer, aka Hot Carl)

When you're receiving a blow job from a position where you're crouched

over her face on

all fours and you drop a monster shit right onto her chest.

16) The Chili Dog -- A variation of above where you proceed to titty-fuck

her afterwards.

17) The Shocker -- When you're fingering a girl and decide to give her a

surprise so you insert a digit or two into her asshole.

18) The Beetle Clip -- You insert your thumb into the snatch and

forefinger into the poopshoot and try your damndest to make them touch each

other.

19) The Six Pack -- When performing the above and you

attempt to carry the girl around (similar to the way you would a six pack).

20) The Golden Shower (aka Watersports) -- Any shape or form of urinating

on or in a girl.

21) The Bismarck -- When you've got your dick buried to the hilt in some

girl's throat and you pull out to sign her face, then belt her, and smear

the blood and come together.

22) Tossing Salad (aka Rim Job) -- A common prison practice that could

also be termed 'eating asshole.'

23) The Cave -- When you blow your load into a girl's mouth and proceed to

kick her teeth in, making her mouth look like a cave.

24) The Bullwinkle -- When you're entering your partner from the rear and

you reach up front, wrench her nipples as hard as you can, put your hands

up to the sides of your head like antlers, and wiggle your fingers and

stick out your tongue while emitting a high pitched turkey gobble.

25) Felching -- A homosexual activity in which one fag fucks another and

proceeds to suck his own splooge out of his partner's asshole with a straw.

This one's not even popular in prison.

26) The Dog in the Bathtub -- The name given to attempting to drop your

nuts into a girl's asshole. Aptly named as it's about the only thing

harder than getting a dog into a bathtub.

27) The Dolphin -- When you're giving it to a girl from behind and you

pull out to stuff it in her butt when she turns her head around and

whimpers, 'Uh Uh, Uh Uh,' sounding exactly like a

dolphin.

28) The V-Plow -- When you're muff diving and in order to look up at the

girl you drag your whole face through here snatch, nose

proudly leading the way, parting that nasty labia.

29) The Crimson Tide -- When you're going down on some girl and, to your

surprise, the lunar alignment dictates that her monthly flow has just to

begun.

30) The Free Willy -- When you've worked up such a throbber that when some

girl unzips your pants to give you a hummer, you spring forth and poke her

eye out harpoon style.

31) The Mudslide -- After convincing some girl to give you a little ass

munching action, you proceed to unleash a massive flow of diarrhea and sit

there and laugh as it runs down her face and body.

32) The Fortune Cookie -- After you're done banging some chick, you slip

the condom off as you pull out, leaving it in there for the next customer.

33) The Eiffel Tower -- When you and a friend decide to work a girl over

together. You get her down on all fours with one of you in her mouth and

the other going at it doggy style. From this position you give one another

a mighty, two-handed high five, making the entire structure resemble the

Eiffel tower.

34) The Angry Dragon -- On the first round of the night, work up an

extremely large load during a blow job. Just before you're about to

explode, grab the back of her head and ram your unit as far down her throat

as possible, causing her to gag on your pint of fluid. The result? She

spews it out of her nose, making her resemble an angry dragon.

35) The Flying Camel -- A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back

and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself

without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your

arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a camel in distress.

Strictly a class move.

36) The Fishhook -- A variation of the shocker in which

you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her

anus.

37) The Ram -- Again, you're attacking from behind, when

you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force

of the wall against her head should allow for deeper penetration. Very

handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.

38) The Fountain of You -- While sitting on her face and having her eat

your asshole, jerk off like a madman, build up as much pressure as possible

before releasing, and spew like a geyser all over her neck, tits, and

stomach (Better in her bed).

39) The Pink Glove -- This frequently happens during sex when a girl is

not wet enough. When you pull out to give her the money,

the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. This is referred to as the pink

glove.

40) The Fish Eye -- Fucking her from behind, you shove your finger in her

ass (or his if you are in prison) whereupon she turns around in a one-eyed

winking motion to see what the hell is going on back there.

41) The Fur Ball -- You're chomping away at some trollop who has a mane

between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur ball

gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.

