Looking for a girls opinion, or at least an honest one

J

J_Berg

Member
Trying to reel in the more mature crowd of NS..

It's about a girl.. dun dun dun dunnnnn

I'm a senior in high school and things are wrapping up, I'm done with AP tests, and graduation is right around the corner. Thing is this girl I've been with lately, we've been dating pretty seriously for 6 months or so, and she's someone I really see myself with. This isn't my first relationship and I'm not totally ignorant to the fact that other girls do exist.

Anyway, College. I'm going to CU in the fall, and she is going to Tenessee tech on a volleyball scholarship. Also, being that we're from northern Illinois, trips home won't occur often.

I guess my question is more of how to leave it with her. Basically how I feel now is that I will meet new people/girls, date freely, figure myself out more, and maybe see her as a friend over Christmas, and summers. Who knows. I really don't know where this next year will take me, let alone a relationship with her. Deep down I know what I'll end up doing like I stated above, is that what I should just tell her?

Any input is appreciated.
 
13419080:VinnieF said:
this can only mean good things
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Your tastes in woman will change once you leave high school. Yeah it will suck breaking up but in a few years you'll look back and think "nope what was I thinking?"
 
13419087:Uglyboy said:
Your tastes in woman will change once you leave high school. Yeah it will suck breaking up but in a few years you'll look back and think "nope what was I thinking?"
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Thats how im kinda feeling now. You hit the nail on the head
 
Dont make long term decisions based on a girlfriend, my friend who once spent every weekend with us hasn't spent time with us in months, I take that back we went to PC for spring break but even then he would talk to her for 3 hours every night and that is not exaggerated, we never see him he is choosing what college he goes to based on where she is going, he was looking at going to a good film school but when she came along she was his priororty which is ridiculous for a highschool student
 
13419109:dingus said:
Dont make long term decisions based on a girlfriend, my friend who once spent every weekend with us hasn't spent time with us in months, I take that back we went to PC for spring break but even then he would talk to her for 3 hours every night and that is not exaggerated, we never see him he is choosing what college he goes to based on where she is going, he was looking at going to a good film school but when she came along she was his priororty which is ridiculous for a highschool student
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Oh yeah dude i have a buddy just like that. Verbatim. Im not like that haha i got it figured out on my own
 
Do what you can to make it work, but be honest with yourself. Don't force it if when you get out there doesn't feel right.

I dated a girl for a year and a half before I went to college, we went to different schools, after 4 weeks it just wasn't working. She wanted an open relationship, I didnt. We broke up. I survived. Just be honest with your self, dont do something if it doesn't feel right, get out. Dont waste time, college only happens once, do everything you can.
 
have you talked to her about this directly? if not, you definitely should - and don't pussyfoot around it. You guys will have to break up, no doubt about it. So it's better to establish that now, rather than leave it open-ended; that will just hurt the both of you in the long run.
 
13419151:Shewlur... said:
have you talked to her about this directly? if not, you definitely should - and don't pussyfoot around it. You guys will have to break up, no doubt about it. So it's better to establish that now, rather than leave it open-ended; that will just hurt the both of you in the long run.
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yes this^ good to know youre mature enough to actually realize that you guys are gonna have to split up, just be honest with her and tell her how you really feel
 
long distance relationships work for few people, I know I'm certainly not one of them.. you don't really sound like it either. I think you have everything figured out, you just don't want to say it to her. it will suck, especially since you seem pretty caught up in her, but once you get to college that will go away!! Hope things go alright for you!
 
13419195:savvy_ski said:
long distance relationships work for few people, I know I'm certainly not one of them.. you don't really sound like it either. I think you have everything figured out, you just don't want to say it to her. it will suck, especially since you seem pretty caught up in her, but once you get to college that will go away!! Hope things go alright for you!
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they can work when there is an end goal. If you're only going to be apart for a summer, or even a whole year, but you both plan on being back together its a struggle that can be conquored. But when its indefinite, like in OP's case, it won't ever work. Your future goals are to far apart, mentally and geographically to even make it work in the near future.

