Not falling asleep to pass a drug test

Al.Capone

Al.Capone

Member
Well, unfortunately, I have a drug test coming up tomorrow morning and a dude is going to watch me pee. As one realizes they are probably doomed they start to come up with dumb solutions to save themselves. My logic here is this. When you sleep toxins naturally build up overnight as your body is resting, thats why you need to pee in the morning. My drug test is first thing in the morning since I'm going in before school. Would staying up all night and drinking water and coffee help my efforts to not get in trouble? Help me out homies with any tips as this might mean less skiing depending on the results.
 
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if you have enough time in the morning, get to a head shop that sells the whizzinator. its literally a fake dick that pumps out synthetic urine.

if the whizzinator isn't an option, buy a detox drink. follow the directions EXACTLY. most require you to pee at least three times before your test before you have a 'clean' window, so plan accordingly.

if you don't have time for either of the above, start drinking a shitload of water immediately. anywhere from 1-2 gallons depending on how much time you have. take a bunch of b vitamins. eat a bunch of red meat, or even better, take a creatine supplement if you have some available. piss at least 3-4 times before the test. when you test, pee a little in the toilet first, catch your urine mid-stream, then finish in the toilet. the first and last parts of your stream are the dirtiest (have the most metabolites).

aside from synthetic urine, whether its through a detox drink or your own means, your best hope is to dilute below the 50ng threshold while artificially coloring (with b vitamins) and raising your creatine levels to avoid a suspicious/overly diluted test.

good luck
 
Thanks doods.

Update: Op took the test, is now at school, and is waiting 2 hours for the results to come in. I went midstream but unfortunately passed out so I won't know if my theory stands a chance. I did make the guy feel as uncomfortable as possible though.
 
13288535:Al.Capone said:
Thanks doods.

Update: Op took the test, is now at school, and is waiting 2 hours for the results to come in. I went midstream but unfortunately passed out so I won't know if my theory stands a chance. I did make the guy feel as uncomfortable as possible though.
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Did you shake it in his face?
 
13288535:Al.Capone said:
Thanks doods.

Update: Op took the test, is now at school, and is waiting 2 hours for the results to come in. I went midstream but unfortunately passed out so I won't know if my theory stands a chance. I did make the guy feel as uncomfortable as possible though.
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Good luck OP
 
13288535:Al.Capone said:
Thanks doods.

Update: Op took the test, is now at school, and is waiting 2 hours for the results to come in. I went midstream but unfortunately passed out so I won't know if my theory stands a chance. I did make the guy feel as uncomfortable as possible though.
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Passed out mid pee?
 
Why were you getting tested? What level of school? I would just refuse and tell them to go fuck themselves honestly. If you're applying for a job operating heavy machinery that's one thing, but for school? Fuck that noise.

Even if you fail tell them to go fuck themselves.
 
13288535:Al.Capone said:
Thanks doods.

Update: Op took the test, is now at school, and is waiting 2 hours for the results to come in. I went midstream but unfortunately passed out so I won't know if my theory stands a chance. I did make the guy feel as uncomfortable as possible though.
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lol wut you passed out?
 
13288718:steeze4days said:
This is why you always get pugs instead of drugs kids.

Learn from OP's mistakes
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i just do dugs that don't stay in your system.. Like huffing paint or keyboard duster
 
topic:Al.Capone said:
Well, unfortunately, I have a drug test coming up tomorrow morning and a dude is going to watch me pee. As one realizes they are probably doomed they start to come up with dumb solutions to save themselves. My logic here is this. When you sleep toxins naturally build up overnight as your body is resting, thats why you need to pee in the morning. My drug test is first thing in the morning since I'm going in before school. Would staying up all night and drinking water and coffee help my efforts to not get in trouble? Help me out homies with any tips as this might mean less skiing depending on the results.
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13288327:swaggerboi said:
use the middle of the stream

or accuse the guy watching you pee of sexual harassment and sue his pedophile ass
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If you actually think that staying up one night is gonna get you to pass a drug test you are a fucking moronic retard. Might consider killing yourself. Actually end your life now.
 
13288370:seanahue. said:
good luck
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Solid advice, thanks Sean

13288601:COOOOP said:
Passed out mid pee?
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Haha I passed out last night so i didn't stay up as planned.

