My friends ass made me 1 inch shorter

[mikem]

so we just got done skiing some super sick pow at Alta. and we traversing out to the road and I'm like just staring at my pants thinking how baggy and swaggy and cool I am. I round this corner and glance up briefly and there it was. A pile up on the traverse. Two dudes just stuck. I start to panic, but I couldn't turn, my friend's ass was just staring me down, pulling me in like a tractor beam.

I begin to brace for impact. In slow motion my hands move up to protect my head, it was too late. I hit his ass straight dome first. Let me tell you it was not soft. No this guys behind is a Volkl revolt 114. It was ready to absorb any impact, I was that impact. shit was stiff as a board.

I feel the reverberations all the way down to my boots, next thing I know, I'm sitting there, goggles under my chin, in pain. I sat there for 5 mins just headache, neck ache and my mouth hurt. I feel like my neck is compressed into my body.

I ski traverse out, spit up blood.

 

[iDontHitRails]

MikeM ate my ass at snowbird!

 

[BokChoyTele420]

Ski fast eat ass!

 

[nCrow]

This well written. 10/10 would read more

so we just got done skiing some super sick pow at Alta. and we traversing out to the road and I'm like just staring at my pants thinking how baggy and swaggy and cool I am. I round this corner and glance up briefly and there it was. A pile up on the traverse. Two dudes just stuck. I start to panic, but I couldn't turn, my friend's ass was just staring me down, pulling me in like a tractor beam.

I begin to brace for impact. In slow motion my hands move up to protect my head, it was too late. I hit his ass straight dome first. Let me tell you it was not soft. No this guys behind is a Volkl revolt 114. It was ready to absorb any impact, I was that impact. shit was stiff as a board.

I feel the reverberations all the way down to my boots, next thing I know, I'm sitting there, goggles under my chin, in pain. I sat there for 5 mins just headache, neck ache and my mouth hurt. I feel like my neck is compressed into my body.

I ski traverse out, spit up blood.

 

[TreeJam]

What kind of pants?

 

[partyandBS]

homie probably thought it was just his pivots and didn’t even look back to see what violated him

 

[Lemuel]

this guys behind is a Volkl revolt 114. It was ready to absorb any impact, I was that impact. shit was stiff as a board

Sounds more like you absorbed the impact, not your buddy’s huge dumper

 

[Evancantspin]

You gonna through this up on urban dictionary or nah

 

[bennwithtwons]

The world is a better place for this story having been told

 

[SofaKingSick]

what color are the pants

 

[tomfoolery]

This well written. 10/10 would read more

was on the shorter side

 

[mikem]

What kind of pants?

what color are the pants

green arsenic big strides.

they are now even baggier because I am shorter

 

[Paul.]

Im confused. How did you get into a position where your head is on the same level as his ass? Kinda sounds like you leaned into it

 

[hi_vis360]

Im confused. How did you get into a position where your head is on the same level as his ass? Kinda sounds like you leaned into it

He was sucking himself off through the big strides did you even read the story??

 

[mikem]

He was sucking himself off through the big strides did you even read the story??

I’ll have you know. I’m baggy and swaggy. And now short.

Short kings for life bro