Poem/rap for a girl

Shredneck

Shredneck

Active member
So I wrote this for a girl that didnt work out already posted in LM and decided I should never let her see it but thought I'd post it in here for purposes of the piece itself not the purpose enjoy and feel free to steal/ modify for your own female gain. peace

I once liked you not so long ago

I thought it was a phase, I was wrong though

I asked you out and you agreed

I thought I was about to succeed

I had it all planned out before it even started

Once I realized what was up I was broken hearted

I thought it would be you and me against the world/

but not long after I again realized it was just the world against me

I spent so much brain power on what it could be

just you and me

Nothing dirty just keepin it clean

ya know what I mean

Someone to chill with

to share thrills with

Someone to talk with

to walk with

Someone to hold tight whenever

there was a fright

Someone to be real with

someone to feel...

Happiness, Sadness , or suprise

whenever the moment should arise

But never lonliness

I thought I was through with that

But again I was wrong

So now Im writhing you this song

Trying to eleviate

the mental constraint

that I brought upon myself

but dont think I placed you upon a shelf

For I never objectfied you

I was more than physical

it was intellectual

Your personality

it had me forgetting reality

You never lost your touch

You told me you had to much-

going on

you never led me led on

For that I must applaud and clap

for you wrote the map-

with many routes of escape

becuase you didnt want to date

You set many clues

but I still ended up with the blues

I thought I could make it as your partner

I should have been smarter

What did I ever do

to deserve a girl as amazing as you

I never put in any work

Now I feel like a jerk

everytime I give you that smirk

and realze that you dont share the same quirk

That same mentality

of you and me together in reality

As it turns out it was only a dream

or so it may seem-

that I just had my mind on the prize

but I didnt realize

that by aiming for girlfriend

that I was going to lose a regular friend

When you read this rhyme

it has become the time-

in which I have given up my quest

laid it to rest

this isnt meant to impress

rather to adress-

my crush

and the the rush-

I placed on what could have been/

If your reading this it means that I've moved along /

but it doesnt mean that I'll forget

the time in my life that I thought you were it

The one
 
stick to what was said in lm you wont get mature responses here most likely...but dont send it to her
 
this is actually pretty good, i picture poems like drum beats, try to make the snare fall on different places ya know? like your rhyme scheme was basically ABABABABABABBAAABABABABAB. if you had made that more complicated it would have been a much better written poem and the ideas would be written more clearly and it would sound much more smooth, this is more of a deep rap. nice job though! sorry! (POETRY IS NOT
 
thanks dude I just wrote this on my i pod last night while I was in bed. I really like writing poetry/raps it relaxes me helps me deal with issues. Yesterday I was bugging out about this topic and today I'm a lot better I recommend it to anyone
 
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