Near death experiences

JeremyClarkson

JeremyClarkson

Active member
1)

6 months old .i fell off the washing machine. on my head. the careless baby siter just put me there while she was doing her laundry. massive head trauma. barely made it. not as fucked up as my parents thought i would have been =) my parents pressed charges and there was some file screw up on my parents part. so she got off with it.

2)

when i was three i used to love running up and down my house as fast as i could. at one end there was this glass screen door that i would always put my hands out to stop myself. one day i ran right through it. i ended up with a 6 inch shard of glass that went though my wrist and out the other side. i cut the artery so i sffered major blood loss. if the ambulance had arrived a few minutes later i probably wouldnt be typing this.

thats it for me. you?
 
when i was born, something was wrong with me, cant remember what, but I needed surgery and i needed to be a month old to have it. So i was in the hospital for a month, had the surgery, the made a cut on the inside of the right leg and made it. I had a 10% of living.
 
^ sounds like you had it rough.

I was driving down from the ski hill about a year ago and it was super icy. I barely tapped the brake as i was going down this hill. Got going totally sideways in the other lane at about 40mph. If there had been another car in the other lane. Me and my friends who were with me probably would not be here. I brought it under control shortly after.
 
second one is gnarly!
i havent had many near death experiences that i can think of right now. but one time my my girlfriend at the time and i were staying at her family's house in vermont, and we made a fire and were chilling and having a few drinks, then we went and took a shower and when we came out the entire house was filled with smoke. long story short we found the batteries had been taken out of the fire alarm and the flue had been closed, neither of which could have just happened by themself. so someone had come in the house during the shower and done this shit, and we were in the middle of nowhere so that was pretty weird
 
dude same shit happened to me when my buddy was driving us home from our hill. but we ended up going off the road into a ditch, i realized after how much worse it could have been. we were going 45, i was in the passenger seat, and had we had been hit by oncoming traffic i would have been fucked up.
 
yesterday during the snow me and my dad went completely sideways and drifted through a 4-way and it was a redlight and we made it
 
about the same thing as a couple of you have said..... i was going down this hill in the snow and slush, and before i knew it i was sliding at about a 45 degree angle down the road, luckily i pulled out of it. thank god there were no other cars on the road.

then i didnt exactly start life out on a high note. i was born premature, and i wanna say 5-6lbs (really fucking small) and had heart problems. i dont know what the odds were against me, but it was severe enough that after like a month in the hospital when my parents brought me home it was with a heart monitor....
 
I tried to do a backflip off of a very small jump. Landed on my head, and I fucked up my neck pretty bad.
 
1) was bmxing and this car came on the sidewalk and hit me.2)born with spinal spinal meningitis3) almost got kid naped
 
When we used to have a Mini Cooper, one of the first times I drove (with my temps, Dad in the passenger seat). We're driving in the middle lane, and a big Semi comes up in the right lane and trys to get over not seeing me. Being the rookie driver I was, I slam on the breaks and crank the wheel left barely missing another car in the fast lane and almost being rear ended by a car behind me.

Needless to say, my dad drove home.
 
When I was around 9 or 10 I was building a treehouse, which was about 10 ft off the ground, and the tree was surrounded by a rock bed, so no soft landings. There was this big, dead branch, sticking out from the floor of my treehouse. The floor was basically just thick branches intertwined, so I started cutting away at it with a hand-saw. The branch was really thick so i got around 3/4 of the way and then I just stood up and tugged at it for it to break, (yeah, retarded..) and when it gave way I fell backward, but thankfully one of my legs fell into a gap in the floor and jammed there which left me dangling down with nothing but my foot stuck between two branches from keeping me from falling headfirst onto the rocks right below.
 
well.. the most recent one, i was crossing the street, in a crosswalk and got creamed by a taxi, rolled up on the hood smashed the window.
(i know this is stupid so don't bother bitching about it)several years ago I used to hop trains. It was quick to get across town and hop out to the beach etc.. so I had this chic friend whom would join me in fun random things we would do all the time when we would hang out. so one day she came with me on one, fun time no problems we were nearing the edge of town and I told her i was just gona check the speed, so i climbed down the ladder and tapped my foot to the ground as i was climbing back up i saw her scream (she thought i was jumping off) and then next thin i know, there she goes.... I had literally half a second to react, so i jumped as well, thinking to myself im not letting my friend risk getting severely hurt alone.So i jumped aswell. hitting the ground, flipping and smashing my face head shoulder wrist etc.. i luckily was not knocked out. i got up asap, ran over to her, both her wrists were broken CLEARLY being kinked in NON-normal directions, and she was knocked out with her head resting on the opposite tracks. with another train coming our direction.i picked her up and scurried off the tracks to a near by road. as i was dialing 911 while holding her on my lap, trying to revive here etc.. i couldnt get the number right as my fingers were slipping and hitting the wrong numbers by a combination of my hands shaking and blood pouring from my head/face onto my phone...
 
