Pooping in public

i always put toilet paper in front of the bowl to prevent certain things touching the toilet at all.

and its especially nasty if there is pee on the seat already.

but overall i kind of like using public bathrooms
 
i used to not want to shit in public, then college changed that, my floor was the worst, i woke up one morning looked into tolet number 1, puke and piss all over the seat, toilet 2 same thing, toilet 3 a half dozen bagles...needless to say i went to the floor above me. The bathroom was always horrible so i kidna go used to shitting in nasty places, as long as there isnt anything wet or grimy on the seat im cool with it.
 
i had to today. usually i avoid it, rarely do i have to, but i always make a toilet paper nest so my ass literally doesnt have to touch anything. its easy, if it werent for the nest i wouldn't think about it. why doesn't everyone just do that? your ass will not touch the seat i promise if you lay TP on the seat
 
ahh you see, i enjoy porta johns as they are the most lavish of out door accommodations. if your in a park pooping, you just use your foot, hold that plastic door open and its as if your shitting in the middle of a field, yet if you close the door its like a sauna, where your able to sweat off 2 lbs while ya shit.
 
i poop at school at least once a day.

in fact, in the sports locker room, this on toilet is my favorite place to poop in the world haha
 
I was at a 5 day lan party once, and a couple of my friends didnt take a single dump during all of those 5 days. I was shocked when they told me.
 
My dorm has a co-ed shit house... best thing to do is eat a ton of Mexican, sushi, and cabbage the day before... don't shit all day, wake up at 10 in the morning on a Saturday and drop a GIGANTIC shit and walk out... get a drink of water at the drinking fountain and listen to the girls freak out as they smell it.
 
1. Sit down2. Read graffiti3. Ignore bumhole wetness4. Feel immense relief5.?????????6.profit
 
i try not to poo in public restrooms but when i REALLY have to i will. i also kinda enjoy looking at all the writing/graffiti in the stalls.
 
I hung a picture up of each of my roommates in the communal bathroom at school, so each stall was a different kid, so when taking a shit, all you see is this face staring at you.......The one stayed up for about 4 weeks haha
 
i pooped in the middle of my neighbors' lawn at 2am

they're really weird assholes whose dogs bark constantly at 5 am and they obsess over how pristine their lawn is, so low and behold 5 of us went and shat on their lawn and pissed on their mccain sign
 
i once pooped in a park, than i saw a bike and had a vision. At that point i noticed a brown paper bag, and a bike nearby, i proceeded to pick up said log of greatness and laid it perfectly across the bike seat , and stood by with an evil snicker in my eye!

after oh i guess 20 minutes or so, said bike owner dropped by and took off into the wind pedaling uphill with my crap smeered all over his shorts> yup this is a true story from my evil days as a child. what a bastard i was.
 
I used to hate it, but now the pre- game/practice shit has become a ritual for effective performance. It's also nice for really big poops because public/school toilets are generally the jet ones that can handle and big load while making a cool whooshing sound.
 
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