Help me get back at my roommate

A

An10a_Eng

Active member
so a few weeks ago my cock bag roommate threw a party and absolutely trashed the house, scratched the hardwood floors, puked all over my bathroom, spilled shit everywhere, etc etc and didnt clean any of it up. so since he didnt bother to clean up, i blocked his computer, ipod, and xbox (plays 6 - 10 hours of COD a day) from using my wireless router. so he has no access to internet at the house because the cable modem is locked in my room so he cant plug it. i also put key switches on the stereo/amp, washer/dryer, and the big screen/cable box in the living room (he doesnt have cable in his room so he can only watch tv up there). seeing as my other two roommates and i paid for or brought all of the above items, we are simply not letting him use our things anymore for fear of him trashing them like he did the house. clearly none of this is an act of aggression. well a few days ago i go out to leave for work and i have a flat. my tires have road hazard protection, no big deal. i took the tire in to goodyear and they cant find a leak. they filled it up and sent me on my merry way. next morning, same thing. so i filled it up and then i got clever. i had previously used an arduino and cellular module to build circuits capable of sending text messages. i put an IR proximity sensor between the spokes on the tire and designed the circuit to text me as well as trigger a camera to take a picture every 5 seconds whenever anything got closer than 6 inches to the tire. that night i got a text at about 3 30. i go out and find that fucker letting the air out of my tire. we got into a heated argument and he just went and locked himself in his room.
so now i want revenge. so far i have taken a syringe and injected all of his yogurts and applesauce (thats all he eats) with vinegar, i plan on calling the cops for underage drinking at his next party. hes a junior in college and has half high schoolers and half freshman at all of his parties. its sad. i dont want to actually damage or break anything but i want to piss the fuck head off. so i am calling on you NS, what else could i do to piss him off before he moves out in 3 weeks?
 
one more detail. he is trying to be a chemical engineer and is currently taking ochem 1 for the third time. just thought youd like to know how stupid he is
 
holy shit you already have a ton of shit covered, I liked the vinegar in the yoghurt idea, as well as no cable. Fuck, now that I think about it, I dont think I can come up with anything more creative than that
 
1.) Buy a fleshlight.

2.) Fill fleshlight with icy hot.

3.) Give him said fleshlight as peace offering.

4.) ??????

5.) Profit!
 
itching powder in his swim trunks before he goes to work? sitting on a stand wide open in public with itchy junk might fuck with him
 
That is so sick. You should make something so that whenever he leaves his room you have an airhorn go off and just fuck his shit. But make sure you soundproof your room.
 
change the lock on all the doors and give your and your good roomates the good key, and he will still have the bad key. he wont be able to get in, it will piss him off so badly
 
hahahaha i laughed so hard when i saw that. that and i got a message saying to replace his pillows with random limbs of road kill
 
Does he have a car?

If so... open up the hood and unplug the spark plug wires just enough that they won't fire but they still look like they are connected. It won't hurt his car but it will royally fuck him up if he has to be anywhere at a certain time.
 
Cyphon gas from his car. It's a win-win situation. He has no gas and it is a huge inconvenience, and you get free gas
 
If he has a car, and you can get in it, you can pop off the air conditioning vents and place little mounds of baby powder in each one. Then turn the knobs so they are on full blast and just the upper vents. It's classic, but I've never done, or seen it done in person before. It would be awesome.
 
Don't do a thing until he moves out. Except the cops for the parties. Do that.

Get a compressor that will plug into the cigarette lighter of your car so that you can just fill your tires when he flattens them. Just ignore him for the next few weeks. Don't even talk to him.

But the day before he starts moving out, hide a few frozen prawns in his stuff. Handles of luggage, inside his XBOX, in his shampoo bottle, in the trunk of his car, everywhere. Hell, even take his mouse apart and put one in there if you can. When they start to rot and really stink, he will be miles away.
 
do everything said in this thread. he earned it.

also its cliche but you could put nair in his shampoo. that would piss him off.
 
I saw this in another thread but think it is completely appropriate for this one. You let the air out of his tire and then use a special tool to let just a small amount of oil in. Then after you put the oil in you pump up the tire again. If you can do this his car will shake like crazy whenever he drives and eventually cause things to fall apart
 
put a small scratch in the game with a pin all around the outside if fucks with the xbox and goes disk unreadable. or put a python in his car your choice
 
cut a hole in his mattress and insert a couple frozen fish or unfrozen whatever you fancy, then proceed to sew up the hole, you have to make sure its small. Do it a week or the night before he leaves so his mattress will smell like absolute shit resulting in one of two things, new mattress = $$$$ or a smelly mattress = horrible sleeps and not getting laid.
 
You're only gonna make the last three weeks worse on yourself if you keep trying to get back. Undoubtedly he will also keep coming up with more idiotic ways to make your life miserable.
 
Call the cops and report him for tampering with private property and reckless endangerment. The video will put him in jail if you want.
If you just want to prank him, shut off the fuses to his room at random times. Put NAIR in his shampoo bottle, icy hot on his mattress, superglue his lamp or bed to his ceiling, or if you really wanna be mean, a drop of diluted bengay water in his contact lens solution (if he has them). Get a secondary lock on your door that locks on from the outside and just lock him in the house when you leave.
 
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