Funniest. Website. Ever.

chames

chames

Active member
fmylife.com

Definately a solid laugh no matter what.

Here are a few good quotes from it:

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

Enjoy ns!
 
alaskakid found it and showed it to me, and its not blocked at school!

Post up funny ones as you find them everybody.
 
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable

to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the

urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while

pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next

to me. FML
 
darn. should've searchbarred i guess.

anyhow.

Today, my mom took me to the doctor for my annual physical. Puberty still hasn't arrived, and the doctor seems concerned. Then he leaves the room, and leaves the door ajar. I overhear him discussing my undeveloped penis with my mom, and brings her in to show her 'the problem'. FML
 
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
 
such a funny site...could potentially get me into trouble though because i tend to read it on my blackberry during class haha, definitely have to stifle some LOLs
 
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to

have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every

single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of

the box: "love mom." FML

BAHAHAHAHAHA! I laughed for like 10 minutes.
 
Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

bahhahha
 
Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML
that is priceless.
 
Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year

researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an

autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice

until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML
 
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FMLhahaha
 
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

bahahahah. there goes a hour or soo...
 
Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML
 
omg, thats pretty much one of the funniest things i ever heard (even though you got to be careful with all these grammatically correct messages, thats kinda unusual in the inet, huh?) and my hands are still shaking
 
Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML
 
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idiot.
 
My bad for not searchbarring. But some people are just finding the site from this so its all good.

That one about the jesus pin through the condoms is pretty hilarious. Props on finding that hahahahaha
 
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