End it before you leave, have great sex with her until then, and appreciate the time you have.
 
fuck man im in the same situation. its been 7 months with my gf and were both planning on going to schools relatively close.... but idk. I could see myself with her long term but theres so much in life that i have to figure out rn
 
13419382:-WZ- said:
fuck man im in the same situation. its been 7 months with my gf and were both planning on going to schools relatively close.... but idk. I could see myself with her long term but theres so much in life that i have to figure out rn
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Yes exactly dude. My thing is idk where ill even been a year from now, let alone where my relationship would be. You cant plan this kinda stuff out life just has its ways
 
13419462:J_Berg said:
Yes exactly dude. My thing is idk where ill even been a year from now, let alone where my relationship would be. You cant plan this kinda stuff out life just has its ways
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well, you can plan it out. You could plan on being together every summer, and make a goal to be together after 4 years of college. It's ridiculous, but i've seen kids do it for their true loves many times.

Never seen it work tho.
 
I think you're looking at this in the right way and realizing that college is full of so many different opportunities that you (and her) are gonna probably change a lot. Granted, there are some high school sweethearts that stick it out but it's few and far between. If you already plan on breaking up with her then I wouldn't drag on for the whole summer because...why be in a relationship you know is doomed. It's hard for you and it might completely surprise her just before a crazy change in life. But be real with her, she might be angry/sad for now but if honesty is behind it's a lot easier to make it to friendship later on.

Breakups suck, I wish you luck.
 
topic:J_Berg said:
Trying to reel in the more mature crowd of NS..

It's about a girl.. dun dun dun dunnnnn

I'm a senior in high school and things are wrapping up, I'm done with AP tests, and graduation is right around the corner. Thing is this girl I've been with lately, we've been dating pretty seriously for 6 months or so, and she's someone I really see myself with. This isn't my first relationship and I'm not totally ignorant to the fact that other girls do exist.

Anyway, College. I'm going to CU in the fall, and she is going to Tenessee tech on a volleyball scholarship. Also, being that we're from northern Illinois, trips home won't occur often.

I guess my question is more of how to leave it with her. Basically how I feel now is that I will meet new people/girls, date freely, figure myself out more, and maybe see her as a friend over Christmas, and summers. Who knows. I really don't know where this next year will take me, let alone a relationship with her. Deep down I know what I'll end up doing like I stated above, is that what I should just tell her?

Any input is appreciated.
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Bud, so much is going to change in your life in the next 10-15yrs that this is going to be fairly irrelevant. Just be honest with her and keep the future open.
 
I'm one of the few people who made it through college in a long distance relationship so I probably have a different opinion from everyone else. It will only work if you have absolutely no questions about staying with her, which it sounds like isn't the case. It's important for you guys to establish your own lives at school and not make decisions based on each other. You also need to communicate openly, honestly, and frequently and be able to talk about everything together. Sure there are plenty of other girls out there, but if you think you found something special and you have no desire to be with anyone else, then it's worth trying to make it work, you both just have to be extremely committed. It's really hard to physically not be together but it honestly wasn't as bad as I was expecting and we got through 4 years pretty easily
 
End it on a good note. Don't leave room for any kind of resentment. I think it would be best to break it off when you know for sure that you want to. Who knows, maybe she is thinking the same thing. Talk to her in person and explain to her basically what you just said to us. She'll understand and if you are considerate about it you guys will likely be able to be friends.

Good luck man, that's rough. Hope it all goes well!
 
13420232:cddlswthsqrrls said:
End it on a good note. Don't leave room for any kind of resentment. I think it would be best to break it off when you know for sure that you want to. Who knows, maybe she is thinking the same thing. Talk to her in person and explain to her basically what you just said to us. She'll understand and if you are considerate about it you guys will likely be able to be friends.

