Reinventing Myself

[tightpants]

[tightpants]

Active member
I made a thread earlier about talking to my parents about smoking weed. I believe I said I was about to be hit with a shitstorm. Well... it was more like a fucking massacre. One of my best friends who is very open with his parents about his behavior is also apparently very open with them about his friends' behavior as well. His parents, who knew all about my marijuana use, also knew quite a bit about my other drug use and decided that they needed to have a chat with my parents about the things their sons were getting high on while away at college.

I was a pissed off at first, then scared, and then I finally broke down. I sat with my parents for at least 4 hours talking about it and they had a full range of emotions, too. They interrogated, yelled, lectured, and sobbed. Seeing your dad and mom cry always sucks. When it's because of stupid choices you made its almost unbearable.

I went into it with the mentality of "how do I defend myself?" but I left with an altogether different perspective. The last 2 years I have struggled to find happiness. I feel like I've been wandering aimlessly through life without any purpose or direction. I wouldn't go as far to say I've been depressed, but I just don't get the utils out of my days that I used to (if you don't understand that economics/philosophy reference look up John Stuart Mill--he was a brilliant man).

I've tried to get my kicks with drinking and drugs and sex but all of that just leaves me feeling empty. I've been unfocused and unproductive even though I've somehow managed to get good grades. I'm a junior in college and I still don't know what I want to major in or do with my life. I've been a complete slob that hasn't brought any happiness to myself or others. On top of that, ALL of my good friends at school have either become hopelessly addicted to drugs or have failed out, and I'm legitimately terrified that I'm next on the chopping block.

So I've decided to ring in the new year by completely reinventing myself. I'm going to honor my parents' request for me to quit all drugs (yes, even bud). Along with quitting drugs I'm going to stop drinking to get drunk and keep it only to weekends, take my studies seriously and take pride in my schoolwork, eat healthier, go to the gym, get involved in student organizations, and meet some new friends. It isn't going to be easy but I just need to get back to being the fun-loving, outgoing, and content person that I used to be.

I apologize that this is so long-winded and pointless, but I've never made one of these threads and I just felt like I had to share what I'm going through right now. I hope that some of you can find a little inspiration in my story. Any advice, encouragement, or even simple acknowledgment that you read what I had to say would be greatly appreciated. Love to all of you, NS. And good luck to those of you facing similar situations or have difficult resolutions for this new year. Lets make 2010 the best year of our lives.
 
im gonna beat the shitstorm of normal nsg remarks and say, good for you and good luck man. Vibes your way.
 
the only reason you feel a need for "reinvention" is because your parents have so determined it.

you said it yourself - you went in wanting to defend yourself. seeing them cry probably more than anything influenced this new avenue of yours.
 
Nah not really. I want to do this because I've been unhappy with my life for the past few years. I've been thinking about quitting drugs for a while now after seeing my friends fuck up their lives. This was just the spark that I needed to do something that is ultimately going to be very beneficial for me in the long run.
 
good on ya mang, those sort of talks with the rents always suck. Hopefully you can stick with it

I've gotta do shit like get fit again too. I've noticed im starting to get some flab around the belly and generally feeling tired and unmotivated. So i'll junp on the change bandwagon in this thread and get fit again this year
 
serious question right here:
Had you not gone to college and taken a year off to get a look at the "real world," would you have more direction/motivation/plan on what you wanted to do, as well as being happier?
 
Awesome read...I don't know you, but I'm proud in a way that you can take a step back and look at it from another angle. You know what you want to get out of your life, you're determined, and you know how to get there. Its awesome that this isn't about pleasing your parents, but about pleasing yourself. Good luck to you sir, but I don't think you'll need it.
 
i think saying it out loud like youve just did is the best bet when u want to do something like that.

that way youll believe more in it
 
props to you sir. good luck and as long as your doing it for yourself it shouldnt be too hard to stay on the path.
 
