say something horribly out of line and mean to make her cry, then you say...
"AWWWWWW, you look fat when you cry"
boom roasted,
or you can tell her that she insecure because she is a weak spineless woman who is no more than an irrational, illogical being used by men for cooking, cleaning and sex, and that is all she'll ever be worth.
thats my $.02