Good luck man, that's rough. Hope it all goes well!
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Ming why did you change your username
 
topic:J_Berg said:
Anyway, College. I'm going to CU in the fall, and she is going to Tenessee tech on a volleyball scholarship.

She is probably blonde and has a nice ass. Im goin to CU too.
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13420232:cddlswthsqrrls said:
End it on a good note. Don't leave room for any kind of resentment. I think it would be best to break it off when you know for sure that you want to. Who knows, maybe she is thinking the same thing. Talk to her in person and explain to her basically what you just said to us. She'll understand and if you are considerate about it you guys will likely be able to be friends.

Good luck man, that's rough. Hope it all goes well!
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He already knows what he wants, he just wants to keep getting it in until the last minute. Don't tell her until your last day or 2 OP.
 
13420346:*Frankie* said:
Anyway, College. I'm going to CU in the fall, and she is going to Tenessee tech on a volleyball scholarship.

She is probably blonde and has a nice ass. Im goin to CU too.
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Yes, that is indeed the situation. what dorm where you from
 
13420358:Lord_Byron said:
He already knows what he wants, he just wants to keep getting it in until the last minute. Don't tell her until your last day or 2 OP.
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This. Honestly yeah its shitty cuz i really have feelings for her and shes a real catch. But at the same time its just high school, and we have great sex hahahah
 
13420358:Lord_Byron said:
He already knows what he wants, he just wants to keep getting it in until the last minute. Don't tell her until your last day or 2 OP.
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This. Honestly yeah its shitty cuz i really have feelings for her and shes a real catch. But at the same time its just high school, and we have great sex hahahah
 
13420410:J_Berg said:
This. Honestly yeah its shitty cuz i really have feelings for her and shes a real catch. But at the same time its just high school, and we have great sex hahahah
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If you're planning on not staying together you need to tell her. If you agree to ride it out and enjoy your summer together before breaking things off then that's fine, but you both need to be part of that decision. It's not fair to her to lead her on like that and it'll make the breakup that much harder

If you truly believe she is a real catch and have no questions about staying with her then try to make it work, but you need to do it with the intent to be with her for all 4 years and stay completely loyal, otherwise you will develop questions halfway through and it'll end up crashing and burning. So many kids come in freshman year trying to tentatively continue a high school relationship but with reservations, and that's why nearly all long distance situations fail in college. It's really a 100% or nothing type of situation if you want it to work. That doesn't mean you should sacrifice your college experience to stay inside and talk to her for 4 hours every night, since that will make you resent eachother, but your intention for the relationship needs to be to stay together with no doubt in either of your minds. If that's not the case already then it's unlikely to become the case
 
13420416:no_steeze said:
If you're planning on not staying together you need to tell her. If you agree to ride it out and enjoy your summer together before breaking things off then that's fine, but you both need to be part of that decision. It's not fair to her to lead her on like that and it'll make the breakup that much harder

If you truly believe she is a real catch and have no questions about staying with her then try to make it work, but you need to do it with the intent to be with her for all 4 years and stay completely loyal, otherwise you will develop questions halfway through and it'll end up crashing and burning. So many kids come in freshman year trying to tentatively continue a high school relationship but with reservations, and that's why nearly all long distance situations fail in college. It's really a 100% or nothing type of situation if you want it to work. That doesn't mean you should sacrifice your college experience to stay inside and talk to her for 4 hours every night, since that will make you resent eachother, but your intention for the relationship needs to be to stay together with no doubt in either of your minds. If that's not the case already then it's unlikely to become the case
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Yeah yeah dude ik. Im not leading her on. We both know the end is near and just tryna have some fun before we leave
 
13420235:shin-bang said:
Ming why did you change your username
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Because of sexual harassment.

Tell her how you really feel op.

And here's a crazy thought, what if your skiier gf had a NS and she's reading this
 
I think it's important when you're young to have several meaningful relationships prior to settling down on one.

That's how you learn what you like, what works and what doesn't. Lots of couples do this and end up coming back to each other, stronger than ever.

Put her in the friend zone when you leave.
 
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