+K for the most awkward

I was drunk and I couldn't cum. She was sucking me after we fucked and was like "Are you almost done?" and I had to tell her no.
 
Not my story but my buddy said his girl farted while they were goin at it haha and i don't mean escaping air. I mean a legit fart!
 
My buddys first time with his girlfriend(his first not hers) She has a history of epilepsy and she had a grand Mal seizure as they were banging, she pissed all over him
 
On a totally unrelated note, im fairly certain your post/karma ratio is so high solely because you lack a Y chromosome and have amazing legs.
 
i lost my Vcard recently as in like 1 month ago. october 18th and 19th actually. so i fucked this girl in my dads truck and everything went sweet she loved i loved it. the only problem was the next day was sunday cuz it was a satarday night so the next morning while i was still sleeping my dad takes the truck and goes and picks up all his friends cuz there goin to watch football (Patriots). soo he calls me up and is like yo jake im comin to pick you up were goin over Bill's to watch the game. so i get into the car thinkinn ohh shit i fucked this girl in the back seat of the truck and theres people sitting there and i didnt clean it. so bill is eating friesand a burger, one frenchfrie falls on the seat he picks it up and eats it. i was trying not to laugh sooo hard and its not like i was gona say anything. yea thats my awkward storyy
 
Would have been alot funnier if you said he picked up a condom or something by accident when his fry fell.
 
I win.

Summer going into junior year of HS. Parents are out of town and it is one of the first times I had ever gotten drunk. Had a little party at my house, maybe 10 people. Knowing nothing about alcohol we asked my cousin to get us the following. 1 30 rack, a handle of capt mo, a handle of bicardi, a 12 pack of honeybrown, and a flask of 151. I think we just about finished the 30 rack and about half a handle.

Anyway there is this chick there that I am kind of dating so after the party dies down and I take a little nap (passed the fuck out for three hours) I decide I need to have some sex so I bring this girl up into my parents bedroom, it is probably around 3 in the morning. She had some experience points in the sex category and I had to act like I knew what I was doing. So I get this girl completely undressed and I am not shitting you I still had all my clothes on. So I start to rip my clothes off and I realize that she is just watching me so I try to do it sexy. Never try to do it sexy, I looked like a fucking retard at bath time.

So I get over her and finger her for a little bit and she asks me to put on a condom so I take out the condom I have had in my wallet since birth and throw this baby on my dick. Then I get her to the edge of the bed, me standing, and thrust with all my might. AND...... Done. I am literally one pump and done. I try my best to hide the fact that I lasted less than a second and finally make eye contact with her.

She looks right into my eyes and is like "are you going to put it in?"

Completely confused my mind jumps to many conclusions "I have a tiny dick", "she is loose as hell" , "I am using a pussy numbing condom"... Then I look down. And my dick, instead of being safely stowed in her vagina, is in between her butt cheeks and the bed...

My first time having "sex" and I just had a 3 some with Erin XXXX and my parents bed spread.

So I quickly rear back and insert directly into the vagina, which was really uncomfortable because I already came and the condom was full of jiz. After a while it got better and I made her have an orgasm (no shit). I call it the night of wet boots. This was the one and only time we had sex, we got in a huge fight later that week and broke up. I told her the story one drunken night in college.
 
Just to show you how sad your story is, Im gonna tell you mine.

We were both losing our virginity. I had to talk my mom into letting me take my new girlfriend out to her boyfriend's cabin. It was the first time we had stayed there, and as soon as my mom and her bf were asleep, we went to the guest room downstairs. We just fucked around for a while before she decided she was ready. So we were pretty young, and it hurt her pretty bad, and she said she thought she was bleeding, so she went to the bathroom. Turns out she was bleeding, but we didnt think it was that bad. I woke up in the morning to the sound of my mom coming into the room and then to screaming. I guess she bled a bit more than we thought, all over my mom's boyfriend's light blue sheets.

My mom and that guy broke up since then, but I saw him at the mountain and he wouldnt look at me.
 
Hahahaha, a similar thing happened to me my first time, it sucked so hard but at the same time it was f-ing awesome! xD
 
A little more to the story:

I told Erin at a college party and she told me she knew I came because when we switched positions there was jiz all over but she knew I was being a champ and fighting on. Never told anyone or made fun of me, what a classy lady.

The rest of HS I kept it my most closely guarded secret, didn't tell a sole. One night (while drunk, shit I drink too much) I told a bunch of buddies who exploded in laughter, I never thought it was funny until then.

So I tell the story all the time now and it is an inside joke with my friends. "Dude I got wet boots fuck my life". And the ultimate, I told it to a group of girls in Havasu and it got me laid because they thought I was funny, stupid chicks. So remember, being a one hit wonder and fucking your parents bed spread might one day get you laid.

 
no you actually post a comment on every single post, and give them karma or not. your new here. relax, no need to post every second
 
oh here's a winner

my girlfriend and I did it in my bed at night. That's how I lost mine. exciting huh?
 
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My girlfriend was spending the day at my mom's house (divorced parents) and my mom was watching everything we did, but we both knew we wanted to have sex, we were 15 and 16, what other reason was there to be in a relationship?! so when my mom said she was going to the grocery store, which was less than a mile away, we ran upstairs, watched her pull out of the driveway then we got to it. 5 minutes later my mom comes upstairs and pushes the door open, mid-act. she didn't say anything, she just went in her room and never said anything about it to this day.
 
It is physically impossible to for me get a hardy when im drunk... Not a virginity story but ill tell it none the less. So i was at a house party with about 15 of my friends and i was having a great time(hitting the bottle hard). So this chick i had been hooking up with for a while was looking super sexy that night and i could tell she wanted it. So sure enough, at around halfway through the night she approaches me and says "meet me upstairs in 5 mins." So i throw down one more drink and head upstairs. after waiting for no more then a minute i am pleasently surprised to see that she brought her friend who also happens to be quite smoking. So we get down to it and they are getting freaky and hooxing with eachother and me and a few mins in a realise, "holy shit, how the hell do i not have a stiffy right now." i tried everything but i was litterally impotent. Now if that doesnt sound like a bad case of a bonerkill, we were also walked in on so my fun time ended there...

moral of the story: Don't get too drunk before having sex.
 
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