dude... i read this a few minutes ago and then clicked out of it, thinking you've had enough support. But i came back to tell you a story of mine.
when i was in second grade, my brother, who was in 6th grade at the time, was diagnosed with a very rare type of melanoma. not skin melanoma, one that grows primarily in your eyes. anyways, he had cancer in his right eye. he had to have it completely removed and had to have radiation therapy 5 times a week so he could live. in about a year the cancer went away and he lived with a glass eye, replacing where his old one used to be. i didn't know the significance of this, as i was 7 years old.
last summer, when my bro went in to have cosmetic surgury around his eye due to lack of tissue development, they discovered more cancer. they had to remove a ton of tissue. there is currently a hole the size of an ice cream scoop in his head, and he can't use his glass eye anymore. there's just a hole. i was 14 at the time, and i remember sitting in the waiting room. a doctor came out and told me my bro has several years left to live because the cancer had grown so fast. he was and still is my best friend. he's the nicest guy i have ever known and is always trying to help other people out.
i lived knowing this for about a year. now, through some miraculous... miracle, they can't find anymore cancer and he's completely fine.
but you should know that i know exactly how you feel right now... it's all i could think about for a YEAR. even though shitty things happen to the best of us, know that you are not alone.