i have been in 5 relationships with girls. all fairly serious. and never once said i love you. i was scared of it.
my story,
i met this girl at a party. thought she was the most beautiful girl ever. went on a double date a few weeks later and got ice cream.we hung out for 2 weeks consistently. every afternoon and night. she then slept over. we started liking eachothers companionship so much. then we started dating. dated 8 months no L bombs. i freak out and decide that i dont want to say love cause i was only 19. so we break up, but we basically stay together. spend every minute together for 3 months, then all the sudden she wont call me, see me, hang out with me. the three months we werent together she was hoping, praying i would just turn around and say lets get back together. but i didnt. she gave up on me. in august. its almost october. we try to be friends. but its so hard. we got so close. and its all i know. now that hard part is, she made me feel like one in a million. now im a million to one. it is horrible. it took her leaving me for me to realize how happy was with her. i was the happiest and probably the most poor i had been. i had three things that were horrible happen to me while i was with her. and if she wasnt there i would probably have given up on life in utah and moved home. i got an not-a-drop citation, totaled my car 2 nights later, and my ex girlfriend said she was pregnant. all in like 6 days. so she was there for me. and supported my skiing. she tore her acl and i got to take care of her for like 2 months. i slept on the floor of her dorm and would wake up to make sure she was okay. i supported her soccer more then anything even when she wasnt able to play. the only different thing about us is really she likes gay kelly clarkson bull shit music and i like hip hop and indy and electronic. ha ha . well to get where i am now. im not with her, not a best friend, barely a friend. i love her more then anyting. and i think it will take her dating someone else to realize what i did for her and what she did/does for me.
so what im getting at. im very bitter towards love right now. and bitter at myself. and i think fuck love. but everything i had with her was so worth it and i would go through it all again because the good times are so amazing.