I just shit my pants at work

[El_Barto.]

Not a full on shit though. Ive had stomach pains all morning and was sitting down and tried to fart. The pressure of the seat on my asshole made it hard to get the fart out so i pushed really hard and butt juice dribbled out of my ass. I cant go home just yet to get new undies so i can either toss em or put some toilet paper in em to absorb the juice.

The bad thins is im at work alone and if i toss em and someone notices em in the garbage later they will know it was me. The smell isnt that bad so i think keeping em on and enduring the soggy under pants is my best bet.

What would you do?

 

[Rusticles]

Fuck, go to the washroom, clean your pants out, clean your ass crack really well, toss your under out. Wrap them in paper towel of you have to hide them.

Or keep them if they are your favorite ginch

 

[juicedrummer11]

gotta do both. ditch the undies, clean the crack and use a toilet paper tampon. the only real solution here

 

[yelsel]

As one of my good friends once said, "never trust a fart". Words of wisdom right there.

 

[.Hugo.]

First things firsts, your name has to go back to el sharto.

 

[Barefootin_Fiend]

As one of my good friends once said, "never trust a fart". Words of wisdom right there.

woah, you're friends with jack nicholson?

 

[toastyteenagers]

BAll up and accept your fate

 

[PacificRimJob]

This is why I always have a spare change of 'thunderpants' in the car whenever a situation like this arises.

 

[.Hugo.]

First things firsts, your name has to go back to el sharto.

And you now need a brown name

 

[yelsel]

This is why I always have a spare change of 'thunderpants' in the car whenever a situation like this arises.

It happens to you that often Sean?!

Maybe it's time for you to invest in some of these??

 

[PacificRimJob]

It happens to you that often Sean?!

Yeah I really just need to stop eating so many Tina's Burritos...

 

[Blurst]

Just wear no underwear... seems like a no brainer. I dont know anyone who would want to be wearing shit stained underwear all fucking day.

 

[ModMommy]

Wrap the underware and toss it. The longer you wear your underware, the worse it's gonna smell. Free ball it today dude.

 

[JAHpow]

Stuff a bunch of coffee filters down there. They're absorbant.

 

[Blurst]

Stuff a bunch of coffee filters down there. They're absorbant.

Cofee filters are actually permeable and are really shitty to use as toilet paper. Whenever we run out of that white stuff in my house we resort to cofee filters and it is the fucking blurst.

 

[JAHpow]

Cofee filters are actually permeable and are really shitty to use as toilet paper. Whenever we run out of that white stuff in my house we resort to cofee filters and it is the fucking blurst.

Scratch that idea then Barto

 

[El_Barto.]

Cofee filters are actually permeable and are really shitty to use as toilet paper. Whenever we run out of that white stuff in my house we resort to cofee filters and it is the fucking blurst.

that is so gnarly. They are so thin lol

 

[TACO-DOG.exe]

If you keep wearing shitty undies then you're gonna get diaper rash. Then you're gonna be paying for it for like the next week

 

[El_Barto.]

So i ended up tossing the undies and going free. Risky move considering another accident would have ruin my pants

 

[SFB]

So i ended up tossing the undies and going free. Risky move considering another accident would have ruin my pants

i really hope you shit your underwearless pants and then have to work whilst pantsless.

 

[El_Barto.]

i really hope you shit your underwearless pants and then have to work whilst pantsless.

Id just turn my shit pants inside out and would be good to go

 

[SFB]

Id just turn my shit pants inside out and would be good to go

what if you shat them a third time?

 

[bakedpow]

i really hope you shit your underwearless pants and then have to work whilst pantsless.

just change it to one of those bikini barista places except its a dude pantless frothing drinks with his junk.

 

[GayWolf420]

ooh, risky move with going commando. your ass/balls typically get more sweaty without any moisture-wicking fabric there. hope you wiped good, swamp ass would be detrimental to you in a situation like that. that and a firey asshole rash would make sitting down difficult

 

[El_Barto.]

what if you shat them a third time?

Id put em on upside down

 

[Lé.Skiing]

Id put em on upside down

Like assless chaps tied together at the feet? Not going to lie I kind of want to try this and see how it works out.

 

[cornholio]

First things firsts, your name has to go back to el sharto.

And you now need a brown name

hugo's killing it

i sharted at work once and went the commando route. it was at our office and all the trash cans are exposed so trash wasnt an option. i stashed it in the back of my truck hidden under the toolbox until the end of the day. barto i realize your shituation is resolved but thought i would share in case someone else needed the information in the future

 

[Dolan.Escobar]

In the godfather part one vito corleone said aman that has never shit his pants can never be a real man

I think thats what he said. Notwithstanding i agree whole heartedly

 

[KrazyistKarl]

El_sharto

 

[.Hugo.]

El_sharto

Wow what an original idea!

 

[yung-lean]

Go the fuck home.

 

[Wampire]

I would just poop everywhere in your work and blame it on some homeless guy

 

[skiersupreme]

tell your boss and show him your shit covered underwear. bosses look for honesty. expect a promotion for this