Please help edit my research paper due tomorrow! +K

ScubaSteveFather

ScubaSteveFather

Member
My paper is about oil use in transportation and if it is possible to replace it. I mostly focus on battery technology using graphene. I'm not going to post it on here because I have to turn it in via turnitin.combut here is the dropbox link (its a word document) Don't worry I promise it is not a virus simply a dropbox link to my paper.

Thanks and +K to all who give good criticism (be harsh its helps me out) Its due tomorrow morning btw.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/59020628/Graphene%20Paper%20Draft%204.docx

(click to download) word document
 
fuck i was literaly about to steal your paper cause i need one by monday, then you said it needs to be on turnitin.com..
 
1.) Comma after but in first paragraph

2.) I noticed you are using but a lot of the times in your first paragraph. Try mixing it up with words/phrases like however or on the contrary

not going any farther :( Don't have patience go get Mr. Mike-O
 
I noticed a few typographical errors, for example in the first paragraph you write "Oils" when it should be written as a possessive ("Oil's). The more overarching problem in my opinion was a general lack of flow to the writing. It seemed as if all the sentences were too short and as soon as I started to get into it I was met with a period. It made it awkward to read.

Also, how can you not mention the Chevy Volt in a paper on electric vehicles?

What's the word requirement?
 
^^^That and because the Chevy Volt is a plug-in hybrid not a fully electric vehicle

As for the word requirement its 1750-2500 words (I'm at 2000 exactly pretty much I think)
 
So what? The whole point of plug in hybrids is to use electricity unless you hit the range limit, so it's almost always operating as a fully electric vehicle.
 
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