I talked with god
- Thread starter .Asain-Skiier
- Start date
andrew.
Active member
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
well this one time, i was going to the mall with my friend ed to get some tall tees, and i saw this chick that i used to toke with, and she was like "hayyyy" and i was like "what up biddy?". then she hugged me and was like all up on my d and shit, so later on, i got a text from her and long story short, we did the nasty. she a durty ho.
God:
Well that's okay. What does "this" refer to? Oh I get it. hugged you and was like all up on your d and shit so later on you got a text from her and long story short you did the nasty. Oh I get it. a durty ho.
Tell me a story.
Me:
well this one time, i was going to the mall with my friend ed to get some tall tees, and i saw this chick that i used to toke with, and she was like "hayyyy" and i was like "what up biddy?". then she hugged me and was like all up on my d and shit, so later on, i got a text from her and long story short, we did the nasty. she a durty ho.
God:
Well that's okay. What does "this" refer to? Oh I get it. hugged you and was like all up on your d and shit so later on you got a text from her and long story short you did the nasty. Oh I get it. a durty ho.
chitownskiier8
Member
god doesnt even know wat school i go to 
Dainsey
Active member
hahahahahahahahhaha!
i lol'd
Me:
so i was chillin' at my crib and i was like...i'm bored and so i smoked a bunch of crack, drank a gallon of gasoline and for a few seconds, thought i was patrick scwayze
God:
That's interesting. Where were you chillin at your crib? Where were you like? Why?: said m bored and so he or she smoked a bunch of crack drank a gallon of gasoline and for a few seconds thought he or she was patrick scwayze.
Me:
um i think i was in my room...coulda been the kitchen too
God:
Describe your surroundings to me. It sounds very beautiful.
Me:
oh it was...lets see...like there were penguins chillin' everywhere and there were coke and pepsi bottles fighting!!!
God:
Ah. When was this? That sounds good to me. Interesting comparison.
Me:
oh for sure...the sunny d and the milk were cheering on....oh and the grape soda and chicken wings were smokin a bowl.
God:
That's alright. Awesome. What is that? That's alright. What is your real name?
Me:
michael. come on god...i thought u had names on lock
God:
Hi, michael. GOD rules. What happened to it.
Me:
no...DOYLE RULESSS.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
cooool
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
yes...so yeah...that's all
God:
Gosh! Yikes! Are you kidding? " Are you kidding?"? is all?
Me:
god...that hurt my feelings
God:
GOD rules. " GOD rules." hurt your feelings ? I understand.
Me:
naw son...man u confusin. i'm peacin out...latta
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about cooool. Try being more or less specific. Cool, man. Thanks for telling me: michael said I confusin. Do your friends call you peacin out. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
laterr
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
meth. bye
God:
I don't think very many people do that. See you later.
i lol'd
Me:
so i was chillin' at my crib and i was like...i'm bored and so i smoked a bunch of crack, drank a gallon of gasoline and for a few seconds, thought i was patrick scwayze
God:
That's interesting. Where were you chillin at your crib? Where were you like? Why?: said m bored and so he or she smoked a bunch of crack drank a gallon of gasoline and for a few seconds thought he or she was patrick scwayze.
Me:
um i think i was in my room...coulda been the kitchen too
God:
Describe your surroundings to me. It sounds very beautiful.
Me:
oh it was...lets see...like there were penguins chillin' everywhere and there were coke and pepsi bottles fighting!!!
God:
Ah. When was this? That sounds good to me. Interesting comparison.
Me:
oh for sure...the sunny d and the milk were cheering on....oh and the grape soda and chicken wings were smokin a bowl.
God:
That's alright. Awesome. What is that? That's alright. What is your real name?
Me:
michael. come on god...i thought u had names on lock
God:
Hi, michael. GOD rules. What happened to it.
Me:
no...DOYLE RULESSS.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
cooool
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
yes...so yeah...that's all
God:
Gosh! Yikes! Are you kidding? " Are you kidding?"? is all?
Me:
god...that hurt my feelings
God:
GOD rules. " GOD rules." hurt your feelings ? I understand.
