nasty ass farts

bitchassphatz

bitchassphatz

Active member
i hate when i have the stink bombs going....but sometimes the bad smell actually smells good, what's up with that....in fact msot times my bad stinks smell good to me, i love it. i jsut sit there with my nose in my lap and suck it all up.....mm mm

[ Slug ]

You look like you were built for me; You talk like you want to steal my drink

You kiss like you already came; And that's a lift to pull a line for those with out any game

It's like damn baby; You know you can't save me

But you should still tell your people that your leaving with the band; Maybe you can show me your hustle

Neither one of us would be so lonely; If only you would come over here and hold me

I caught you trying to hide your smile behind your glass; But all of your secrets become a swing set when you laugh

And all of your regrets that you're carrying a burying; Don't mean a damn thing if there's nobody to share them with

We've been following each other all night now; We ought to be all over each other like right now

I don't like crowds lets take flight now; Cause that face that you make

Reminds me of my life now.

reppin' 720.30.3970 playa
 
ooo i jsut had another one.....mmm mmm

[ Slug ]

You look like you were built for me; You talk like you want to steal my drink

You kiss like you already came; And that's a lift to pull a line for those with out any game

It's like damn baby; You know you can't save me

But you should still tell your people that your leaving with the band; Maybe you can show me your hustle

Neither one of us would be so lonely; If only you would come over here and hold me

I caught you trying to hide your smile behind your glass; But all of your secrets become a swing set when you laugh

And all of your regrets that you're carrying a burying; Don't mean a damn thing if there's nobody to share them with

We've been following each other all night now; We ought to be all over each other like right now

I don't like crowds lets take flight now; Cause that face that you make

Reminds me of my life now.

reppin' 720.30.3970 playa
 
Quite the paradox a fart is. As much as people bitch about the smell of farts, everyone really loves it.

better to burn out...

...then fade away
 
its funny when its real loud. i remember on the way home from mt snow. holy shit. acid berps and farts. right dan.

(zach)
 
i cleared out a car on I-70 in a blizzard.....we had to pull over, i was 11 and to this day it hold the record in my family....my sister is a close 2nd, with her nasty vegean diet....::gag::

[ Slug ]

You look like you were built for me; You talk like you want to steal my drink

You kiss like you already came; And that's a lift to pull a line for those with out any game

It's like damn baby; You know you can't save me

But you should still tell your people that your leaving with the band; Maybe you can show me your hustle

Neither one of us would be so lonely; If only you would come over here and hold me

I caught you trying to hide your smile behind your glass; But all of your secrets become a swing set when you laugh

And all of your regrets that you're carrying a burying; Don't mean a damn thing if there's nobody to share them with

We've been following each other all night now; We ought to be all over each other like right now

I don't like crowds lets take flight now; Cause that face that you make

Reminds me of my life now.

reppin' 720.30.3970 playa
 
haha, those vegeans always know how to make farts worth while

Take me to your special place

Close your eyes, show me your face.....I'm gonna piss on it

 
clearing out a car is alright, but try clearing out a bus full of grade 8 kids on my toronto trip, man that was the worst fart that i ever let go and ill never forget the kids running out covering their noses along with the teachers

'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
 
haha, hjoly shit, that is fucking amazing.

just to back up my gold medal.....the car was filled with some burley men, they had a damn good talorence to stinky things.....i was so proud. so was my dad, he tells the story all the time....i lvoe it.

[ Slug ]

You look like you were built for me; You talk like you want to steal my drink

You kiss like you already came; And that's a lift to pull a line for those with out any game

It's like damn baby; You know you can't save me

But you should still tell your people that your leaving with the band; Maybe you can show me your hustle

Neither one of us would be so lonely; If only you would come over here and hold me

I caught you trying to hide your smile behind your glass; But all of your secrets become a swing set when you laugh

And all of your regrets that you're carrying a burying; Don't mean a damn thing if there's nobody to share them with

We've been following each other all night now; We ought to be all over each other like right now

I don't like crowds lets take flight now; Cause that face that you make

Reminds me of my life now.

reppin' 720.30.3970 playa
 
hahaha, i got kicked out of study hall for rippin farts on this hilarious little fat kid. she sent me to the bathroom, and we got into this big fight because i was just farting and how i didnt need to shit. it was hilarious. but my brother is nasty. whenever we get in the car he rips um. weve come close to pullin the car over.

I.L.I.A.G.A CREW!

I drink pepto bismal like its water.. -PJO
 
in second grade i got kicked out of reading time cuz i kept farting......it was pretty embarassing....in front of all the girls and everything. i was so fuckin mad they made me leave for some reason, it's not like i enjoyed reading.

