Most embarrassing moment on the slopes.

jib_roni

jib_roni

Member
This one time I was peeing behind a ski gun. Had a fart coming on, so I went to push it out while peeing. Needless to say, I stopped immediately when I realized it wasn't. Skied to the lodge, and plugged up a stall with my soiled undies. The struggle was real that day. GO.
 
holy crap!!

Well, I was skiing with all of the best people at my resorts a while back, and i went to hit a smallish ranbow rail and then somehow my pole got stuck on the jump and I tacoed the whole rail. I have never skied with poles ever since.
 
The ski shop let me in the back to work on my skis and i had my ski boots on and they were wet missed the rug and slipped
 
I was skiing down one of our hills that isn't even steep spinning on the ground, caught an edge and fell over kind of gently. Didn't think I was hurt till a couple runs later when I couldn't lift the bar. Turned out I broke my collar bone on the lamest fall ever.
 
I once got a case of the right-nows about 2/3rds of the way down high nowhere bowl in crested butte. high nowhere bowl is hike-out so there were no restroom facilities for me to clench it and bomb to. high nowhere bowl is also a steeper than fuck double black.

I had to jump into a patch of trees, kick my skis off (they then tumbled down a few meters), dig a lil hole, put my feet on a tree and grab on to it, then drop my pants and shit my brains out for a minute or two. I hoped no one would ski passed, but three people did.

I then wiped my ass with a few pine branches and proceeded to get all my stuff back together.
 
13782823:TheDoughAbides said:
I then wiped my ass with a few pine branches and proceeded to get all my stuff back together.
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Haha damn that sounds super rough...

First instance that comes to mind for me was on a regular park crew day at my home resort. It was probably like my 8th day in a row riding, that was usually the case between working and playing out there. After that many days in a row you things tend to get kinda stale in the midwest.. Going through the motions hitting the park features I just opened and raked out, I went mac 3 into the last feature in our main park, which at the time was just an urban on 22' down box. Came out of the last foot or so, kinda shifty-ed, kinda just stayed at 90 haha. Totally just slept on it and came down sideways so hard that I left a defined imprint in the firm midwest snow. Knocked the wind out of myself, and to add insult to injury one of my skis had a broken brake, so it continued down the hill to the lodge....

I skied down to the lodge on one ski, ribs / hip sore as fuck and decided to just limp around on groomers the rest of the day. I'm glad that it was still the a.m hours so there wasn't a lot of people out yet.
 
Tried hitting a down rail during my school's race practice, caught an edge and ate shit really hard.
 
Within 30 seconds aired off this sick wind lip through the tree's, then aired off the cat track below it. Then as I was cruising in to the lift line, fucking detonated on a little bump, and pretty much yard sailed.
 
I've double ejected from trying to stand on the tips of my skis.. multiple times. Right onto my stomach. My dins are too low

One time at hood my helmet fell off on the lift because it wasn't buckled.

I also lost my phone one time because it fell out of my pocket. I dont know why I thought it was a good Idea to put it in a pocket without a zipper but I did... 30 stressful minutes later I found it buried in some snow between two jumps in public park.
 
Pretty much every time i try to ski park, do flips or hit rails. So like every day.
 
Tried to switch tail butter a knuckle; front ski caught sideways, popped off cause i didnt get high enough in the air during the butter and leg pivoted out of my binding, bent my brake so bad i couldnt put my ski on and my shoulder went numb and i thought i dislocated it. That was in front of 2 team groups at my hill and a couple co workers... Fuck
 
The thrill of skiing straight down the hill. The snow flying off my skis. Thinking about how impressed my mom was of my mad skills. Dub tips to death. 6 year old me was less than impressed with skiing.

Not going to win any awards but first skiing memory I think.
 
so I was heading up to the park, and it was bright as day. I went to hit one of the new kickers they build a few days ago, and there was an orange pole in the middle of the jump that I didnt see. I got totally fucked.
 
With a group of kids that was trying to learn to ski so we were taking some laps in the beginner area. Second run and I got excited when i saw they had some small features in it, figured I could have some fun while everyones trying to learn to turn, and i caught an edge on the flat down box and buried my shoulder into some ice. Separated shoulder.
 
Didn't know the speed for a jump that was a lot bigger than I thought it was and tried to backflip it going way too slow. Tip flipped super hard and about 50 people on the lift saw it.
 
Last year I slid a dumb super sticky box that was like a foot off the ground, and my front ski completely stopped. Did a super man on to straight ice and dislocated my right shoulder. Then this year I didn't set up right on a jump and flailed my arms, ended up partially dislocating my right shoulder from just flailing it. 2 weeks later my arm was feeling fine and I kind of forgot about it and ended up falling doing a switch up, partially dislocating it AGAIN. Literally the next day I went fucking skiing (im an complete idiot), did a nose butter 3 going pretty fast, caught my right edge in slush, slammed into the ground and fully dislocated it hurting it for the 4th time. Now its been about 2 and a half weeks and my shoulder still feels pretty fucked because I'm a RETARD and never got it checked or did any PT on it. Gonna see a doctor in a week, hopefully I'm not fucked.
 
