Ideas for neighbor

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About my neighbor:

Never really had any problems with him growing up, but he is the sworn enemey to my brother and his friends. He is notorious for calling the cops over the most petty shit. He lives across the street from me, and with the way the zoning in my township works he technically lives in another neighborhood. Hes part of the homeowners association in that neighborhood. The Homeowners Association has no jurisdiction in mine, but recently he's been going to the people on my street and asking them to paint their house, redo fencing, etc. My house is in pretty good shape so I thought he'd leave me alone. He stopped me a few weeks ago when I was mowing the lawn one day and said:

"You know there's an ordinance against those"

"Against what Mr. Mike?"

"The trampoline"

"Were not part of the homeowners association Mr. Mike"

"Well I think you guys should take it down. It's sort of an eyesore and it has the potential to lower land value"

I didn't say anything and just continued mowing the lawn.

So for the past few weeks he has been walking his dog past my house and having it shit in my yard then not picking it up. The one day his dog and my dog got into a fight. I came outside and he said to me "control your fucking dog". My dog was in my yard, held in by an electric fence. His dog doesn't have a leash. So when he told me that I responded with "Fuck off cunt".

So yeah I'd like to plan something.
 
13715053:Josh__Peck said:
About my neighbor:

Never really had any problems with him growing up, but he is the sworn enemey to my brother and his friends. He is notorious for calling the cops over the most petty shit. He lives across the street from me, and with the way the zoning in my township works he technically lives in another neighborhood. Hes part of the homeowners association in that neighborhood. The Homeowners Association has no jurisdiction in mine, but recently he's been going to the people on my street and asking them to paint their house, redo fencing, etc. My house is in pretty good shape so I thought he'd leave me alone. He stopped me a few weeks ago when I was mowing the lawn one day and said:

"You know there's an ordinance against those"

"Against what Mr. Mike?"

"The trampoline"

"Were not part of the homeowners association Mr. Mike"

"Well I think you guys should take it down. It's sort of an eyesore and it has the potential to lower land value"

I didn't say anything and just continued mowing the lawn.

So for the past few weeks he has been walking his dog past my house and having it shit in my yard then not picking it up. The one day his dog and my dog got into a fight. I came outside and he said to me "control your fucking dog". My dog was in my yard, held in by an electric fence. His dog doesn't have a leash. So when he told me that I responded with "Fuck off cunt".

So yeah I'd like to plan something.
Click to expand...

+k
 
Idk about where you live but there are laws against not picking up after your dog....get it on video and get him a ticket.

Or if your dog is bigger just let him maul the other one. It's on your property unwantedly
 
13715101:Profahoben_212 said:
Idk about where you live but there are laws against not picking up after your dog....get it on video and get him a ticket.
Click to expand...

Yes, just get a good security camera or a trail cam and then call the authorities once you have your video evidence.
 
use salt and make a huge dick or other design in his yard. Salt turns a nice green grass to brown over night.
 
Glitter bomb him.

Write a slanderous flyer and distribute it, at night, to the HOA neighborhood. If you're good with Photoshop utilize that.

Let the air out of his car tires every third Thursday.

Throw a laxative laced meatball where his dog plays

Plant some endangered plants on his planter strip and take dated pictures... it's illegal for him to remove, and he'll be fined if he does, but the HOA will fine him if he doesnt.

Buy a burner phone with cash and prank call him all night every night.

Throw stink bombs into his AC intake.

Get a big mirror, put it in your front window such that it glares into his yard.
 
Give a bunch of minors a couple of bucks each and tell them to egg the shit out of his house, sounds like a douchebag
 
When I was a toddler my parents had just bought their first house we had a similar situation where a neighbor was not cleaning up after his dog, and pointing out petty "eye-sores," and generally just being a pain in the ass. After my dad repeatedly asked him to stop letting his dogs shit in my yard where I played, my dad said fuck it got a snow shovel and would literally catapult dog shit back over the fence separating our yards and plaster the side of our neighbors house with his own dog's shit.

After a few weeks the guy starts getting HOA complaints from other fed up neighbors that the side of his shit stained house is an eye-sore. Only the shit had baked into the side of his house for so long that even after a power wash there were still stains. I'm pretty sure he ended up having it re-painted it before we moved.
 
