In-class-farts

derbski

derbski

Active member
I am in my calc 3 discussion class, and I have a real seat-cracker building up in me, the kind that makes you move around cause it is so uncomfortable to hold in. The problem is thatI already showed up like 5 minutes late for this, and can't exactly get up to go to the bathroom

This puppy will be neither silent nor smell-less, and I still have like 35 minutes of class. Shit sucks man, feel free to talk about your inopportune farts as you see necessary
 
back in highschool bio, i sneezed so hard that a nice, sharp crackling fart followed through.
pretty awesome
 
one time in hs, in the computer lab, my friends and i were messing around and generally being a nuisance. so this one girl in the lab keeps giving us dirty looks and shit. i felt a fart coming on, so i went over and sat at the computer right beside her.

i let out a HUGE fart, probably the biggest i've ever had. the whole lab went silent for a second, then everyone in the lab just burst out laughing, including me. oh but not her. she was really mad and stormed out and everyone made fun of her for being farted on so hard. it was awesome, we laughed our asses off for quite some time.

i miss high school.
 
fart hard and loud, then look disgusted to the person next to you ...
at least that's what i always do in class....
 
shit, that has happened to me too, I better not sneeze in the next 30 minutes, it has almost come out on a few coughs
 
i love it when I rip ass in my office and then some poor unsuspecting soul comes walking in to see (read bother/annoy) me about something. the look on their face when the smell hits them is priceless. it's hilarious to watch them try and not react to it while they bother me with whatever it is they feel warrants my attention.
 
i hate when youre holding one in, trying to find a way to let it out silently and you end up coughing or sneezing which results in the fart erupting from your ass in the loudest way possible.
 
i was in my calc class probably two weeks ago, the class was silent and i felt this fart just building up inside me. i'm squirming around, trying to let it out a little at a time. i spread my cheeks apart so it would be just a burst if air as opposed to a snapping fart. i let it out and scared the shit out of the asian girl next to me.
 
I remember in the 8th grade i was sittin in biology class, and the desk i was sitting in was quite uncomfortable, and the seat was making my ass start to get more uncomfortable cause of the big lunch i had. I just so happened to be sittin next to some pretty hot girls and im praying to god that this feeling will go away......but then i dropped my fucking pencil, i knew that this maneuver to pick up the pencil was going to be difficult without letting out a one cheek sneak, so i begin to bend over very slowly and as my left ass cheak separates from the seat the pressure on my right cheek puts full pressure on the gas chamber and there i go my ass first pops then slowly lets a nice wet one squeak pass. As i lean back from my maneuver with my pencil back on my desk, all the girls are staring at me in disgust. I tried to pass the blame to the kid on my right but the attempt failed. But i was relieved from the uncomfortable pain
 
Crop Dust that shit, all you got to do is walk circles around people and fart the whole time. lmao thats how you get it done

 
The desks in my school have this fake granite shit that really amplifies your farts so even small ones sound monstrous
 
Haha my friend was in class and they had the wooden chairs an just let the fatest one rip, the girl in front of him said it was her rubbing on her chair
 
Fuck yes it is!
My best friend and I have a rating system for the really good ones. And you can only get a 10 if there's blood and a mandatory half hour of effort involved.
 
One time i was squatting in the weight room of my school during gym and i was on my last set so the weight was up to 300 pounds, which is pretty heavy for me. So i get loosened up and my spotter gives me the "u ready?" nod, "why yes, yes i am", i said. I needed three reps to raise my max. So i get the bastard on my shoulders and giver her a squat...first one successful, i get down real nice for number 2...it was a doozy, but i got it done. At this point half the weight room was watching me because i grunt like a badass when i lift for shits and gigs (its kind of an inside joke for non-football players to do this because it pisses all the football players off). i prep myself for numero tres. i begin my descent. AND THEN OUT OF NOWHERE I GIGANTIC BROWN HURRICANE OF A FART BLASTS OUT MY ASSHOLE! i had no idea i had to fart, the fucker caught me off guard. everyone stared, the ladies were mesmerized and the gentlemen were jealous. there was a few giggles here and there but most of em were just aghast at the magnitude of such a force. i got a slow clap from some and then the scene broke up. hell of a day
 
back i 8th grade i was in an elevator at the air and space museum with some of my friends and right before we walked out i ripped ass sooo hard and long, and then one of my buddies joined in and we finished and walked out and there was like 10 people waiting outside the elevator.
 
RIVITING-TALE-CHAP.jpg
 
our science teacher was really pissed at us and was holding a grudge forever

i ripped one soooo loud and he cracked up... it solved the whole problem
 
my roomate told me that in his class they were listening to soundclips of animals and identifying them and then the teacher was about to play a clip and said "everybody listen" and then some kid beefed and then yelled out "barking spider!" the TA was laughing so hard he fucking cried.
 
last year in senior english my friend and i would just see how many times we could rip it before we got kicked out of class.
 
in 5th grade my friend and I were on the balance beam on the playground and then the bell rang so we both jumped off, first me followed by my friend. when he landed I heard this wet, grumbling, squeaking sound. I turn around and I see my friends face in utter terror, confusion, and shock. I saw "what's up dude?" and he simply replies with, "I pooped" then sprinted inside to the bathroom. most epic day of elementary
 
damn you funny thread for making me laugh and thus sending me into a 3 minute long coughing fit.

Back in 7th grade, my class had to do some stretching for gym class. so one of my friends thought it would be funny to fart while everybody was bending over. he does then looks up with a disgusted look on his face and leaves class with no explanation and walks to the bathroom because he sharted
 
In sophomore biology i remember being in front of the whole class reading out of the book (i will have you know it was dead silent). i remember i noticed my teacher (who happens to be a girl) moving around slightly uncomfortably, but disregarded it. less than 10 seconds later someone just rips ass, and i mean it was a dirty wet nasty one. i try to contain myself by continuing to read and pretending nothing happened, but i couldnt. i immediately stop reading and look up directly and my teacher like what the fuck are you serious? everyone awkwardly looked at her with a grin and she admitted it quite proudly. fucking weird. she was sitting at my seat too so i had to waft in the residue after reading...FUCK
 
oh ya and just recently i had a bad one.

so after school im laying on this bench in the lobby, with girls standing all around me. i had to shit pretty bad, and was holding back a serious fart (didn't want to be rude of course cuz this shit was gonna smell). anyway out of the blue my girlfriend comes up and sits down right on my stomach, pushing out the massive gas bubble in my stomach. my ass erupted in a fart, attracting the attention of everyone near me. my girlfriend just laughed and walked away, leaving me alone with all the girls looking at me in disgust. im not gonna lie it was embarrassing
 
in 4th grade some lady came and talked about china to our grade. we were all sitting cross legged in a very small space in the library and it was silent. i used to have an issue where if i laughed hard enough i'd fart. my friend whispered something to me and i started lol'ing everywhere and ripped ass SO fucking loud that everyone stopped, including the speaker, and looked at me. i blamed the kid behind me to no avail

i also often play over what i would do if i shat my pants in class. like the different reactions based off of how much shit, if i was wearing shorts, and how long into the period. i am now prepared for one of my greatest fears
 
In 8th grade english i had what i thought would be a tiny little fart. I thought it would be funny to stand up and fart but i underestimated the magnitude of the fart and unloaded a pretty big one directly on my teacher. She actually started laughing but then made me sit outside for the rest of class
 
Weird, I totally interupted my engineering design and development class today by letting a big one go in the middle of a slideshow, the class is all guys so everyone just died laughing including my teacher who told me "If i smell that up here your loosing points on your grade"
 
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