Help: how to get scumbag off my bed

K

Kekambas.

Member
So my roommate is cool, but he has this scummy ass friend who I swear only showers once a week. Whenever I walk into my room this kid is always on my bed, and sometimes he even gets under my blankets.

What can I do to get this kid to not be in or on my bed...like putting something in my bed or something like that. Need creative ideas

Asking him doesn't work I've told him multiple times to not be in my bed....it's the top bunk too...

Thanks
 
Yeah i've only tried this about 15 times, i think he's mentally retarded. He gets out of my bed when i walk into the room and acts like i didn't just see him in it.
 
yeah i was thinking about that, but would it go through a comforter? Rusty nails might be too far...also, i would probably forget they were in there.
 
cum all over your sheets. like absurd amounts of cum. you might need to outsource some guys to cum on your bed but, it would be worth it
 
Undo all the screws holding the top bunk up. When he gets in it next time he will fall and break his neck. Then you come into the room and pee on his head while he's writhing in pain on the ground
 
This guy has already proven he holds all the power in your relationship. He essentially owns you now and doesn't have to do a thing you say. Why? Because he doesn't respect you, otherwise he would stay off your bed. You have two choices. The first is just to let it keep happening, same as it ever was. The second is to get some fucking power back and unfortunately your only choice is physical violence. If you want things to change you are going to have to try and beat the shit out of him next time he is in your bed. Then repeat this until he realizes that if he is in your bed you two are going to scrap. You may lose but you will probably gain some respect back and for him laying in your bed isn't worth having to take a few punches.

Your roommate is also an asshole.
 
Do a better job of telling him to get out of your shit. Tell your roomate to keep his friends out of your stuff.

If this kid is on your bed when you come in tell him to gtfo of your room.

Your in college. Handle it like an adult, there will be far worse problems later in life.
 
come on, dude. you cant actually get this dude out of your bed? next time he is in the top bunk just pull his ass off the bed.
 
when you put it like that, everything about this is actually hilarious. at first i was like damn this is kind of a shitty situation, and now i'm like

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Easy. Out scum him. Get so incredibly dirty that he will think your bed is gross and will be disgusted by it and will then never go near it again.
 
Here are some options

1. Harvest bed bugs and place them in your bed

2. Kill him

3. Kill his dog

4. Kill his dreams

5. Take an engineering course. Cut a hole in a wall that can open and spring load one end of his bed to shoot him out the window(If it's 3rd floor or higher)

6. Call the police and press charges

7. Talk to a grief counselor

8. Get wasted and rollerblade through the cafeteria naked

9. Start painting a landscape, take your roommate his friend and any other problems and make them into birds.

10. Buy a pair of skiblades

11. Build a mini ramp in your dorm room

12. Bet it all on black

13. Invest in a keg and lay a slip n slide in the dorm hallway

14. Get some spray paint and cardboard and make a body kit for your car

15. Join christian mingle

16. Take fencing lessons

17. Get a pet cat

18. Run 6 miles

19. Call your parents and tell them you got a girl pregnant

20. Take a shit in the hallway

21. Buy a ghostbusters costume and wear it for the rest of the semester.

22. Smoke cigarettes till the day you die

23. Get some new speakers and play justin biebers greatest hits at full volume every night.

24. Buy a hot plate and cook breakfast at a different random outlet around campus everyday

25. Start a new fashion trend

 
get a really good sleeping bag that has a real low temp rating so hopefully he gets in it and you can cable tie him in it (leave him a hole to breathe), it will be like an oven.
 
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