Thats a great article about a journey throught the ups and down. It was short, but I would have dove deeper into the small steps towards healing. Overall, a good read.
Ive seen the depths of hopelessness pit and crawled my way back out. I couldnt get any help; family thought I was making it up, friends left because I was a downer and because of my safety sensitive job, depression is a injury that would get my medical removed, hence loose my job. So then, I wouldnt have any insurance or income to pay for treatment.
After a suicide attempt at work, things had to change and now. 11 years later, Im a new person with a better outlook on life. Here are a few key wisdoms that work.
1. You dont suffer from depression; you live with it. There are good days and bad days, the good days are when the dragon is asleep.
2. Anxiety is the fear of the unknown, sadness is the loss of another (of possession) and depression is the loss of the self. Anxiety can be reduced by planning ahead, sadness needs mourning and depression requires a complete rebuilding of the self.
3. Dont wait up after anyone, or else you will spend your life waiting. If everyone bails on you, do it anyway. Its hard, but not relying on others is a good way to get used to motivation.
4. Have the guts to say “not well” when people ask you how are you doing. There is no social rule against it.
5. Building a new identity requires trial and error. The last one failed, so try new activities you never considered. Dont do big projects; stick to easy goals. I tried gardening, trail building and prospecting to get myself outside. Trail building was the best; people thank you for the work and you see the difference after your done.
6. Study your illness. Pick it appart, dissect it and find root causes. Study different schools of thought to explain and better yourself
7. 3 rules of people: no one cares, nothing matters and everyone dies. If anyone breaks any of those rules, they are positive people that you can concentrate your life around them.
8. Ride for fun, compete for therapy. Nothing says “you got gut” more than stanting on top of a course. The simple act of even showing up is a sign of confidence in front of the fear of the unknown. It takes even more to drop in.
9. The path to wisdom comes in one of 3 methods: education, experience or tragidy. You always emerge a better person when wisdom is gained.
Skiing is how I got back to balance. There is a sense of purpose when in a skiing adrenaline rush. Its a weird fight mentality when things go wrong and a blessing when things go well. It always helps me get away from my demons and focus on whats important: the next 3 seconds in front of me. Once calmed down, I get to reflect and the accomplishement with a smile on my face.
I hope it helps you on you journey to feel better and focus on positive aspects to develop. Keep writing about discoveries you made, the lessons learnt from failiure and record your life to remember it. Its a first person story with a complicated plot that the pages bleach as you write. By recording it, you will have an accurate view on the past and not just a bunch of false memories and paranoid thoughts.