When I was first starting to learn how to ski park, one of my buddies was trying to show me how to nollie in the lift line since the chair got stopped. Not realizing that my dins were at like -3 I went for a nollie in the line and double ejected and face planted into the ground.
 
I broke my thumb in 3 places, nuked the ligament and more or less fucked my december up by trying to ski onto a rock with less snow than expected.
 
Tried to jump from a groomer to a side trail they had just finished blowing snow onto. The new stuff was super sticky. My skis stopped and I double ejected and superman'd for about 15 feet. Thankfully the landing was soft. My friends thought it was the funniest thing ever.
 
Hit a kicker in the park wayyy too hard. Landed on the flat, skis stopped, forward momentum ripped me out of my bindings, and I scorpioned myself in the back of the head with both feet. Me and both guys sitting next to the landing couldn't stop laughing at my dumb ass. Skiied to the lift and realized my right arm and shoulder were toast, partial dislocation and some tissue/ligament damage.
 
So here I am at my local hill feelin steezy as hell w this brand new saga jacket. Figure imma take the lift to the top so I can get the nice jump line goin (my hill has all the jumps up top and rails are at the base). So I take the lift to the top and as I push off I realize the goddamn hood was stuck on the chair, so my dumbass goes all the way around to the exit of the lift and I'm here hanging a solid 3-4 feet above the ground. Lift operator laughing his ass off and I'm feeling like a total jerry
 
Definitely when I went to gap a deep stream next to a chairlift a mach 12 while training a group, coming way short and landing directly at the bottom of the stream with the chairlift directly above it.
 
2nd most embarrassing moment:

I was pumping through some flat and easy trees (hi-lo trees) on a crusty day at mary jane when a group of lil kids with their parents cut into the line I wanted to take (not mad about it, hi lo trees are really a place for beginners to get comfortable w/tree skiing, ie a place I shouldn't have been playing speed demon).

I cut left to stay well and clear of them but soon after caught one of my skis in a divot that I didn't see. Next thing I knew my ski flew off behind me and then I tomahawked semi out of control and right for a tree.

I did everything I could to slow myself down and not hit it with my face and managed to make contact with the tree w/o getting seriously injured. As I collected myself, the same group of kids skied right past me, each one pointing out my fantastic half-yard sale to the kid behind him/her.

Felt like a pretty big goober that time.
 
Tonight OP was raking a box and I decided it was a good idea to boot slide it. I ended up getting halfway and slipping out on my hip and bouncing off and onto the snow. It was lit.
 
Once was trying to show off under the chairlift and ended up eating shit. I doubled eject and got some heckles from the chairs. It was funny though...
 
I was at this race for my school steezin with my baggy gear. I decide to try and bunch bounce this fallen over tree limb. I end up leaning to far froward and i dub eject in front of 90 racers. Felt like the biggest punter ever.
 
I was trying to impress another instructor who was going with the kid pretty close by, I tried to 270 onto a down rail, Ate shit and the instructor and the kid were both laughing at me, My worst moment
 
13782944:Mingg said:
Pretty much every time i try to ski park, do flips or hit rails. So like every day.
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Haha this, anytime I ski park I spend the first three quarters of the day looking like a complete newb before I get my shit together and start landing tricks
 
13784363:Mingg said:
Tonight OP was raking a box and I decided it was a good idea to boot slide it. I ended up getting halfway and slipping out on my hip and bouncing off and onto the snow. It was lit.
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Yesterday I was in the lift line with OP once again and he stepped on my heels and pushed me forward and I totally face planted in a crowded lift line. It was pretty hilarious. But the funniest part was the ticket checker, who took her job far too seriously, yelled at ME because "it's not a good time to be messing around." Lol sorry not sorry. 10/10 would do again.
 
Skied today with dad and brother. We were hitting a liftline with a few nice cliffs. My dad sent it and landed backseat, dragging his left arm and dislocating it. He sat there screaming for like 30 seconds under the lift, with 3 guys waiting at the top waiting to hit the cliff. He popped off both his skis and pushed his shoulder into the ground and popped his shouder back in, then managed to ski the rest of the run with no problems.
 
13782817:SkianP said:
I was skiing down one of our hills that isn't even steep spinning on the ground, caught an edge and fell over kind of gently. Didn't think I was hurt till a couple runs later when I couldn't lift the bar. Turned out I broke my collar bone on the lamest fall ever.
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Who tf uses the bar pussy
 
13786295:Codquag said:
Who tf uses the bar pussy
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In onterrible everyone when you can see the top of the lift from the bottom and you ride 200 feet away from your bosses office window on the chair.
 
13786295:Codquag said:
Who tf uses the bar pussy
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Also someone who wants to rest their feet or wants to lean forward and rest especially when it's super cold or someone who doesn't want to get yelled at by patrol or lifties or someone who doesn't want to fall off the lift if it does an emergency stop. Many a good reason.
 