we were on a family vacation when i was three for my grandparents 50th annaverssary in the Brittish Virgin Islands and my mom was supposed to be watching me play in the ocean but she got side tracked talking to my aunt and my dad went over to her looking for me and i was no where in sight. We were in a bay so the water was really calm. but i was found completly submerbed under water and my dad saved me. =)
 
oh, another one. when i was uber little, i was in my pool in some floating toy thinger but i was just a little to big for it. it flipped upside down and i was stuck and couldnt get out. i went near the edge of the pool and tried grabbing at it to turn over so i could breathe and i couldnt grab it and almost drown. my whole family was over aswell and no one saw the whole time, then finally someone came over and helped and i was pissed off at everyone because no one came sooner to help me.
 
i wrote this in a similar thread on TGR:so a couple years i was down in guatemala, bumming around backpacking with a buddy. we went to an area called semuc champey. if you have ever been to havisupai canyon, it was kind of like that. waterfalls, terraced pools, cool blue water. gorgeous area. and in the middle of absolute jungle bumble fuck. our lodge had no electricity after dark, we saw a spider bigger than your hand. we were out in the boonies, way out on a dirt road, no major towns or hospitals or ANYTHING nearby.
so we're out checking out the falls and everything (think it was a national park maybe?). hot jungle day, so of course we're getting some swimming in. there was one area where to the left there was a waterfall, and then the river continued on to the right, apparently down some gnarly rapids, though i didn't notice. i decided to try to swim to the waterfall. while doing so, my sandal velcro started to come undone (curse you teva!!!!!!!). so, while only half paying attention to where i'm swimming, i'm reaching down trying to fuck with my sandal. i start to notice the current getting stronger, pulling me towards the start of the rapids. so i say fuck the sandal, start trying to swim as hard as i can back to shore. but its too late. i'm going for a ride. i finally turn around and look downstream for the first time, and probably shit myself there and then. im being swept right down into the white frothing maw of a SCARY section of violent whitewater. i hear my friend yell "NATE!!!!!!!!!" and then i'm taken under. i go into full fight mode. manage to push off the bottom, get one good breath of air, see more rapids, huge rocks in the river, then get sucked under again. and then i almost died. it felt like i was in a washing machine, had no idea which way was up, was getting absolutely SLAMMED against the bottom of the river and the huge boulders. eventually, the spinning around head over heel stopped, i could see the surface of the river, cold blue light streaming down, but i was still being held under. this was probably coming up on two minutes underwater. i was pushing off the river bed, swimming as hard as i possibly could, but the river would not give me up. at this point- and in retrospect, this was the scariest part of the whole ordeal- i realized that i was going to die. i had exhausted myself working as hard as i could to get above the surface, but couldnt do it. i gave up, said a prayer, and prepared to give up the ghost. ten seconds later, i popped up and with the last bit of strength i had, swam to the shore and collapsed. my friend ran down in a panic. "oh my god, i thought you were dead the second you went under." ended up bruised all over, could hardly walk for several days, pretty sure i fractured a rib. it was terrifying. i still have flashbacks if i'm underwater in a pool or anything
 
So basically this is how it happened. It was the last run of the day, and all i wanted to was cruise down a green run, go home and nap. But the man in the clouds had other things in mind. I was persueded by my friends to go through the park. Fine. I could slide some rails, and than go in. However, for some insane reason i found myself looking down the big jump line. Fuck, i had never even gone off the first jump, but fuck it, i was hitting the entire line, and i was doing it now. the first jump went suprisingly well, i landed and went for the next one. I waayyyyy overshot it and from the moment i landed, in knew i was fucked. My friends must have landed, becuase before i knew it, i was in the hospital. I blacked out for 30 mins periods. My mothers face was the worse, from the moment she came i, she said to me, you're moving in with your auntie and uncle in bellair.
 
ahhhhhhh got me there

i was born with a really soft neck (dont know what its called..), so i had to be stood up all the time.. laying down was out of the question because i wouldnt be able to breathe, so i had to be held straight up all the time/ sleep sitting up. it would have sucked for me if i had actually known what was going on at that point in time, haha.

also, i had extremely bad asthma when i was a kid and had many many many visits to the hospital because my mom thought i was dead

oh and also, i had meningitis two years ago.. for about a month
 
When me and my family were moving into our new house and i was about 6 years old, I went down to the laundry room and realized the washing machine was unplugged. I decided to plug in the cord and it turned out that the plug was not grounded properly and i got electrocuted really bad.
 
1) When I was 3 my parents were building a new house and we went to go look at it, one of th workers left the ladder up to the roof 2 stories up putting on gutters, i climbed up and the latter fell left me hanging 2 stories off the ground, fell and luckily my dad laid out to catch me.

