funny poo story

hoodratz47

hoodratz47

Active member
yes i know alpantalk is the king of the doo doo stories but i think this one is good.

so i was at work at t-line.. and i had to go shit.. so i was dooing my thing and i hear this guy come in .. runs in the stall next to me and starts.. 'rage shitting' he was like screaming shitting and rapidly flushing at the same time and im ont eh other stall laugin my ass off.. like sayign.. HOLY FUCK.... and the guy is like yeah...... wow... damn..... and it was funny casu he had and austrain accent./

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Matty Jeronimo: maybe he will give us magic fairy dust

Matty Jeronimo: skiing fairy dust of course
 
that's funny.

I had diahrea at work the other day.

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i bet you felt a connection because you were dumping at the same time, i would have

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one time in florida i had to shit really bad and then i stopped at a rest station and took the biggest dump of my life, it was awesome

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when i was little i swallowed a penny and saw it in my poop.

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...

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'If i was a slutty white chick id rather have a 14 inch beast in my twat than a 6 inch white man cock' -Lateralis
 
on this one backpacking trip i had a bad case of the shits and i kept having to run into the bushes with my toilet paper, it sucked.

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yeah... but like.. he was shitting for like a 5 minuts.. and he was flushing like every other second... and he was moaning ahd shit.... i was laughin sooooo hard.. and there was th.is old guy taking a leak and he was like.. goddamn son

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Matty Jeronimo: maybe he will give us magic fairy dust

Matty Jeronimo: skiing fairy dust of course
 
who the hell is IPOT?

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...

BUM LOVING FOR LIFE!

'If i was a slutty white chick id rather have a 14 inch beast in my twat than a 6 inch white man cock' -Lateralis
 
Check out the Ride snowboards catalog for this year. It has about 20 different shits described in it. They are hilarius. I think the one you heard would fall under the born again dump. You prey to god that if you ever make it through the dump you'll take up religion.

I think rails in general are just a phase. - Anthony Boronowski
 
they guy was havinga fun tim ewith hit.. he was like whacking off also and shit.. i was laughin out louf soo ohard

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Matty Jeronimo: maybe he will give us magic fairy dust

Matty Jeronimo: skiing fairy dust of course
 
ahaahhaha sharting sucks

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i was doing some work (planting trees) at some person house and needed to take a dump so i asked her if could use the bathroom. I went in there and took a huge dump and stunk up the place.

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ahhahahaha, this thread is really funny, i don't ahve any funny shit storys right now, maybe ill remember one later and post it

go listen to some emo. those whiny guys feel your pain.-linemaverick5...
 
at work i usually wait untill people start coming in to start their shift and they have to get changed. then i take a huge dump and they have to change in there. ive done it several times

Peter: What the hell did you do?

Brian: Me? Who the hell buys a novelty fire extinguisher?

Peter: I'll tell you who. Someone who cares enough about physical comedy to put his whole family at risk.
 
this is the funniest poo story ever. everytime i think about it i cant help but laugh for hours.

anyways, when i was in like 4th or 5th grade i had to go to the bathroom. you know back in elemtary school you gotta beg and act like the pee is coming out, blah blah, so i got to go. i walk into the bathroom which seems to be empty. i walk past the stalls and then to the opening of the room where the urnals are. and there, righ tin the middle of the row of urnals is a kid shitting. IN A URNAL. hes staring at the ground, but i guess he could 'feel' me in the room, so he looks up. i hear him fart/poo, and he is staring at me. then he started to cry.