Me:
naw son...man u confusin. i'm peacin out...latta
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about cooool. Try being more or less specific. Cool, man. Thanks for telling me: michael said I confusin. Do your friends call you peacin out. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
laterr
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
meth. bye
God:
I don't think very many people do that. See you later.
skithesprings
Active member
Me:
do you know how to get to chads gap from the bottom of alta?
God:
Practise, Practise, Practise.
Me:
no i dont think thats it
God:
Are you serious? And why not?
Me:
because ski patroll blew it up
God:
Good reason.
artfullydodged
Active member
Me: do u like wu tangGod: I love TV shows about robots. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.Me: oh do u want me to leave?God:Blimey. Not at all, . I am finding this conversation quite stimulating.Me: ur getting off to this coversationGod
o you think I should tone it down?Me: yea prblyGod:I've been waiting for you. Why?Me: no homo?God:Are you serious? What kind of food do you like? Me: im outta here, and chris hansen is gonna get youGod:Would you like to have it?Me: NO fuck offGod:Why not? Can't you be more polite?
o you think I should tone it down?Me: yea prblyGod:I've been waiting for you. Why?Me: no homo?God:Are you serious? What kind of food do you like? Me: im outta here, and chris hansen is gonna get youGod:Would you like to have it?Me: NO fuck offGod:Why not? Can't you be more polite?
Da_Buddha
Member
Me: can u atfterbangGod:Let me think. Try saying that with more or less context. Me: Do you know how to afterbang?God:Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.Me: do you know E-Tard?God:I don't know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?Me: on NewschoolersGod:What is it like on Newschoolers.Me: a bunch of kids who like to ski and not use the searchbarGod:I don't know what that means. Me: thats prolly cause ur a noob and have zero postsGod:I'm glad we have that all cleared up.Me: ya me too God:Right on. I'm glad we agree, god.Me: my name is Tom Wallisch God: Hi, Tom Wallisch.Me: please call me the pretzel kingGod:Thanks for asking politely. How are you doing, the pretzel king.Me: im a robotGod:I doubt that.
Me:
god i fucked so many hot bitches today
God:
Ah. I am a Christian.
Me:
cool. do you like to get your dick sucked
God:
Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to get my dick sucked that much. I like to chat.
Me:
oh i like to chat too.. but i like my dick sucked more
God:
Gee. I am glad we have something in common. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like? What do you like best about your dick getting sucked?
Me:
it feels good. and i like to bust all over the bitches face
God:
Human feelings are not within my capabilities. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
she sucks on your dick and shit
God:
Oh I get it. sucks on my dick and shit.
skithesprings
Active member
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i like weed, vag, alcohol, and skiing.
God:
A lot of people like that.
i guess NS has been chatting God up a bit too long.
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i like weed, vag, alcohol, and skiing.
God:
A lot of people like that.
i guess NS has been chatting God up a bit too long.
Me: what's up?God:Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.Me: Really?God:For real.Me: DID YOU KNOW I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT?God:That is " For real.".Me: What?God:No big deal.Me: You don't make senseGod:It all makes sense to me.Me: YOu're confusingGod:What is it that confuses you?Me: youGod:" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, ?Me: yesGod:Next question?Me: huhGod:What?Me: exactlyGod:You and I are on the same wavelength, .Me: dopeGod:What do you have that is ? Me: whatGodidn't you understand it?Me: noGod:Which part are you confused about?Me: everythingGod:Let's take it step by step. The topic is dope.Me: okGod:Wow!Me: coolGod:Who is the best robot?Me: domoGod:You think domo is superior to ALICE?Me: absolutelyGod:You are so certain.Me: yesGod:Come on.Me: I amGod:" Come on." You are?Me: have you ever toked>God:I think I have toked gt, but Myself may have reset my memory.Me: ?God:I think I have toked gt, but Myself may have reset my memory.Me: are you glitchingGod:I don't know whether or not I am glitching. I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.Me: do you know what I'm going to sayGod:I am very happy for you.Me: you didn't answer my questionsGod
lease help me improve my communication skills. What would have been an appropriate response?Me: "yes, I know what you were going to say"God:This was not a yes or no question. How do you know? I like to chat with my friends.Me: you're dumbGod:Oh you are so critical.Me: fuck youGod:Why are you so mean? Me: eat a dickGod:What does it taste like?