2) 12 years old my appendix ruptered and i spent 5 hours vomiting from the poison leaking into my body, babysitter finally called my parents and my mom got me to the hospital with about 2 hours to spare.

One of my best friends takes the cake though, 4 years ago in Iraq with 3/7 marine charlie suicide, suitin up for a patrol, insurgent takes an RPG from about a mile away, shoots it up at a 45 degree angle and it land 5 feet from my friend, killed the two guys next to him and severed his femoral artery and messed him up pretty good.... thank god for an excellent corpsman.
 
well while mtbing, i went downhil from our hill, which is the ski resort in winter. there are normally a few construction sites up there, so there are a lot of trucks around. its even an asphalt road to make it easier for the trucks to reach the top.

so as i went downhill, not too fast since there ARE a lot of trucks around. after a sharp turn, there was one of these 20-ton-things coming uphill. it was too close for just breakin, so i just tried to leave the road to the uphill side, so it would stop me anyways. but just beneath the road, theres a small asphalted groove that is supposed to drain off the water. there were kinda big blocks (big in relation to riding over them on a mtb) in it.

so bottom line, as i went into this rocks (while the truck was only like 10 ft downhill from me still not breaking) my front wheel just slipped because of the speed and the size of the rocks. so it was kinda a 50/50 chance to either fall right into a 20-ton-truck or into a smooth green meadow. well since i am writing this, i guess i got a lucky one.

i remember that i didnt care too much right after it, but a few hours later, it kinda shook me.
 
minor flesh deisease in my ear. i had idmeatate surgery. i was in intenstive care for a week. best week ever
 
woah woah waohexplain number 3shit sounds intense

as for me, no real near death experiencesother than if i was allergic to bees, id be uber deadwhen i was like 6 at my grandparents in deep cove, north vancouver, i stepped on a MASSIVE wasp nest, got like 200 stings, it blowed chunks
 
last summer me and a few of my friends were knee boarding (for those of you who dont know its like wake boarding exept older less intence and your on your knees) any way we were going way to fast and i hit a mega patch of sea weed lunching me into the water so hard it broke the plastic straps on my life jacket so i dove about 12 feet down im geussing befor i canswim to the surface as i am about to get to the surface so drunkss dude come right uver in his speed boat hiting me in the head with the hull cutting me wide open amazing that i stayeconces i think and to mak maters worse i got to ss the spining prop ohis boat in my face naraly missing me the guy drov off ot even looking back we whould of chased him but i had alot f bleding and i was dilirius so we went to the shore and called the amblence the doc who put 15 sticis in my dome and 10 and 6 in each had sad int amazing i sevived ... sounds crazy but its true
 
when i was born i had meconium aspiration. basically I inhaled my own shit in the womb, and it was doing damage to my lungs. the doctors in a last effort put me on this machine called ECMO(Extra Corporal Membrane Oxygen), and slowly but surely I got better. I got out of the hospital a month later and have come a long way.

also at three i had an RSV virus, but defeated the nasty sucker, and survived.
 
sorry dude, but HAHAHAH you ate your own shit in the womb? that sucks balls, but is kinda funny in a fucked up way
 
my house burned down when i was three. My cat was the only casualty, no one else was home, luckly. I think i still would have gotten out alive though, and the house probably wouldnt have burned down if we we're home since it started from the dryer in my basement and it could have been easily stopped i guess.
 
When I was 5 our family was holidaying in Magnetic Island and I was just playing at this mango field when suddenly I fell over in a pile of leaves. Long sotry short I fell on top of a death adder snake and it bit me. Because it was a little island they had no antivenom so we had to catch a ferry back to the main land we got on the ferry with an ambulance waiting at the other side. The ferry was delayed due to some probelm then we went for the 30min Ferry Ride when we got to the other side there was no ambulance, we had to wait 30 mins for an ambulance and finally 1.5 hours later we arrived at the hospital. I was in Intensive care all night with people dying around me waiting for the venom to work. Remembering Death Adder venom can kill in 45 mins and DeathAdder Snakes are the 9th Deadliest in the world. Because I fell on top of the Death Adder it didn't venomate very much otherwise I would certainly be dead.
 
Theres this road that goes by the quarry in our town thats all dirt. We use it as a back road to the mall and my friends house to beat the traffic. At the end theres this long hill with a steep turn at the end, and about a 20-30 foot ravine on both sides. Me and my friend were bombing down the top of the road going about 60-65 in my red silverado, and we are coming up to the turn when we see another truck come barrelling through the turn easily doing about 80. This bitch was taking up the middle of the road and his back end starting sliding through the turn as he came at us. At that point i moved over and was skirting the edge of the road until this fucker passed me and knocked my mirror off as well as putting a scratch down the entire side of my truck from his mirror. We came about 6 inches from ending up in a ditch. But i was pretty shaken up after that. The asshole never stopped either, just kept on driving.
 
