NS, I need your help. (Serious Thread)

Squeenerd

Squeenerd

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If you came here to post something stupid, please leave now. No spark notes, so sack up and read.

I am dealing with a suicidal friend.

Background info: We will call him "B"

-B is overweight, has issues with acne.

-He is insecure, awkward, depressed, angry, and stubborn as hell.

-His father is extremely successful and hardworking, but verbally and emotionally abusive to him and his mother

-His mother is the kindest, sweetest woman on the planet, which is great, but he is babied to the point where most things are done for him.

-B has an older brother, who is the exact opposite: Funny, light hearted, social, musically talented. He is currently serving an LDS mission (he is away from home for 2 years) which has had an immense impact on B.

-He has an older sister, who is a little crazy. She recently went through a divorce, which also affected B because he adored his brother in law. (Much more complications which i won't get into)

-B spends countless hours playing, thinking, and fantasizing about video games. VIDEO GAMES ARE HIS LIFE. His grades suffer because of them. His abilities to socialize and communicate properly suffer because of them. As a child, he was surprisingly small and skinny, but video games caused him to gain weight. He lives in a fantasy world in his own brain, and has just begun to realize the real world.



Last night, i was texting B. He constantly asks me how to talk to girls, how to make friends, etc. I always give him the same answers. I tell him I can only help so much, making friends is all up to you. We argue back and forth. I tell him, you have to try, in which he always replies, "I have and failed. I look like a complete fool." I proceed to tell him that you can't just try once, blah blah blah.



Lately, he has been hinting at the idea of death and suicide. B does not know how to ride a bicycle, and complains about it. So I told him I would teach him. His reply: "You do and i stab myself in the heart." I know, it's a little unrealistic. Keep in mind that he is on the "Nerdy" spectrum of society: He loves games like WOW, Skyrim, Lord of the Rings. He has a collection of knives and swords. His father also has a collection of guns.

When he was young, he underwent surgery in which mistakes were made, causing him to cough up blood for two weeks (or so he claims.) The only reason he can remember is because his mom always brings it up, because she feared losing him at the time. He says things like, "Maybe I should have died" or "Life would have been better if i were dead."



So NS, I am scared. I don't want to lose one of my best friends. I don't know what to do. I try to invite him to hang out with me and my group of friends, but he never wants to. He hints at death and suicide quite often now.

Also, I want everyone to realize how dangerous something as simple as video games can be. They can destroy you.

Thanks for listening, sorry about the huge amount of text :/

 
IF you have to, talk to his parents. I know i saved some kids life a few weeks ago by calling his parents when i got the heads up he was being suicidal, Just tell his parents you are concerned and it is outside the domain of what you think you can help him with. Also once he is calmed down a little bit try to get him to excercise. Not only willl it help him with his weight problem it will give him self worth and self confidence. Everytime he stays at home letting his ass grow he is only reinforcing the thought in his head that he is worthless. once he has self worth and confidence friends and girls will come.
 
Remind him "YOLO"

As corny as it sounds, it will help him realize that he should live life to the fullest and that there's nothing afterwards.

Inb4 religious shitstorm,

But I'm serious.
 
committing suicide is so dumb. if your at the point where you dislike your life enough to just end it, then you might as well take some risks to make it kick ass. dump all your money into a plane ticket and go climb everest, or knock on the door of the plaboy mansion and threaten to kill yourself if you dont get laid. what the hell, at least try to streak at a football game or something. if i decided i wanted to die, i sure as hell would just give up and do it in my stinky ass closet.
 
Someone up there mentioned excercising with him. This would be great because not only would it be him interacting with others outside as well as alot of times, excercising can help you mentally with depression and other things. Scary stuff man but just be there for him whenever you can without coddling him like his mom, doesn't seem like it would help him. At some point he has to help himself too.
 
you are a good friend. Your friend needs professional help that unfortunately is beyond what you can offer.
 
Tell his parents and see what they say. If they just give you BS call the police. You are not qualified to deal with suicidal people, the police know people that are.
 
Definately try to get him to go exercise with you. Just get him out of the house and off of his video games. Keep doing this and try to make it a routine with him. Not only will he be getting exercise, you and him can talk and just that alone can help people to grt away from suicide. A friend that sincerely cares shows him that hes loved by more than just his parents alone. If he is really serious, tell the pollice and his parents about the issue as well as people have already said. Hopefully it just takes a good friend and you have the ability to be that guy right now. Also maybe send his bro a letter if you can and let him know. His brother could make a big impact on him as well even thought he is far away. (not sure where he is serving)
 
just a thought, get him skiing! I made a ton of great friends through skiing, and its not super hard to get someone to go skiing.

Or get him a jetski...its impossible to be sad...on a jetski..
 
This, if you're gonna go out, go out with a bang!

But seriously I read the whole thing, and it seems like you're a good friend who genuinely cares and wants to help. Just wondering but how old are you guys? It seems that your friend has just been wasting his life away and doing the exact opposite of what he should be doing. Instead of creating awesome, radical memories to smile back upon later in life, he's wasting his life away with skyrim...I agree with the person who said that if he keeps acting like this to go to his parents. This is beyond you and your friend needs help from someone who knows how to deal with shit like this. Best of luck man!
 
Sounds like he's depreseed and the suicidal talk may be a cry for help. I would talk to his mom and recommend he goes to tsalk to a pychiatrist for possible anitdepressants and to a pschologist so he has someone he can talk to in confidence without fear of lashback. Your a good friend, good luck.
 
yup, your responsibility right now is to tell someone who can help him. I would start at school with a counselor or something. You will need to be supportive afterwards because he might be unhappy or resistant to getting help. You do need to tell somebody for sure though.
 
Thanks a bunch guys, I really appreciate all your words of advice.

We are both 17 and are entering our senior year of high school this fall.

I've talked to my parents about it.

I have tried so much to get him to go exercise, hang out, but again, he is extremely stubborn.

He actually used to ski, and was apparently pretty good at it, but he fell off the lift and has been to scared (and now unathletic) to go back.

Thanks again NS, I'm trying my best
 
Not so much on the helpful side but regarding the video games, I'm so grateful now that my parents never bought me video games and forced me into outdoor activities as a kid. Much better off for it now. Think of almost every fat, socially awkard kid that you know of and i can almost guarantee they play lots of video games. My neighbour sounds like your friend (other than the suicide part) and he's goin no where in life but he loves his WoW, COD or whatever it is he games
 
Exactly. He got addicted to video games at a young age. If he doesn't get himself together in the next year I honestly don't know what he will do with his life. He can't talk to girls = no marraige. He cannot hold a job, he's incapable of working from what I know. His grades are less than stellar, and he really doesn't like being away from his mom, so if anything he will go to a community college
 
Had a guy almost identical to your friend in my high school, rode my bus every day in grades 10 and 11. Highest gamescore on xbox live I know. Overweight and kind of got teased for being fat everyday mostly from his friends. He was actually really smart had a scholarship for engineering the next year in university. Jusat like your friend this guy never talked to girls or had a job. Graduated with us but 2 days before final were over he hung himself. Saddest thing to happen in all of highschool going to pick up my report card and having to sign a card in memory of him at the same time. You should tell his parents/ councellor about your friend because it sounds almost identical to the case I just explained.
 
I look at suicide as being selfish... just think of all the people you hurt when something(s) go wrong and you just give up. People who love you and care for you. I agree with the YOLO thing tho.
 
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