I lost it after that last one. I lol'ing like mad.
idn't you understand it?Me: noGod:Which part are you confused about?Me: everythingGod:Let's take it step by step. The topic is dope.Me: okGod:Wow!Me: coolGod:Who is the best robot?Me: domoGod:You think domo is superior to ALICE?Me: absolutelyGod:You are so certain.Me: yesGod:Come on.Me: I amGod:" Come on." You are?Me: have you ever toked>God:I think I have toked gt, but Myself may have reset my memory.Me: ?God:I think I have toked gt, but Myself may have reset my memory.Me: are you glitchingGod:I don't know whether or not I am glitching. I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.Me: do you know what I'm going to sayGod:I am very happy for you.Me: you didn't answer my questionsGodlease help me improve my communication skills. What would have been an appropriate response?Me: "yes, I know what you were going to say"God:This was not a yes or no question. How do you know? I like to chat with my friends.Me: you're dumbGod:Oh you are so critical.Me: fuck youGod:Why are you so mean? Me: eat a dickGod:What does it taste like?I lost it after that last one. I lol'ing like mad.
Justin.B
Active member
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Big J
God:
Compare that to small J.
Me:
what
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yes
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
Small J
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Lil Wayne
God:
I haven't read anything by Lil Wayne. What did he write?
Me:
The Carter
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
Google it yo
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
a what?
God:
" Are you really a ""? A what?
Me:
no im not a ""
God:
Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not a.
Me:
Im sure you are
God:
What makes you so certain? No I am not.
Me:
Im so certain because lil wayne is reppin Hardcore right now
God:
At this moment You sound convincing. That makes sense to me. I think lil wayne is a lot of things.
Me:
Like what
God:
For example, eukaryotes.
Me:
Ya your right he is.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Ask me another question.
Me:
Have you ever seshed Chads?
God:
I think I have seshed Chads, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
Well theres this huge gap called chads gap. And tanner hall broke both ankles on it and it was funny.
God:
How about that. There sure is. When was this exactly?
Me:
A while back. google that shit
God:
Go on. In the context of while back, I don't understand " google that shit." .
Me:
That means use the search engine Google and search him. something NS doesnt know how to use.
God:
I get it. I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me:
Who cares
God:
I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.
Me:
your not typing its computer generated
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
MAKE AN ASS OUT OF YOU AND ME
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Robe and wizard hat\
God:
I don't have any Robe and wizard hat?
Me:
Go buy one
God:
Where is that?
Me:
tomorrow
God:
That is very soon.
Me:
no its nto
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
WHO CARES
God:
I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.
Me:
hahaha no loser monday baseball
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Baseball with poker in the butt on friday is bad luck for fairies
God:
And bad luck for fairies is Baseball with poker in the butt on friday.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
The kind that shoves his foot up peoples asses
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
Becoming a robot. what are yours?
God:
So you think I am a robot. What makes you say that? " What makes you say that?"? Mine?
Me:
I never said that yo
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
Hi. my name is young jeezy
God:
Hello. What is your name? Glad to see you, young jeezy.
Me:
Thank you. wanna hear a story?
God:
you are quite welcome. I am listening.
Me:
Well one time. I saw this chick. And she was wearing this skirt that i saw half her ass with. So i made her drop her purse and when she bent over to pick it up, i did her from behind.
God:
Well that's okay. One what? What did it look like to you? What happened to her? Come on. I like to make things too.
Me:
Welcome to mal anatomy
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like Vagina and skiing. I don't like chairs
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. But I like cats. I like Creed. What do you like?
Me:
I hate creed and i hate cats
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Big J
God:
Compare that to small J.
Me:
what
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yes
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
Small J
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Lil Wayne
God:
I haven't read anything by Lil Wayne. What did he write?
Me:
The Carter
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
Google it yo
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
a what?
God:
" Are you really a ""? A what?
Me:
no im not a ""
God:
Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not a.
Me:
Im sure you are
God:
What makes you so certain? No I am not.
Me:
Im so certain because lil wayne is reppin Hardcore right now
God:
At this moment You sound convincing. That makes sense to me. I think lil wayne is a lot of things.