42) Tea Bagging -- When she takes your whole scrotum into

her mouth and holds it there like a tea bag in a cup of hot water.

43) The Hummer -- While sucking on your rod, she emits a

low humming noise. The vibrations from her throat make it all too

easy to bring her concert to a quick end.

44) Snow Balling -- Occurs when some chick takes your load in her mouth

and has the audacity come up and kiss you while it's still in there.

45) The Camel Clutch -- When she's lying on her stomach with you giving it

to her from behind and you decide to emulate the Iron Sheik through his

signature move, grabbing her underneath the chin and pulling straight back

with both hands.

46) The Rumpledforeskin -- When some girl makes you stop fucking her

because she somehow realizes that you don't remember her name,

causing you to go limp (like the fairy tale).

47) The Skull Fuck -- The act of removing a person's eye (unless you

really luck out and find someone who's already lost one)

and fucking the gaping whole left in its place.

48) One in the Fridge, One in the Freezer -- Another one that requires a

partner, this simply refers to you and a buddy putting one

in her pussy and another in her butt, and simultaneously trying to reach

her uterus and large intestine.

49) The Repunzel -- When no amount of suggestion, persuasion, or begging

will get a girl to go down on you and you're forced to

resort to simply pulling her head down there by the hair.

50) The Boston Cooler -- Any form of oral stimulation in which you

cleverly conceal ice cubes in you mouth to surprise your

partner.

*and* ...

51) The Triple Crown -- Any three of the above events performed upon the

same person.

52) The Hat Trick -- Any three of the above events performed over the

course of a single evening.

53) The Technical Knockout (TKO) -- Any three of the above events

performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening.

54) The Clean Sweep -- Any four of the above events performed upon the

same person.

55) The Grand Slam -- Any four of the above events performed over the

course of a single evening.

56) The Rape and Pillage -- Any four of the above events performed upon

the same person over the course of a single evening.

57) THE DIRTY FRANCENE - all of the above events performed on any 2

members of the Creasy family.

Taste Death. Live Life.
 
dude, you got your donkey punch rong, and if you really want to do all this, your a sick fuck.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Official Co-leader of the Communist party of Newschoolers

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Official Benditto Hater Of NewSchoolers

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Work Pays off later, Laziness pays off now :D

If you cant say Fu** at least 10 times in one sentence, you must not really be upset.

Im Scared

When your going big mountain, off da cliffs, you gotta briing your first aid, your shovel, your water, your food, your helmet, your radio, all your safety gear, cuz diing aint livin man

Travis- Yo man, i gotta go take a shit.

Ryan- Oh yeah, i dominated one this morning :P.
 
and every second spent reading it was well worth it

'Coach, I think I broke my dick.'

-Anthony Boronowski
 
That was horrible. . . some of those, aobut 4 or 5 were realyl realyl funny and i couldnt' stop laughing. . . but some of those were just plain sick

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If humans and dolphins are the only mammals on the earth that have sex for pleasure, do dolphins masturbate themselves like humans do?

Man is not what he thinks he is but what he thinks...he is ~ Elrond Hubbard

Proud Member of the Issy Freeride Team

www.IssyFreeriders.com
 
your forgot the squeegy.... its when you are fucking a chick in the ass and you hit her in the kidnies on both sides as hard as you can. Her butt will tightin super tight and you rip you dick out, thus her anus would have wiped all the poo of you dinky

'Coach, I think I broke my dick.'

-Anthony Boronowski
 
i know, horrible. and a donkey punch is where you punch the chick in the kidneys, and her pussy gets super tight for ya, not knock her unconscious you sick muther fucker.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Official Co-leader of the Communist party of Newschoolers

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Official Benditto Hater Of NewSchoolers

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Work Pays off later, Laziness pays off now :D

If you cant say Fu** at least 10 times in one sentence, you must not really be upset.

Im Scared

When your going big mountain, off da cliffs, you gotta briing your first aid, your shovel, your water, your food, your helmet, your radio, all your safety gear, cuz diing aint livin man

Travis- Yo man, i gotta go take a shit.

Ryan- Oh yeah, i dominated one this morning :P.
 
