How to make love to your board

i treat my skis like objects. i snapped one of them in half. could never do that to a woman; dicks too small.
 
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I thought I was the only one who named my board. Unfortunatly another guy took mine while I had my back turned, I'll have to go back for my old one who is super beat up for the rest of the season.
No seriously, if I ever see the kid who stole my board I'll run them over.
 
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