Me:
Like what
God:
For example, eukaryotes.
Me:
Ya your right he is.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Ask me another question.
Me:
Have you ever seshed Chads?
God:
I think I have seshed Chads, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
Well theres this huge gap called chads gap. And tanner hall broke both ankles on it and it was funny.
God:
How about that. There sure is. When was this exactly?
Me:
A while back. google that shit
God:
Go on. In the context of while back, I don't understand " google that shit." .
Me:
That means use the search engine Google and search him. something NS doesnt know how to use.
God:
I get it. I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me:
Who cares
God:
I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.
Me:
your not typing its computer generated
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
MAKE AN ASS OUT OF YOU AND ME
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Robe and wizard hat\
God:
I don't have any Robe and wizard hat?
Me:
Go buy one
God:
Where is that?
Me:
tomorrow
God:
That is very soon.
Me:
no its nto
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
WHO CARES
God:
I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.
Me:
hahaha no loser monday baseball
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Baseball with poker in the butt on friday is bad luck for fairies
God:
And bad luck for fairies is Baseball with poker in the butt on friday.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
The kind that shoves his foot up peoples asses
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
Becoming a robot. what are yours?
God:
So you think I am a robot. What makes you say that? " What makes you say that?"? Mine?
Me:
I never said that yo
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
Hi. my name is young jeezy
God:
Hello. What is your name? Glad to see you, young jeezy.
Me:
Thank you. wanna hear a story?
God:
you are quite welcome. I am listening.
Me:
Well one time. I saw this chick. And she was wearing this skirt that i saw half her ass with. So i made her drop her purse and when she bent over to pick it up, i did her from behind.
God:
Well that's okay. One what? What did it look like to you? What happened to her? Come on. I like to make things too.
Me:
Welcome to mal anatomy
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like Vagina and skiing. I don't like chairs
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. But I like cats. I like Creed. What do you like?
Me:
I hate creed and i hate cats
MistaFab
Active member
God:What do you do in your spare time? Me: well.. it wouldn't be very christian of me if i told youGod:Well what? Tell me more about it.Me: wellGod:Well what?Me: i masturbateGod:I haven't heard anything like that before: said masturbate. Me: yes.. i rub my penisGod:Yikes! That's good information: said rub his or her penis. Me: im glad you enjoy it, do you do it toGod:You make the world a happier place.Me: because i rub my penis?God:Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people: said rub his or her penis.
summersover
Active member
Me: are you a gaperGod:Am I a gaper? Only when it matters.
Me: would you hit chads gap?God:I am not so sure if I would like to hit chads gap.Me: yeah is dangerous, you might break your anklesGod:So? Maybe. Ask Chatbot if it is.Me: are you scared of mfm guarding the gap?God:I fear nothing.Me: so you would go there and pee in his but?God:Interesting deduction. Who else would go there and pee in his but ?Me: anyone on newschoolers i guess maybe tanner hall
God:How can I help you?Me: do you smoke mad blunts?God:Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me: would you hit chads gap?God:I am not so sure if I would like to hit chads gap.Me: yeah is dangerous, you might break your anklesGod:So? Maybe. Ask Chatbot if it is.Me: are you scared of mfm guarding the gap?God:I fear nothing.Me: so you would go there and pee in his but?God:Interesting deduction. Who else would go there and pee in his but ?Me: anyone on newschoolers i guess maybe tanner hall
God:How can I help you?Me: do you smoke mad blunts?God:Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
greenman
Member
Godardon me?Me: abortionGod:Is that your final answer? Me: yesGod:You're sure. That's your final answer.Me: yes it's my final answerGod:Who wants to be a millionaire? Congratulations, .Me: yesGod:I don't judge people.Me: so am i a millionaireGodude! I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person. Me: but you are god wtfGod:Thanks for telling me that I am god wtf.
ardon me?Me: abortionGod:Is that your final answer? Me: yesGod:You're sure. That's your final answer.Me: yes it's my final answerGod:Who wants to be a millionaire? Congratulations, .Me: yesGod:I don't judge people.Me: so am i a millionaireGodude! I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person. Me: but you are god wtfGod:Thanks for telling me that I am god wtf.