Nollied rolling into the first PC jump and double ejected to my face right there, hard. And if you know Park City you know how many people are standing right there. Needless to say I found a screwdriver at the bottom and cranked the boys up.
 
riding a wind drift when it collapsed onto a cat track, maybe like 3 square meters of area just slid out from underneath me, my automaic response was to yell "OH SH*T, AVALANCHE!" needless to say no real avalanche, but stil get sh*t for it today
 
I was skiing Fernie a few years back with the Rob and Jay Heule, the Burrrlapz boys and an ex freeride world tour skier. Needless to say I was by far the worst skier in the group. I'd never bothered to learn backflips up until that point so I thought I'd get Rob to coach me through it. He spent a minute walking through the steps then told me to go last in the train. The track started under the chair, cut into the woods, did a hard 180 and ended up at a booter that popped you out right under the chair. They all stomped it, I bitched out halfway through and fish flopped onto my head. I could clearly hear the cheers from the chair turn to laughter and had strangers shouting "Hey you're that fish flop kid!" at me all afternoon.
 
13786554:travias said:
I was skiing Fernie a few years back with the Rob and Jay Heule, the Burrrlapz boys and an ex freeride world tour skier. Needless to say I was by far the worst skier in the group. I'd never bothered to learn backflips up until that point so I thought I'd get Rob to coach me through it. He spent a minute walking through the steps then told me to go last in the train. The track started under the chair, cut into the woods, did a hard 180 and ended up at a booter that popped you out right under the chair. They all stomped it, I bitched out halfway through and fish flopped onto my head. I could clearly hear the cheers from the chair turn to laughter and had strangers shouting "Hey you're that fish flop kid!" at me all afternoon.
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This is amazing. Hahahahah did you go back and stomp it after?!
 
13784751:Mingg said:
Yesterday I was in the lift line with OP once again and he stepped on my heels and pushed me forward and I totally face planted in a crowded lift line. It was pretty hilarious. But the funniest part was the ticket checker, who took her job far too seriously, yelled at ME because "it's not a good time to be messing around." Lol sorry not sorry. 10/10 would do again.
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I get that shit pulled on me constantly lol
 
Was taking a piss out in the Backcountry in Banf, found what looked like a good spot, and im pretty because I was little stoned I pulled down my pants to drain the sea monster, then for some reason popped of my skies and stepped a little further into the bush, and Bam, all of sudden im up to my dick in snow. And because I had like already began the piss I was getting piss and piss snow all over me. Buddy behind me saw it all and could not stop laughing to help me out. Fuck you Lucas I almost froze my dick off
 
13786555:Mingg said:
This is amazing. Hahahahah did you go back and stomp it after?!
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Wish I could claim that I did but the landing got pretty packed out and I didn't feel like breaking my neck so not that day. I'm not a sucker for punishment like you Ming! Put them to my feet another day though.
 
Oh and one time when I was ski instructor I thought I killed one my students thanks to my sick twin tip skillz. We were doing a follow me drill, I was doing slow easy turns, even had an assistant with me at the back too, when all of sudden one of my kids just rips right past me out of control, hands in the air screaming for help. I practically shit my pants then and there, turn around tell the assistant to hold the other kids, rip down to this kid just barreling down the hill like Ike in the Aspen south park episode, and I come up with the fucking brilliant idea that im gonna get in front of him, do a quick sliding 180 then grab him. I have no idea why I didn't just grab him, but anyway, of course I catch an edge, slam right in front of the kid, he runs right into my skis, pops out of his and does a full god damn front flip, I swear to god, and slams down so hard on his back. I thought I just killed a kid, but thank fucking christ the tough little bastard was fine, just cried a little bit then said he was fine, even wanted to keep skiing! I thought I was gonna get in so much shit too, but nothing ever came of it.
 
Very happy everyone has a solid story. Another story of mine is from about a month ago. I was going down the hill about mach 10 one night, and there were some epic whales down the main run at my resort. In my head I was thinking I could go CT on this one whale. There was a wet spot right at the end of the lip. I ended up going about 25 feet in a superman then breaking my collarbone into four pieces. It was right by the lift, so everyone saw it. I kept as much dignity as possible by skiing to patrol with my tail between my legs though, so I guess I had that going for me...
 
13786554:travias said:
I was skiing Fernie a few years back with the Rob and Jay Heule, the Burrrlapz boys and an ex freeride world tour skier. Needless to say I was by far the worst skier in the group. I'd never bothered to learn backflips up until that point so I thought I'd get Rob to coach me through it. He spent a minute walking through the steps then told me to go last in the train. The track started under the chair, cut into the woods, did a hard 180 and ended up at a booter that popped you out right under the chair. They all stomped it, I bitched out halfway through and fish flopped onto my head. I could clearly hear the cheers from the chair turn to laughter and had strangers shouting "Hey you're that fish flop kid!" at me all afternoon.
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Hahaha bummer. One time I was skiing with some guys that were way better than me and I was super pumped because it was my first day on my new skis. Well I didnt bother to check the din,and the shop had reset them to like 6 or something ridiculous, so we all go to hit a jump the first run and everyone is killing it and I go to hit it and just explode off the lip. Immediate yardsale through the air, pole planted to the face, there was blood everywhere, I had to ski down to the patrol building to get cleaned up it was an ego check for sure.
 
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