HE WAS SHITTING IN A URNAL, and cried when he saw me. i dont know why but it was one of the funniest things ive ever seen in my life. afterwards, my friends didnt believe me so we went to the bathroom and sure enough, there was the poop in the urnal.

teem bousquet
 
i have another funny poo story. i was at the mall and me and friend went to the bathroom together to piss like a couple of teenage girls. so were walking into the bathroom all of a sudden we hear this guy grunting. my friend is obsessed with shitting (dont ask why) so he thought this was hilarious. little did we know it was about to get better. about 3 seconds after the grunting we heard a fart, and we heard the shit hit the water. i ran out of the bathroom trying not to laugh and hit like 2 people, my friend just stood there dying in the bathroom. he ran out screaming 'i heard him shit' ohhh good times

teem bousquet
 
hahaha that made me laugh, the other day at bugaboo creek i was taking a shit and i had two guys on each side of me, prettyyf cuking interesting shit

 
Have you guys seen Harold and Kumar? Battleshits! ahhaha great. I have a story too! So i'm on a plane back from France. I think I ate something bad on the plane or something...anyways. I live in Toronto and the flight stopped at Montreal to drop people off before going to Toronto. I was like I kind of have to go, but I can wait until we get to the airport. It takes about an hour and a half to get to Toronto. I sleep for maybe 40 mins and then I wake up. Turbulance! I was having such a problem holding in my shit! And the plane was rocking and all this shit. They had those seatbelt signs on so I couldn't get out either! And then we started to land which took 15mins. Oh man once the plane started to slow from the landing I ran to the plane washroom. Felt soooo good! And then I think that the power doesn't work or something after they shut down the engines, so, I didn't have a chance to flush my stuff. And someone was waiting to go too. hahaha.

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^ahahaha imagine if you could clog an airline toilet.

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mmmm, i give thta one a 7, a little more description is needed.

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wow i have another one. a few weeks ago me and my buddies were out on the lake just chillin doing some tubing. well, one of friends decided he wanted to get drunk. then he decided he had to shit really bad, so he took a dump in the lake and some of it floated to the top and i couldnt stop laughing

teem bousquet
 
yeah, i'm a big fan of the 'aqua dump' with no spoace between your ass and the water, you can lay an entire load in one piece of poo. one time i left (i shit you not) a 3 and a half foot deuce. it was awesome. all my friends that were around had to come and see cuz' they didn't believe me.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill riding on an elephant. Jill got down to help Jack off the elephant.

 
AHHHHHH...this shit is great.

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hahahah thiss thread is the best. one time when i was like 5 i was taking a bath and had to fart so i farted but it was really crap and took a shit in the tub when it was full and they were just floating around.

my dog ate some candy once and the rappers too and i was outside the next day and there was a pile o shit that had twix rappers stuck in it.

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haha sconny made a pun

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one of my friends came over once and had to go to the bathroom. i dont know what he ate, but we had to open all the windows in the bathroom, and light a few matches. however, we could not get the poo stains off of the toilet bowl.

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there was this kis at my sc hool named the brown bomber.. hed shit int eh urinals and then pick up his poo witha paper towel and throw it on the wals and write his name in feacal offaul...... but he got caught shittin in the snik by the janitor.. got his ass kicked out of school.. it was funy casue i went in one time while he was trowhing shit... he was like.. soo chill aobu ti not evern the fact he was playing with i his own doo doo... h ewas you wanna help.. and i was.. wow mike your fucked up...

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Matty Jeronimo: maybe he will give us magic fairy dust

Matty Jeronimo: skiing fairy dust of course
 
^ so share them with us

poo stories never get old

i was biking in the woods and i had to poo and then i had to wipe my ass with leaves and it happend twice in the same place

 
one time my doggy ate a pink crayon and his poop was pink and then he ate a green crayon and his poop was green. it was nasty, but very colorful

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someone say sumthin?
 
i had to lay one down the other night when i was walking home. i got into my friends house thinking nobody was home. grabbed the newspaper and got to business. then his hot roomate walked in on it. that sucked. as it happened, the tp was out also. she got me some. i felt like a knob

 
OH DUDE I AM THE SAME WAY, i will be in the bathroom or shiting and here them shit and try and push and laugh my ass off, but get outa the bathroom before they do, its so funny

anyway good story i laughed

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my one friend (to remain anonymous due to his fame) used to drop duece on paper towels at McD's and then smear it all up in the electric hand dryer so that the next guy to wash his hands and try to dry 'em would get his hands full of dookie. he did this at every McD's all the way from the Wisco to Colorado one year, and let me tell you, they stopped at a bunch of McD's.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill riding on an elephant. Jill got down to help Jack off the elephant.

 
a kid at my old middle school was called the crap crusader. He would shit all over. he shit in my english teachers desk. that was funny as hell.

