How to be the best hockey player

kevmac

kevmac

Member
so at hockey practice today we started talking like we were canadian hoping it would help us get better and it did try it some time
 
You break their spirit. Make them feel like garbage, like scum. Then you attack, crush their bones and crack their skulls. Put them into the wall, over the wall, and through the wall. Crack some ice, crack some pads, crack some helmets. Do what it takes to win, no regrets, no rules.
 
And slit their jugular with your skate blade.

But seriously I bet I'm better than you at hockey.
 
-wear Bass Fish Pro hats-chew lots of dip

-be a douche

-work out a lot

-play hockey from the age of 3

-have lots of money

-have lots of connections (mostly from your parents)

-drink tons of unnecessary protein shakes

-be coordinated

you'll be drafted in no time.
 
Haha, that was aimed at OP dude, kind of confusing how I posted it now that I look back.
 
kids above me got it down

also,

-only hang out with hockey kids in a giant group

my schools hockey team all brought rollerblades and what not to school to skate in our rink before the season starts (ice gets taken down and put up every year).

so on weekend nights (boarding school) they get in a giant group, slip on rollerblades, hop on razor scooters, bikes, longboards and i think one kid had a ripstick.... and they skate around campus in a giant pack dipping and being wicked loud.

on occasion they go mess with people who are trying to hook up haha

i haven't been on the receiving side of any of their pranks so i find them fucking hilarious.
 
Coming from a canadian, gotta have that back coiffe

Erik-Karlsson-is-awesome.jpg
 
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