Fuck Im Stupid

shit if i had a decent looking girl as my neighbour i would wax dat ass till she show me what she want

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this one time i was at school and i had to pee alot of pee so i thought it would be a chalange to see if i could pee all over the tolit paper in everystall in the bathroom.. 4 stalls. anyways i winded up being able to do it and later that day i was givin a 400 doller ticket
 
that whould be the reason i would rather shit my pants then use a public washroom. Fuckin sick
 
ya, i lived in a house in college where i used to wait until i had access to a public restroom to shit. At least most public restrooms get cleaned daily...
 
just shaved my cat and gave him the lion hair cut where you leave on the mane and a little ball on the end of his tail. Did it in the tub, thought his hair clogged the drain, went and bought two bottles of drano and a snake, spent like 3 hours trying to fix the drain. Finally said fuck it, started taking showers and bucketing the water into the toliet afterward....just took a shower, and realized the fucking drain was closed the whole time. Came so close to calling a plumber, that woulda been great haha. but yeah Fuck, Im Stupid.
 
he was actually pretty down with it lol, even started purring a few times. He is so not like normal cats, plays fetch, walks on a leash, never scratches.
 
new years eve a couple years ago I decided to pull my friends on a GT racer behind my honda civic

we attached the rope to the bumper

start going and once I hit 30 KM/hour I hear a loud sound, look in my rearview, and my bumper is laying on the ground behind us

that was fun to pay for
 
this reminds me of one.

we got some fresh snow one night so me and some friends went and pulled eachother on skis/snowboards in a big parking lot in the university. we were there for about 2 hours pulling and drifting around the parking lot, apperantly when i was on the back we got up to 90k/h.

we got bored of that so we decided to just drift around for a bit, i was in the passenger seat with my 15 year old friend driving and my other friend filming from the middle of the lot. out of nowwhere we see flashing lights rollin up on us fast.

so my underaged friend jumps in to the back seat like a mexican jumping bean, the other one sprints towards the car as I try and hop in to the driver seat, honking the horn by accident.

luckily the po-9 let us go with no charges (we were facing about 900$ in fines and i would have lost my license). but if we got caught pulling skiers on the back with my 15 year old friend driving shit would have gone down.

overall some pretty retarded shit.
 
nice, how did you get off with no charges??

I also had some drifting mishaps where we were fooling around in an open parking lot/parks, but I was always the one in the passenger seat. I witnessed two of my friends end up with $400 stunting tickets on separate occasions. Damn cops are always out to ruin our harmless fun...
 
just really chill cops. they thought it was funny.

i "seemed like a nice boy" so they said I was all good, but they called my mom cause it was her car. they started crackin up on the phone
 
haha that's awesome. The few minor encounters with cops that I've had have never been "chill" :(
 
yesterday I was doing some shreddin, then me and my boys went to hit a sesh and I couldnt find my little bag of chron. I searched all my pockets and I thought it had somehow fallen out of my pants.

later when we were all ripped, we went to go eat dinner in the lodge. so I went to pay and pulled out 2 crumpled up 5s out of my pocket and hand it to the cute kitchen girl. all of a sudden she starts giggling and she says "I think this is yours..." and hands me my beeno. I couldnt find it earlier because it got mixed in with my money/goggle bag/ phone. I'm pretty lucky that she was chill about it (especially since I work there aswell). but if it was the kitchen manager or something I would have been so fucked. fuck, i'm stupid.
 
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