13288634:theabortionator said:
Why were you getting tested? What level of school? I would just refuse and tell them to go fuck themselves honestly.
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This is the story, sorry if it's long but I gotta explain it to the newschooler homies. Freshman year I was doing pretty good, a's b's maybe a c and my parents thought it'd be good to put me in a private school here in slc. I'm not rich by any means though I took a test and they hooked up a scholarship so that's why I go there. I'm an average student but they hooked up the scholarship because of my parents income I actually have to work to pay for skiing, food, clothes, etc. So my parents cover the school. Apparently it's easier to get into college from there.

Since it's private though they feel entitled to fuck people over without any basic privileges, like privacy that's why they can drug test I guess. At the end of October I failed and my dad came in to sign a contract agreeing to another test. I know they warned me but I controlled my intake so as not to be dirty for a long time and get it out of my system. The test was due by this Friday before finals. Last time I smoked was New Years and I figured a week would be good to drink water and test clean. This morning the test turned out clean and my dad dropped it off and dipped. The dean called me in and said the test wasn't valid and I have to get a hair test. My dad said when he signed the contract they didn't specify that but the dean is being a prick about it. I told her hair tests were expensive and not I or my dad would pay for it. I tested clean today but she didn't take that into consideration. She says I have to get a hair test now but we're kind of at a stand off since my dad's a homie and also doesn't want a hair test. He says it's excessive and completely unnecessary, I concur. My hair is a good 4/5 inches longer than my shoulders and he's pissed they want me to cut it because it took a long ass time for it to grow and for him to actually like my long hair. They need 100 strands of hair and we're just like fuck that I don't snort cocaine or anything so urine tests should do. Although I tested clean today the school still wants to fuck me over.

Sorry for the long post

Sparknotes: tested clean, now need hair test, I say fuck that.

13288989:*Frankie* said:
Tests came back OP is gay
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Hey there Frankie how's it's going;)
 
13289073:BobsTitsAndAss said:
If you actually think that staying up one night is gonna get you to pass a drug test you are a fucking moronic retard. Might consider killing yourself. Actually end your life now.
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I know it sounds stupid but your body does release toxins in its sleep and in the morning your pee is the most contaminated. It's only one night of sleep though it's not a big deal. You fucking shemale- bob's tits and ass? Sorry shemale bob
 
13289256:Al.Capone said:
Sorry for the long post

Sparknotes: tested clean, now need hair test, I say fuck that.

Hey there Frankie how's it's going;)
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Clutch. My parents test me every once in a while but i got some clean piss I just put in there, they have no clue ;)
 
13289263:shane.t said:
Clutch. My parents test me every once in a while but i got some clean piss I just put in there, they have no clue ;)
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Haha hell yeah that's tight, my parents wouldn't even test me. They've found weed twice, over the summer, and last year. They threw it out and gave me a talk but it's mostly because they feel responsible as parents to do that I think, they know I'm not addicted or have used it as a gateway drug or anything. If I was in my twenties with a job and a stable situation I think they wouldn't mind.
 
13289256:Al.Capone said:
They need 100 strands of hair and we're just like fuck that I don't snort cocaine or anything so urine tests should do.
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hair tests can test for reefer too, which is what i'm assuming they want to do
 
13289258:North.West said:
Are you a shitty student at the private school? Are they trying to get a reason to kick you out?
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I'm not completely shit, I mean I handle myself. I'd say I'm around average, got a 23 Act and a 2.85 gpa which would get me in the u of u no problem. I kind of have a record I guess. I bought a stolen sweatshirt freshman year(did not steal but did not rat anyone out, it was from the spirit shop. Sophomore year I got caught cheating and completely turned myself in. That was one time though because I wanted to get a good grade and I don't cheat for tests or quizzes, some hw here and there but everyone does that.
 
13289303:Al.Capone said:
I'm not completely shit, I mean I handle myself. I'd say I'm around average, got a 23 Act and a 2.85 gpa which would get me in the u of u no problem. I kind of have a record I guess. I bought a stolen sweatshirt freshman year(did not steal but did not rat anyone out, it was from the spirit shop. Sophomore year I got caught cheating and completely turned myself in. That was one time though because I wanted to get a good grade and I don't cheat for tests or quizzes, some hw here and there but everyone does that.
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just an average joe trying to make it in america
 
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