Newschoolers... Teach me how to piss in public

Smuffy

Smuffy

Active member
NS it has been a lifelong plague for me. I can do all kinds of dumb shit that takes balls, but for the life of me i CANNOT PEE IN PUBLIC! i have no prob whippin out my dick, but the piss just dont come.

i need some techniques cause it is the worst thing ever to have a clotted up bladder when theres no bathroom or woods around. i mean, my stage right goes drastically down the more beer i drink, but it fuggin SUCKS

hellllllp
 
don't think it can be taught. You will either get over it or it will plague you for the rest of your life.
 
Come back down to toronto and ill teach you smuff. I peed infront of 50+ people on a subway track last week, drunk of course...
 
Once while watching a rail jam I dug a little hole in tthe ground and laid down on the snow and pissed in the hole. Dont know if anybody saw me.
 
[immaturity]

step 1. find a girl

step 2. locate her butt

step 3. insert

step 4. pee in her butt

there is no step 5, you already peed in her butt what more could you want?

[/immaturity]
 
OP - I had the same issue for a long ass time, it just never comes. what I figured out for me is as long i don't feel like theres someone looking at my back im good, so try and keep your back out of sight and just dont be obvioius about it. unless your drunk then you can pee everywhere.

PS - Dont do too much peeing in public, i almost got arrested and marked as a sex offender for peeing in a parking garage
 
My friend had the same problem, shy bladder. Just try and take all focus of your junk and surroundings while relaxing your pelvic muscles. Sort of when you might read on the toilet to relax when pooping, but now for pissing. When you feel it coming, let it out on it's own a bit and only then start pissing with power.
 
slowly count to 5 in your head(seriously it works) nothing when you reach to 5 just count again but makes sure you count nice and slow
 
just wait until you have to pee really bad then if you can't it's like whatever who gives a shit I guess you didn't have to go so bad after all
 
I hear if you get caught, you can be charged with public indecency and have to register as a sex offender for the rest of your life... Any truth to that or what?
 
I think you have to get caught like 3 times. But seriously registering as a sex offender is fucking retarded. Even if you get caught pissing on building at night 50 times, you aren't a fucking rapist
 
Doesn't work if anyones stood right next to you, but blowing on it helps.

.................................and by blowing, i mean air coming from your lungs and out of your mouth.
 
Nope. Not in UT at least. I have a couple friends who have had to register for peeing in public, and one who had to register for sending a pic of tits to a kid he was coaching for football. All so weak.
 
Wow.

The only thing with a charge is the third rail, and you can't piss a solid stream to make contact.

Does no one watch Mythbusters?
 
this.

kinda makes me worried. ive peed in a walmart parking lot multiple times in the middle of the night.

just pee right on the ground, obviously use the car for "blockage"

forsure the riskiest place though was on black friday camping out all night, just took a little walk to the far side of the building. hahaha
 
I just whip it out, scream "I'M A FIRE TRUCK BITCHES!" and then go "WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!" while swinging my piss stream everywhere.

batman-roller-skates-haters-gonna-hate.jpg
 
Eh just add alcohol I took a piss on the main vein of our county rgiht after fourth of july fireworks

regardless probably 50 people saw me piss that night. Also there are some weird picture of my pissing in public on facebook.

LOL WHAT?

 
Owning up to something.... Pissed in a water bottle at an Atmosphere concert 3 days ago in the middle (front rather) of the large crowd. It was so packed and there was no way I was getting out and back to my kickass spot in the front. So when everybody "put their hands up"... mine went down... with a bottle... and I did the deed, dropped it on the ground, and never looked back. Awesome concert b t dubs
 
its because you have years of blocking that action. all your human instincts say no. you need to get in touch with the animal side. animals piss everywhere.
 
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