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OH MY GOD HAHAHA^

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quagmire:'We got to do something.'

peter:'Dont worry i got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if i even began to know what I am talking about.

 
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.If my toes were made of broccoli I would rule the world.
 
ahhaha^

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quagmire:'We got to do something.'

peter:'Dont worry i got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if i even began to know what I am talking about.

dude i talked to them about it and they said 'our budget doesnt alow it' fuck that.....they just think im ugly-bristolrider

 
I'll tell you a story that happened a few years ago. My soccer team travelled down to stockton to play an away game. The game was right in the ghetto of that town. We've been in the car for a while, so a few of us had to take a shit. We ran over to the bathroom. I go inside and it is just thrashed. I've never seen a bathroom more foul than this one. The whole ground was covered in piss, shit was all over the walls, and it was just a concrete box (worse than some of the stuff i've seen in Mexico). The toilet was right in the center of the bathroom, there weren't any doors.. they were all ripped off. But I had to go, so I didn't care. Even though I was taking a shit and everyone in the bathroom could completely see me just sitting there on the toilet in the open. I look above me on the ceiling and see huge lines of toilet paper and long lines of shit stuck to the ceiling. I'm thinking what the hell? How did that get up there? Did someone grab all that shit and throw it on the ceiling? Thought it was pretty twisted. Anyhow, I finish. I wipe my ass with a paper bag (there wasn't any toilet paper in there, besides what was stuck on the ceiling). I go to flush the toilet. The whole toilet starts shaking. What the hell? A fountain as powerful as a fire hydrant shoots straight up. I got soaked and the force pushed me off the toilet onto the ground. The water shot straight up and was touching the ceiling.. So that's how it got covered in shit. I shit you not (pun). I was on the ground with my shorts down and completely soaked. I walked out and the coach said 'What the hell happened to you, boy?' Hahaha. I jumped into a pond after that.

Eat. Sleep. Breathe. Ski.

 
ahahaha^

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i have another one. my friend told me this. he was at CCD in like 7th grade, and had to shit. but the teacher would never let anyone go to the bathroom. he kept complainging and she kept saying no. so he finally decided shitting was more important then god so he ran out of the room. while h ewas running to the bath room he shit his pants. he looked up and the ceiling was like the ceiling in most schools, with the foamy removable tiles. so he took a tile off, took off his underwear and threw the poo-filled boxers into the ceiling.

teem bousquet
 
Haha I've got a good one I just remembered. My friends and I were boating around this lake and there is this bridge that we go jump off of sometimes. It's like 40 feet. So one of my friends decides he really wants to take a shit off the bridge. The next morning he take a big ol' heap of metamucil pretty early in the morning. By the time it was like 11 he really had to go. So we boated out to the bridge and quickly climbed up the latter. So he just leans his ass over the rail and tries hard to shit but he couldn't. He said he had stage fright and couldn't go if we were watching. So me and my other friend turned around. All the sudden we heard a big fart and quickly turned around just quick enough to see the nastiest liquidy shit ever. There was just like the brown sludge on the water and it almost hit our boat. Soo gross but really funny at the time.

I think rails in general are just a phase. - Anthony Boronowski
 
i hate when u feel like u got a huge one and then u push and u let a use fart rip and from the toilet bowl, it echos and makes the noise even loader, its awful if ur at a friends house, but wicked funny if no ones around

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