I understand where you are coming from. I have always had the fear as well. After a while the pent up aggression of not doing a trick that I knew I could do/wanted to try overcame the fear of throwing it. Still, when I go to bed the night before skiing I imagine myself throwing a steezy blunt spin over a big and its feels great. Then I get to the in run in the morning and I get all nervous and I am like fuuuck this I'ma gonna fuck myself up. So I have been developing a method that has been working for the last couple seasons. First, which is an obvious one that everyone does, I warm up on small stuff and get a feel for my spins. Then I usually follow one of my better friends into the jump and do some old school trick. Once I am comfortable with the feature, I talk myself through it. I tell myself "okay, you've got the speed. you can stomp the fuck out of this shit. It's gonna feel so fucking good and I am going to be a fucking boss. My shit is hot fire. I fucking got this one in the bag. Fuck it." Then I drop and think that same thing with the trick in the back of my mind. Right before the lip my thoughts switch places with the trick as my primary focus. But in the back of my mind I am still psyching myself up. Then when I am landing there are three very fast thoughts I have. Either "Oh yeah this shit is coming around perfect I am going to afterbang as hard as I can" or "Holy fuck you better get this to your feet somehow oh my god I landed that was sketchy" or "fuck fuck fuck get it around get it around uh oh this is going to hurt a bit"