Spitroast - Two guys needed… one in the mouth the other in the bum… the girl is known to spin on the two axis. (like a rotisserie chicken)

 
u got the bronco wrong. it goes like this.

when u are doing a girl in the ass right before u blow ur load u say 'oh yeah i forgot, i have aids' then u try and hold on for as long as possible.

Oompa
 
ha you caught me nrthfacer! it was actually a joke and most people would see the irony in my post because it was so big and formal yet i said it was off the top of my head.

Taste Death. Live Life.
 
yeah that was hillarious SUpilot, and AJ_concepts thats mad funny too, but pretty evil

--------------------

Creator of the NS Cousin Exchange Program

'Hey look, it's a Zamboni.' My not so intelligent friend after he saw the Loon Gondola

Stealth Ninja of the Silent Army

Viva la Resistance!

 
blow in her muff and push on her belly. It makes her pussy fart. hilarious.

------------

'Dude, check out this nasty gouge.'

'Your mom has a nasty gouge.'

I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.
 
man, most of that shit is nasty, why do u even bother.

'Hey how could that fungus have fooled me?'

'because fungus is smarter then u dipshit'-Me and my locker partner discussing the stench that comes from a sealed tupperware container in our locker.

Proud member of the official NS Ogre team, and NS communist party

 
i got all of those in an e-mail a few months ago

___________________

'Instead of chewing bubble gum, chew bacon.' -Dr. Nick Riviera
 
a houdini- your going at it doggy style then when you are about to blow your load you spit on her back, she thinks you have blown your load, she turns around and you blow your load in her face...kinda sick if you ask me...i read that on the internet someplace....

www.spyder.com

'save the trees, wipe your ass with an owl!'

'Micheal Jackson was born a black man and will die a white woman'

 
haha push a man over, thats funny.

but yeah hmmmmm i have nothing to say, but i live day to day, yay rhyme i like rhyme? is that how you spell it?

 
you guys gotta try the tony danza

do her in the ass and ask her whos boss, if you are any good she will say you big boy, and you say wrong bitch, and cock slap her on the ass, 'fucking tony danzas your boss'

seward backwards is drawes,blackman term for underwear - Lateralis pointing something out that i have never noticed in my 18 years of existence
 
crusty johnson: You go up to the girl while she's having a nap and whack onto her face. Then when she wakes up, she is stuck to the pillow.

not that iv ever done that...

-Mike
 
yeah i mean the ppl that post the most manuevers are pbly all virgins

'Hey how could that fungus have fooled me?'

'because fungus is smarter then u dipshit'-Me and my locker partner discussing the stench that comes from a sealed tupperware container in our locker.

Proud member of the official NS Ogre team, and NS communist party

 
i got one

The Plumpkin - getting a blow job while on a toilet takin a morning dump.

thats so wrong haha

**************

Rob aka 'Raab'
 
yes we must all be a bunch of lonely pussy hungry virgens

cause you know virgens can openly talk about sex and different sexual positions cause they are comfortable talking about sex.

fucking dumbass

just cause you got nothin

dosnt mean were virgins.

seward backwards is drawes,blackman term for underwear - Lateralis pointing something out that i have never noticed in my 18 years of existence
 
what the flying fuck are u talkn about!? According to what u just said, those 12 year old guys who talk about sex to sound cool, they cant be virgins, right?

'Hey how could that fungus have fooled me?'

'because fungus is smarter then u dipshit'-Me and my locker partner discussing the stench that comes from a sealed tupperware container in our locker.

Proud member of the official NS Ogre team, and NS communist party

 
SUpilot = coolest man alive, everyone bow down, he can be like bush, man hes good with power.

eat a battery.

 
lol those were some good ones.. I like bronco and the rodeo hahha

'Don't like hesh - Don't like rap - kicked ol' sally cos she fat - I'm a jerk I'm a punk took a shower cos I stunk - smoked a bong killed a cat - had my nuts attacked by rats dad got nude - I wore a thong - for a hobby I make bombs' Tom DeLounge

 
sit on top of her with your knees on her shoulders and beat her in the face with your savage beast of a boner,its funny when you leave a toecap mark on her forehead

friend: You want a piece of garlic bread?

me: no thanks,im not a vampire.
 
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