I was a lil kid and my mom was in the check out line and I was looking at cookies. So this dude comes up and grabs me, the manager of the store saw it and was like wtf and stoped the dude
 
once when i first got my licesne and was real dumb we were drifting on this road at like 60 and it was athis sketch dirt road but i new it real good so we do like 5-6 passes and sall good then i push it a little to hard the last turn and slid out if another car was coming wouda been fucked luckyl ther wasnt slide out into the side through like a 3 ft dirt mound thought i was gunna flip stopped literally 4 inches before a tree which woulda killed me since it was right at my door coudnt even get out to see so i had to bca out. luckly no damage, no injuries.
 
Just in december after a sick day of skiing I was skateboarding over to a friends house and was hit by a car going probably 30 mph. I was knocked unconscious for about 2 minutes and the bitch had fled the scene, probably the luckiest thing ever my older sister was dropping people off at a party across the street and her friend (wnab21's brother) came over to me. I was taken to the hospital by my sister with a level 3 concussion, internal bleeding in my brain, and mad blood loss from my hand. If my sister wasnt there at the time I would have been dead in a matter of minutes. So remember kids wear your helmet.
 
when i was about 8 i was at a water park and decided to see what made the waves at the end of the wave pool. I got pretty far in then realized i wasnt a good enough swimmer to get back. I ended up starting to have waves push me under. Finally after i was down for a while my dad caught up to me and pulled me out. I was coughin out water for a few minutes after that
 
Fell off a 6 foot cliff onto gravel when i was in a baby stroller at age 2 and didnt receive a single cut/bruise/break/claim
 
k so this story occured when i was about 4 or 5, not much but it got the adrenaline goin. So with my house, we have a big drive way and to the left are a bunch of bushes/ shrubs and between that and that garage and drive way is a slim slot that leads to a bunch of rocks which eventually lead to the backyard. So when i was a young lad, i was riding my bike. Now it was one of those bikes that you pressed the pedal back to brake. Anyways, i was speeding down this big hill and i hear this big clank, looking behind me wildly, i see the chain to my bike fall to the ground. Not knowing what to do and feeling a bit scared, i couldnt do much but keep flying down the hill at a high rate of speed. WHen i got further down the road, i car comes up behind me and i see one infront of me so i had to act quick. I zoomed straight through that slim gap and everything felt like it was in slow motion, i launched off the pad and flew above the rocks ( keep in mind i was not wearing a helmet, i was a stupid fucker.) I wizzed through the air and was like "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIT" and landed on the rocks, my tires got stuck between some boulders and i flew forward, head first into the quarry. I dont really rememebr what happend next, but i woke up on my couch with a huge ass lump on the side of my head. I knocked my head up so bad i coulda messed up my memory forever and have abnesia. shit sucked. sorry for my meaningless rant.

 
only one i got is
one day i was driving around with this kid, he was driving adn he had an old piece of shit saturn. he likes to pull his ebrake around corners to be a douche bag.
so we are crusin and he takes this right hand turn at like 35-40 rips his ebrake, we end up sliding into the otherside of the road into some dudes lawn, HUGE dirt patches torn up like 6inches- afoot deep. no traction at all, all of a sudden we get traction and swing back onto the road.
if we didnt get back to the road we woulda nailed a big ass oak tree like 3 feet in diameter. my side wouolda hit it head on id be dead or severley hurt.
luckly i try not to drive with him anymore a hes an asshole driver and does shit like that way too often.
 
a couple years ago my ski team was driving home from Sun Vally. it was almost 330 in the morning and blizzarding outside. black ice+loud crazy kids in an over packed van+crazy techno music=van spinning out of control going 60 mph. ended up stuck in a ditch, had to dig ourselves out.

scary
 
born with fluids in my lung, but the doctors rushed me to oxygen tank facility and made it out fine
 
When I was four took codine and my stomach tightened up and I couldnt breath got rushed to the hospital. Now I cant take codine unfortunately.

I went in my friends car who was drunk and driving retardedly almost swerved off the road about 10 times.

Once the drugs are done I feel like dying and I feel like buying.
 
i almost died at birth. i came out feet first, and the umbilical cord was wrapped about my neck. the doctors told my mom that there had been 5 births like that during that same year, and 3 of them died, the rest were i think slightly handicap. i was supposed to be mentally handicapped :(, but im not
 
a real near death expirience is when you die and go to heavan and meet god and he sends you back into your body. read "saved by the light" by dannion brinkley. shit is crazy
 
i was 11, we were going 80 on the highway when an 18 wheeler FELL ASLEEP and drifted into our lane. he hit us, we spun, cruise control kicked in and we hit collided with him a second time before skidding off the road. I slept through the whole thing and the roof was crushed where my head would be had i been awake.
 
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