[ Slug ]

You look like you were built for me; You talk like you want to steal my drink

You kiss like you already came; And that's a lift to pull a line for those with out any game

It's like damn baby; You know you can't save me

But you should still tell your people that your leaving with the band; Maybe you can show me your hustle

Neither one of us would be so lonely; If only you would come over here and hold me

I caught you trying to hide your smile behind your glass; But all of your secrets become a swing set when you laugh

And all of your regrets that you're carrying a burying; Don't mean a damn thing if there's nobody to share them with

We've been following each other all night now; We ought to be all over each other like right now

I don't like crowds lets take flight now; Cause that face that you make

Reminds me of my life now.

reppin' 720.30.3970 playa
 
this thread stinks ahah

'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
 
this summer my liver got distroyed and i had fart wars with my dad i cant beleive i'm saying this but i acctually had way to much alcohol

-ESL works wonders, just not for me-

 
hahahaahahaha.....no way, you shat all over your pants, that's classic man

[ Slug ]

You look like you were built for me; You talk like you want to steal my drink

You kiss like you already came; And that's a lift to pull a line for those with out any game

It's like damn baby; You know you can't save me

But you should still tell your people that your leaving with the band; Maybe you can show me your hustle

Neither one of us would be so lonely; If only you would come over here and hold me

I caught you trying to hide your smile behind your glass; But all of your secrets become a swing set when you laugh

And all of your regrets that you're carrying a burying; Don't mean a damn thing if there's nobody to share them with

We've been following each other all night now; We ought to be all over each other like right now

I don't like crowds lets take flight now; Cause that face that you make

Reminds me of my life now.

reppin' 720.30.3970 playa
 
oh that reminds me, one time i was going to a talent show or some shit in high school and i thought i had to fart a really loud one....well no it was something else, i was like 'dad drop me off back at home i'll walk....' he was like 'no' so i had to clean up at the school, good thing it wasn't anything serious. however i thought i was doomed before i went into the bathroom

[ Slug ]

You look like you were built for me; You talk like you want to steal my drink

You kiss like you already came; And that's a lift to pull a line for those with out any game

It's like damn baby; You know you can't save me

But you should still tell your people that your leaving with the band; Maybe you can show me your hustle

Neither one of us would be so lonely; If only you would come over here and hold me

I caught you trying to hide your smile behind your glass; But all of your secrets become a swing set when you laugh

And all of your regrets that you're carrying a burying; Don't mean a damn thing if there's nobody to share them with

We've been following each other all night now; We ought to be all over each other like right now

I don't like crowds lets take flight now; Cause that face that you make

Reminds me of my life now.

reppin' 720.30.3970 playa
 
hahahaha!!

One time my friend was in the shower, and he had to fart. and He heard somewhere that you could cup your fart. So He put his hand over his butt and let it rip. Then right after he smelled his hand, and it smelled like Fresh Poo. He said right after he sniffed his hand, he Barfed in the shower...

It's something about when you fart, you're actually letting pieces of poo fly out. Very interesting...

Someone else should try cupping their fart and sniffing their hand right after.

-----------------------

WEEE I'm Special, I live Under the Bridge!!
 
dude you're story might have jsut wrecked this thread jumbo.....

oh yea this one time some kid was like 'i dare you to shit in the tennis court trash cans' so i was like 'ok, i gotta go anyway'. i didn't realize that i was going to have a nasty shit. however i did, it fuckin like ran down my leg man, it was the worst thing i have ever done. i smelt like shit so bad. i'm surprised my frineds didn't jsut lend me a pair of pants. but none the less, it was a funny day. i did shit in the trash can, also on my leg and shit.....uh i wish i didn't remember that one.

[ Slug ]

You look like you were built for me; You talk like you want to steal my drink

You kiss like you already came; And that's a lift to pull a line for those with out any game

It's like damn baby; You know you can't save me

But you should still tell your people that your leaving with the band; Maybe you can show me your hustle

Neither one of us would be so lonely; If only you would come over here and hold me

I caught you trying to hide your smile behind your glass; But all of your secrets become a swing set when you laugh

And all of your regrets that you're carrying a burying; Don't mean a damn thing if there's nobody to share them with

We've been following each other all night now; We ought to be all over each other like right now

I don't like crowds lets take flight now; Cause that face that you make

Reminds me of my life now.

reppin' 720.30.3970 playa
 
Man shower farts are bad....they're all moist and warm. But beer farts are the worst. We were partying at my friends cabin, and my fatt ass friend was just letting them go left and right. Everyone had to go outside for like 30 minutes because the smell woulbnt clear out.

Check Out Surface Skis!
 
My friend cleared out a moderate size room we were having a dance in at ski camp. I was just standing there and all of a sudden a poisoness gas hits my nose and I walk out along with 20 other people. Turns out he just farted.

patj
 
^ word

I almost broke my penis once, i fell down my gfs stairs naked and with a boner, i was never so scared in my life - Lateralis

I have nothing, I dont save anything from ns, i have mostly porn on my comp tho- Lateralis

If I was a fat black chick, id live in a zoo- Lateralis

Hi, My name is Matt and I'm a postaholic

 
Some times if you try to fart really hard and push with all your might, you bust out some crap at super speeds and it launches straight through your undiewares and straight to your shoes.

MMM FRYING CHICKEN, SIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZLE
 
It's like in the third Austin Powers man, 'everyone loves their own brand'

'Rufus, Brent, and Micus were like brothers to me, and when I say brothers I don't mean like an actual brother, but I mean it like black people mean it, which is more meaningful I think'
 
kinda rude but

when i was younger i could clear a whole room of people with my fart

and i was like 5 or 6 years old
 
I've cleared rooms before, I sort of caused someone to jump off the houseboat this past weekend too because of a fart..I thought it was funny
 
haha i don't mind that, but when you know they're pooping...that's confusing, it's not supposed to happen
 
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