Step 1: Make a compressed air cannon. You're a NSer, so you probably have a bunch of old PVC in your garage. Turn a 4" wide, 2 ft long section into an air tank with 2 end caps. drill a small hole in the side and stick the valve from a bike tube in it so you can pump a bunch of air in it. Drill a 1/2" hole in one of the end caps to attach a PVC quick release valve, which costs about 8 bucks from any hardware store. On the other end of the valve, slide a roughly 10 ft section of 3/4" PVC to serve as the barrel.

Step 2: Put some hot dogs in the freezer. They should fit perfectly in the barrel of the cannon, and 150 psi in the air tank should easily launch a dog about 500 ft, so you can bombard his house from the safety of your backyard. Aim for his car and/or front door when he gets home from work, but try not to hit him directly because a frozen hot dog can kill a man when its going 100 mph. Alternatively, if you use unfrozen hot dogs, they will shred from the pressure in the barrel and make a kind of meat mist and its really gross. Paint the walls of his house with this when he isn't home.

Step 3: Buy a lot of glitter. You can get a pound of glitter for about 10 bucks on amazon, and probably cheaper on ebay. You should be able to fit 5 pounds of glitter into the barrel of your cannon. When he's asleep at night, cut a 3/4" hole in the screen of an open window in his bedroom. stick the barrel through it, aimed at about 50 degrees upward. Let it rip at 100 psi and he will wake up to glitter settled onto every horizontal surface in his room.

Step 4: ???

Step 5: Profit.
 
13715385:~Gotama~ said:
Step 1: Make a compressed air cannon. You're a NSer, so you probably have a bunch of old PVC in your garage. Turn a 4" wide, 2 ft long section into an air tank with 2 end caps. drill a small hole in the side and stick the valve from a bike tube in it so you can pump a bunch of air in it. Drill a 1/2" hole in one of the end caps to attach a PVC quick release valve, which costs about 8 bucks from any hardware store. On the other end of the valve, slide a roughly 10 ft section of 3/4" PVC to serve as the barrel.

Step 2: Put some hot dogs in the freezer. They should fit perfectly in the barrel of the cannon, and 150 psi in the air tank should easily launch a dog about 500 ft, so you can bombard his house from the safety of your backyard. Aim for his car and/or front door when he gets home from work, but try not to hit him directly because a frozen hot dog can kill a man when its going 100 mph. Alternatively, if you use unfrozen hot dogs, they will shred from the pressure in the barrel and make a kind of meat mist and its really gross. Paint the walls of his house with this when he isn't home.

Step 3: Buy a lot of glitter. You can get a pound of glitter for about 10 bucks on amazon, and probably cheaper on ebay. You should be able to fit 5 pounds of glitter into the barrel of your cannon. When he's asleep at night, cut a 3/4" hole in the screen of an open window in his bedroom. stick the barrel through it, aimed at about 50 degrees upward. Let it rip at 100 psi and he will wake up to glitter settled onto every horizontal surface in his room.

Step 4: ???

Step 5: Profit.
Click to expand...

haha money right here
 
13715373:Randy_Quench said:
When I was a toddler my parents had just bought their first house we had a similar situation where a neighbor was not cleaning up after his dog, and pointing out petty "eye-sores," and generally just being a pain in the ass. After my dad repeatedly asked him to stop letting his dogs shit in my yard where I played, my dad said fuck it got a snow shovel and would literally catapult dog shit back over the fence separating our yards and plaster the side of our neighbors house with his own dog's shit.

After a few weeks the guy starts getting HOA complaints from other fed up neighbors that the side of his shit stained house is an eye-sore. Only the shit had baked into the side of his house for so long that even after a power wash there were still stains. I'm pretty sure he ended up having it re-painted it before we moved.
Click to expand...

This is exactly what my father did growing up. We had neighbors on both sides whose cats would use our yard as a litter box. My dad asked the neighbors politely if they would keep a better eye on where their cats did their business. The neighbors ignored his request and his solution was simple. He would take a shovel and return each shit to its owners yard, driveway, patio, front porch. The whole situation came to a climax when he set a trap in our yard. When the dumbass cat got caught in the trap he hosed the fucker down realll good then left the trap with the cat still wet and pissed off inside it on the neighbors front step.
 
My experience has taught me that is it really not worth it to go to war with your neighbors. It never ends and they are ALWAYS RIGHT THERE. I am out of the business of yelling at old ladies. Go along get along unless one if you is going to move soon then burn that fuckers house down.
 
13715053:Josh__Peck said:
About my neighbor:

Never really had any problems with him growing up, but he is the sworn enemey to my brother and his friends.
Click to expand...

