Ethical question

yojimbo

yojimbo

Active member
boy meets girl, girl has boyfriend. boy says hey i like this girl but she has boyfriend, so i'ma sit back and just be her friend. girl starts talking to boy about what an asshole boyfriend is and how unhappy she is. boy gives advice to girl about life and being young (20 years) and how one can't tie themselves down at such a ripe age. girl breaks up with boyfriend. boy says well shit, starts workin' on girl with more devious intentions than friendship. boyfriend saw messages containing said advice between boy and girl, flips out and thinks boy broke him and his girl up. did boy do something wrong here?
 
Obviously if the boyfriend played his role better, non of that would of happened and I say boy is in the clear.
 
thats what i figured. but some say its questionable due to the fact that boy's advice sorta led to girl breaking up with boyfreind.
 
It's definitely a gray area. The guy (I'm assuming it's you) had an interest in their breaking up and had something to gain, thus he wasn't objective. But fuck it, survival of the fittest. If the boyfriend didn't know how to keep her happy, then they shouldn't have been dating.
 
well thats kind of why the question is being asked. i've been cheated on by girlfreinds before and that feels shitty but there was no cheating in this situation and I don't see anything wrong. just cuz they were freinds doesnt mean its his fault they broke up, she was ready to break up with him months ago, but the boy still feels like a guilty asshole about the whole situation and isn't sure whether he did anything wrong by simply talking to this girl about how she was too young to try and make a relationship that is clearly not working work after months of fighting and unhappiness.
 
initially there was no interest in breaking them up. Simply giving some advice based on what had been previously experienced with relationships that haven't been working for months. It was completley objective as the advice given was to do what made her happy and not, if you break up with this dude you'll be happier. it was pretty much just something along the lines of "your 20 years old you gotta live life, but if you still love him and think it will get better then keep trying because thats worth it if it makes you happy"
 
I was in the same situation with my current girlfriend, and I figure if she wasn't happy with her previous boyfriend than he was pry a dick...so I don't feel bad.
 
Yes but it sounds like the only reason the "boy" became friends with the "girl" is because he wanted her but then found out that she has a boyfriend so he just became friends with her while still keeping in the back of the "boy"s mind that he wants her........

I think it's a bull shit move on the "boy"s part, but keep in mind kids this is just my opinion...............
 
if boy is sincere in his intentions and plans on doing a much better job than now ex boyfriend, then i see nothing wrong
 
it sounded like you gave her legit advice. also sounds like your advice opened her eyes to whats up, yet her decision wasnt influenced by it. theres a fine line, but nah. long story short, you didnt do anything wrong
 
boy did not do anything wrong. he just helped out what would have happened eventually. not suprised BF is mad though
 
boy should move to russia to not get tracked down by old boyfriend who may believe new boyfriend hasted the breakup

but seriously, boy is clear if girl shuts up about it
 
I believe you said she was bitching about her boyfriend. If that is indeed the case, it was already going downhill. Youre a catalyst, not a cause. I think youre clear.
 
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