Well said man, good luck with everything, it won't be easy but if you're determined to change, you'll be fine.
 
i suggest this. i failed out of school my first time around. i actually just ended up appealing most of my bad grades from the first time around because i ruptured my spleen at waterville while i was there and it worked out as a nice excuse, but in all reality i really had zero drive to do well what so ever. i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life and was far more focused on drugs and alcohol and hanging out with my friends.
my parents kicked me out of my house after breaking the news to them and i ended up moving to utah with a few friends. paying for rent, food, gas, car insurance and really all of lifes expenses on $10/hr is not a good time. thinking about doing that for the rest of your life is reeeeally not a good time. it really knocked some sense into me as to finding something in life i really wanted to accomplish and make the world a better place, and provide me with a bit steadier income. facing the real world really instilled some motivation towards my life and really changed me into a much much better person i'd like to think.
i ended up paying for a few summer classes at salt lake community, getting straight a's and sitting down to prove to my parents that i was really motivated towards achieving my new goal. i've now completed two semesters of new coursework with a 3.7 gpa. by far the highest grades i've ever achieved because i have an actual drive.
i really suggest taking a year off. when you go back to school you could easily completely forget about the entire conversation with your parents, and you even said yourself you have no idea what you want to do with your life. don't punish yourself into a lifepath that you're going to be miserable everyday accomplishing.
while quitting all mind enhancing things is a good step towards changing yourself, at least in my case, having a goal in mind to work towards really helps a lot. it makes your goal become the most important detail of your life, and then excessive drinking, smoking, etc kind of fall to the side.
pretty sure this is the longest thing i've ever written on this website. lolz.
 
just because your parents want things doesn't mean it has to be the way things are. but the fact is that he knew he was miserable about the way that he was acting and he saw the way that others felt like they were losing him too. he said so himself.
moderation is really key, and it's great that you still have good grades and stuff, but yeah, it's really hard once you hit that freedom boat to stay level. i also live with an alcoholic and if you continue down that path it would be naive to think that drug users can quit at anytime, maybe now yes, not so much in the future, they're fun as fuck, but seeing how it screws you up and everything else around you first hand is a really good way to see the light, sad but realistic.
anywho, good luck dude! all the best. remember that happiness is small decisions you make for yourself everyday, it's not always big things, sometimes it's a lot of very small things, like going to the gym, eating right, cleaning up house. etcstay strong.
 
Best of luck in all your future endeavors.

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sounds like that started out rough man, good work changing it around though im guessing thats what most people problems are is they just cant get the motivation to do anything.
 
Trying to find happiness through drugs of any kind because your depressed is always a bad idea.

As for quiting smoking, go for it, but do it for you, not your parents. Your 21 sir, you have to make your own decisions. Sometimes your parents won't agree with you, thats life. But your old enough to make your own choices and they need to understand that.

But good luck all around
 
maybe i shouldnt have put it as miserable but life is much more fulfilling if theres passion behind your work. just my advice to find something you truly want to do with your life, as opposed to, well i guess i'll do this to foot the bill.
 
good job dude......i hope all the other kids on here doing drug will see it the same way as you some day.
 
Considering the way the OP posted I think his parents intervening like this even though he is 21 was probably a good thing.

Hope you can turn it around OP.
 
Sometimes people can't manage stuff. Partying and school. Sometimes it's not the drugs at all.

or it could be another example with the super crazy parents who think smoking weed is the worst thing ever. I know a girl who burns before class/tests, and still gets ridiculous grades, and shes on a scholarship
 
OP mentions "other drug use". I somehow think the parents confronted him cause of that first more than pot.

And I also know plenty of people who are basically high all the time but do fucking crazy good in school.
 
real well written (i enjoyed reading it) and even better with your new goals+vibes to keep the integrity you got going on moving
 
good choice, its always nice to hear about someone changing their life for the better. anyone who relies on drugs and alcohol to be happy needs to have a serious change of lifestyle. i have no respect for the people who have to rely on drugs and alcohol to make their life interesting. they're the type of people who used to give me shit in highschool for not drinking, and now they are getting arrested and having trouble keeping a gas station job. definatly not the way to go.
 
They sound don't sound like winners and neither do you. Broad generalizations for the win. Peer pressuring is retarded. But your view of the people in your high school that drank is pretty weak too.

As far as the op, if he was wildly addicted to opiates, and doing all kinds of other things, i doubt he would have been that concerned about his parents knowing he smoked weed.

Sounds more like the case of going to college experimenting with crazy drugs like marijuana and alcohol, and then life isn't perfect so you crawl back to your parents and their particular moral set.

Maybe not idk, idk your situation. I would still say if your making any changes you should do it for yourself, not because your parents want you too. and best of luck regardless.
 
i think using drugs (not more than once a week) is okay, but if its constant use, you need to break it. i understand how you feel bro, and ++k and ++ vibes cuz this is a hard period of your life. best wished bro
 
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