The best way to get back at your neighbor? Grow the fuck up.
 
13715053:Josh__Peck said:
About my neighbor:

Never really had any problems with him growing up, but he is the sworn enemey to my brother and his friends. He is notorious for calling the cops over the most petty shit. He lives across the street from me, and with the way the zoning in my township works he technically lives in another neighborhood. Hes part of the homeowners association in that neighborhood. The Homeowners Association has no jurisdiction in mine, but recently he's been going to the people on my street and asking them to paint their house, redo fencing, etc. My house is in pretty good shape so I thought he'd leave me alone. He stopped me a few weeks ago when I was mowing the lawn one day and said:

"You know there's an ordinance against those"

"Against what Mr. Mike?"

"The trampoline"

"Were not part of the homeowners association Mr. Mike"

"Well I think you guys should take it down. It's sort of an eyesore and it has the potential to lower land value"

I didn't say anything and just continued mowing the lawn.

So for the past few weeks he has been walking his dog past my house and having it shit in my yard then not picking it up. The one day his dog and my dog got into a fight. I came outside and he said to me "control your fucking dog". My dog was in my yard, held in by an electric fence. His dog doesn't have a leash. So when he told me that I responded with "Fuck off cunt".

So yeah I'd like to plan something.
Click to expand...

Go to poopsenders.com, it anonymously sends 10 pounds of exotic shit straight to people's door. Perfect for your "shituation" haha
 
13716259:Josh__Peck said:
Coming from the 30 year old guy who spends an inordinate amount of time on a skiing forum filled with mostly teenagers.
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And yet you're asking a forum full of teens how to get back at your neighbor. Grow the fuck up, Dennis.
 
13715053:Josh__Peck said:
About my neighbor:

Never really had any problems with him growing up, but he is the sworn enemey to my brother and his friends. He is notorious for calling the cops over the most petty shit. He lives across the street from me, and with the way the zoning in my township works he technically lives in another neighborhood. Hes part of the homeowners association in that neighborhood. The Homeowners Association has no jurisdiction in mine, but recently he's been going to the people on my street and asking them to paint their house, redo fencing, etc. My house is in pretty good shape so I thought he'd leave me alone. He stopped me a few weeks ago when I was mowing the lawn one day and said:

"You know there's an ordinance against those"

"Against what Mr. Mike?"

"The trampoline"

"Were not part of the homeowners association Mr. Mike"

"Well I think you guys should take it down. It's sort of an eyesore and it has the potential to lower land value"

I didn't say anything and just continued mowing the lawn.

So for the past few weeks he has been walking his dog past my house and having it shit in my yard then not picking it up. The one day his dog and my dog got into a fight. I came outside and he said to me "control your fucking dog". My dog was in my yard, held in by an electric fence. His dog doesn't have a leash. So when he told me that I responded with "Fuck off cunt".

So yeah I'd like to plan something.
Click to expand...

pour a bunch of grass killer on his lawn, or a fuck ton of de-icing salt. Fuck that guys property value.
 
put little rocks under his valve caps on his car then screw them back on he will get tired of having flat tires every day.... that or have loud parties every night until the noise ordinance nothing they could do got my neighbor to rent some where else dude was fun vacuum OP good luck guy sounds like a side snack
 
13715125:japanada said:
use salt and make a huge dick or other design in his yard. Salt turns a nice green grass to brown over night.
Click to expand...

13715247:californiagrown said:
Glitter bomb him.

Write a slanderous flyer and distribute it, at night, to the HOA neighborhood. If you're good with Photoshop utilize that.

Let the air out of his car tires every third Thursday.

Throw a laxative laced meatball where his dog plays

Plant some endangered plants on his planter strip and take dated pictures... it's illegal for him to remove, and he'll be fined if he does, but the HOA will fine him if he doesnt.

Buy a burner phone with cash and prank call him all night every night.

Throw stink bombs into his AC intake.

Get a big mirror, put it in your front window such that it glares into his yard.
Click to expand...

13715251:Chubz. said:
Give a bunch of minors a couple of bucks each and tell them to egg the shit out of his house, sounds like a douchebag
Click to expand...

Lmao this is why I love NS, everyone is coming together to help. I'm taking notes ya'll
 
Go on Craigslist looking for free dirt and see how many yards of dirt you can have dumped in his driveway when he isn't home. He will have no ability to get rid of it and it is probably also a violation of the homeowners association policy. Win win.
 
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