Help me bully my roommate

Sharknuts.

Sharknuts.

Member
My roommate is being a total douche. He is going through a hardo phase right now and its starting to bother the living shit out of me. (He is about 5'4" so it's very ironic that he is acting like Clint Eastwood.)

I'm running out of ideas for names to call him to give him a hard time about acting tough.

So I turn to the clever, witty shit heads on NSG and ask for your help to give my roommate shit.

K+ for good shit
 
Have you asked him to just respect you and your space/privacy/stuff? I'm not totally sure why what he's doing is any of your business.
 
Get rid of all of the media in your room, (movies, games, netflix) and replace all of it with a singular copy of Dolphin Tale. That ought to soften the shit out of him.
 
Start calling him "Lord Farquaad"

Shrek_lord_farquaad.jpg
 
Just annoy him back. eat his food, wear his clothes, use his computer, If he has something you like use it.

Come Home at like 3am and have a rave

Invest in some speakers and play this song 24/7

you can leave your room and still keep it playing with a youtube with out hitting replay

http://www.tubereplay.com/
 
Just do subtle shit that he'll be passive aggressive about...

Flip the roll of toilet paper so it faces the other way

Leave shit in the middle of the hall

Put an annoy-a-tron or w.e. somewhere in his room

Before you leave go into the bathroom and break open a stink bomb, don't close the door or turn a fan on after you leave
 
1. get an ignant friend to come over

2. ignant friend gets ignant

3.have your ignant friend pee on his pillow

4. have your ignant friend steal his skateboard

5.profit

6.????
 
find or make one of those signs that say "you must be this tall to do whatever" and put it in the bathroom or the kitchen and put to use the toilet or microwave.
 
Beat him up. Or convince him that his toughboy ego is a cover-up for his insecurities and small dick. True or not he'll feel dumb.
 
13224443:Humps said:
find or make one of those signs that say "you must be this tall to do whatever" and put it in the bathroom or the kitchen and put to use the toilet or microwave.
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Now I wish a I had a short roommate to do this to.
 
Because he's a manlet, subtly say things like

"when will they learn?"

or "Short man syndrome"

I actually don't care about height. I think people only pick up on height if they're a douche, same with Lanky people who aren't nice.
 
13224443:Humps said:
find or make one of those signs that say "you must be this tall to do whatever" and put it in the bathroom or the kitchen and put to use the toilet or microwave.
Click to expand...

Absolutely golden!
 
OP is lame. These threads of "My roommate hurt my feelings and I want to be a douche to him but I'm not even capable of coming up with original thoughts" are lame.

Grow a pair, talk to your roommate, work out your problems, and carry on living.

This isn't middle school OP. If you're going to be a dick at least figure something out on your own.
 
I'm going to assume you are a poor college student. Go to walmart and buy beans they are dirt cheap. Eat those instead of ramen. Blow the fuck out of the place with your farts.
 
13224530:theabortionator said:
OP is lame. These threads of "My roommate hurt my feelings and I want to be a douche to him but I'm not even capable of coming up with original thoughts" are lame.

Grow a pair, talk to your roommate, work out your problems, and carry on living.

This isn't middle school OP. If you're going to be a dick at least figure something out on your own.
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*1000 This. NS is always so passive aggressive about their roommate issue. Things will only get worse if you go behind his back everyday.
 
Poor boiling water on his dick tonight while he is asleep and then act like you're asleep too. He will most likely develop erectile dysfunction from the burns. Call him floppy.He will no longer be a "hardo".
 
Also I just realized it's november. This is one of those "I miss living at home and I'm struggling to learn how to live with other people" threads.

You'll figure it out. If not just rent yourself a studio for next year and have your own spot again. Life is definitely easier if you figure out how to deal with people though. You can take some steps to avoid them, but there are a lot of people walking around the world these days and it's pretty likely you're going to run into some. You might not even like all of them, and even worse you might have to deal with people that you don't like.

+ vibes to OP in his time of need.

Seriously though, always a few of these threads at the start of a new college year.
 
My roomate just got REALLY fucking mad at me for having a Dart Race Belt Fight tournament for an ultimate frisbee rookie party in his bedroom while he was away, so pretty all much just do that and you will win.
 
Grow some balls and quit acting like an immature child by telling him how you really feel about his actions.... by shitting on his bed.
 
Go to the pet store, buy a tarantula and huge snake, put them in his room out of a cage. See how much of a hard ass he is then.
 
13225520:Nzeskibro said:
Can't annoy if you if hes dead, nomsayin OP?
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Some colleges will even give you a 4.0 if your roommate dies or kills themselves.
 
Buy a whole bunch of sheep and let them all live in your apartment.

He'll either get really pissed and move out, or he will stop being a douche and fall in love with one of the sheep.

Your move OP
 
13224530:theabortionator said:
OP is lame. These threads of "My roommate hurt my feelings and I want to be a douche to him but I'm not even capable of coming up with original thoughts" are lame.

Grow a pair, talk to your roommate, work out your problems, and carry on living.

This isn't middle school OP. If you're going to be a dick at least figure something out on your own.
Click to expand...

I'm just looking to give him a hard time. He's my friend and we carry on living just fine. I'm just looking to have some fun and play around. Don't take shit so seriously ya douche.
 
13225665:Sharknuts. said:
I'm just looking to give him a hard time. He's my friend and we carry on living just fine. I'm just looking to have some fun and play around. Don't take shit so seriously ya douche.
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Haha this thread. I don't even understand what is going on anymore. I'm out.
 
13225665:Sharknuts. said:
I'm just looking to give him a hard time. He's my friend and we carry on living just fine. I'm just looking to have some fun and play around. Don't take shit so seriously ya douche.
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Lol. Grow a pair and talk to him or boof some drugs and become even mildly creative. Youre failing on all fronts here.

Errrmahhgerd college is so hard. I have to live with a stranger and my mom isnt here to comfort me and make things alright.

;)
 
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