Embarrasing moments on the hill

J

Jaskittin

Active member
I dunno if this has been posted before but if it has, suck a dick. I was just thinking about one time last year where I completely embarrased myself right under the lift. It was my first time blazing while skiing, and we were hittin up a run in the park. We come to the easiest rail in the park, and my friend is like see who can steeze it the most. I go first, and not thinking much at all, but concentratin g on the steeze more than the rail, I turned about 45 degree on, and slowly spun parralel to the rail and nutted myself, with my hands above my head in spread eagle posistion. My friends all fell over laughing, and didn't stop for about 5 minutes. I got up about 5 minutes later with bruised balls and an even more bruised ego. Funny as hell though.
 
my friend (snowboarder) and i were skiing past/under a lift when i was trying to pass her it was kinda icy and hard to avoid hitting each other when she turned left and i did a speed check turning a lil' right, we crashed and she hit me in the face w. her helmet so my nose was gushing blood, we bent my ski pole upon both landing on it and when she tried to "fix it" by bending it back it just kinda snapped
 
once i got off lift too soon and diddnt get maximum speed off the chair, all the cool kids were laughing, boy was i embarased!
 
early last year at fortune i was trying to learn switch on to this really simple box.. My problem was that i kept forgetting to pop and my tips would just crash into it everytime..

whats funny about this? chrichton was waiting for his turnn..
 
thats sucks really bad....never bend it back rite at the kink adn never let a boarder mess with ski equipment
 
last year i was fucking around, doing like tail grabs on the chair, i was holding my grab as long as i could until we were about to get off. well i held it too long and one of my skis gets caught in the snow. its start getting dragged and the and my leg gets twist around a 180 degress so the tip of one ski was with the tail of the other. needless to say i fell off. they stopped the chair and about 60 random asians laughed at me. it was embarrassing
 
fucking a i was riding flatland once at dub v and it was orientation for ski school instructors so i'm on the bunny hill pop a 180 lose a ski and im skiing switch one footed butter out and hop back up and get my other was pretty funny
 
at the loaf last year i saw how all the racers there sat on their poles when riding up the lift.and i tryed that once by sticking them through the back.just as i got off they wouldnt move so i came down on them and smacked my balls and broke the poles
 
no i win.... i was dropping into the pipe at wachusett all steezy pro float-in style and somehow i caught an edge and fell headfirst into the bottom of the pipe. And the lift was right above so everyone saw me eat shit
 
i pulled this 360 under the lift and there was this bump after near the lift line, i went to do a little cross caught an edge and went down.
 
just 2 weekends ago I came out 1st day onto the hill and there was this really small table about 5-10 feet. My friends told me you had to go pretty fast so I went straight from the inrun and overshot the jump by a tonne. I also came off really backseat so I landed flat on my ass. The worst part was that the park was the only thing open and everyone on the hill saw me.
 
this story has good news and bad news. It was my first day at PC for the year and there sits ashley battersby, right next to the box im about to hit (skinny tall up-down box) and I go switch on thinking im all kool, then I slipped out and ate shit literally right in front of her. then after lunch yet again she was sitting right there and I did a switch, switch up over the kink to fakie and I landed perfactly so I redeamed that self asteam I had lost.
 
i was goin down the hill and there was a series of lil rolling bumbs...and i went to get a lil air on one (thought it would be fun) and rite wen i do it my tips dig in and i face plant...i looked like such a loser but it was really funny to my friends.
 
At the loaf there was a flat-gap-down box, and I was doing switchups, poorly timed, so at the end of the flat I was facing backwards, forgot to pop, cleared the gap, but hit both tails on the front of the down, double ejected, slid the down on my ass. Under the lift. With my friends. I got shit about that for the rest of the day, but I am still the best out of all of us, and I finally got it too.
 
In Fernie there was about 20 or so people sessioning the wallride, and it being the first time ever on a wall, I decided to giver and get the stall 180 off the top. Well stupid me forgot to speed check, and went flying right over the wall and rolled down the other side.

Oh, and handplants are not fun, so many bad moments trying them.
 
Atomicracer63 (a really stupid racer that goes to my school) managed to dig his tips in the snow while getting off an incredibly slow quad and faceplanted.

The second time I got off the bunny hill lift I got off, fell down, and sat back up. About then the chair that was behind me came and smaced me in the back of the head. Then the lift guy came out of his shack with a burger in one hand and asked if I was Ok. It was funny as hell.
 
One day when I was snowboarding I sat down on the lift and the lift dipped down real low; my board was sideways and it caught the toe edge, I got sucked right under the chair.

Last year at Killy my friend and I were cruising and he was infront of me and we were going really fast. Then he suddenly stops right infront of me, I tried my hardest to stop and not hit him, but the snow was choppy and my feet skipped up off the ground and I pretty much dropped kicked my buddy going really fast in the legs. I knocked his feet right out from underneath him and he went down so hard. I thought I broke his ankles but he got up just fine and was like, "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK." Good times.
 
yeah, once trying a switch up on a flat down I didn't get the whole 180 so I landed fakie on the box and slid down on my ass.
 
So i was in the pussy park just screwing around and im going up to the big flat box thats like 2 feet wide and level with the ground and i have nooo idea where my mind was at the time but i just sorta blanked out just before i hit it so i unknowingly slid it unnatural.....well that TOTALLY threw off my balance and i ate shit everywhere.

Another one was at the glacier this summer i was going up the t-bar on that really steep pitch after the first get-off point and i try to get off the t-bar like 20 feet up so i wouldnt have to push for speed....well i had my poles on and when i let go of the bar it caught and wedged inbetween my hand and my pole and the strap was holding it on and there was no way i could have gotten out of it so im being dragged up this pitch on my head while my arm was being ripped off.. best part was that there was this hot chick hiking up that part as well got a good laugh out of her on my way past...
 
yea, being high doesnt help your ish bro. i believe i did a hcuked out spina dn did a 450 to death off a table in whitler, after blazing above the terrain park.
 
It was safety week at our mountain a long time back when I was just a little mad bomber tyke. Anyways, I saw a really tall snowmound and decided to bomb down the trail to get to the top not realizing on the other side was a drop-to-death strait into a lift line full of people. Well I face planted, slid into the crowd, shedded my tears and skiied off... Oh yeah there was a drop there because they put a safety sign dug into the snowmound.
 
in new zealand filming i tried to start from far away and quickly come towards this c-box to get a cool looking skate style shot of my friend on it, i was so busy glancing back and forth from the angle of the camera body to him on the box that i slamed the fish eye on his GL1 into the end of the plastic on the box . no body saw it but i felt like the biggest fool.
 
At the Inferno rail jam at Mount Snow last yr...the people I was renting with for the winter (non-skiers) came to watch...they only saw the very end of the comp-only my last run where I did a HUGE disaster to switch out on the DFD rail and face planted into the icy landing...they were def scratching their heads over that one. They're like"so, WHY do you guys do this?" They were convinced that that was the extent of our sport...pretty funny. I won the female pro category tho. :^)
 
considering you hit up twister-twister it shouldnt be that bad of a ride with one pole.

my most embarrasing moment would be when my friends and i were messing around and "grinding" the little walls of ice and snow on the side of the trails from the snowcat, and someone was like watch out or your edges will dig in and you will faceplant, the next time i did it, i faceplanted and got laughed at. But it wasnt bad. everyone falls
 
my friend and i came a across a 6 some odd foot drop to flat, we decide to hit it. he goes first and ends up landing too far forward and popped outta both his skis, right under the lift, i go to hit it and do the exact same thing, also ending in a nosebleed.
 
ahahhah i always ski there. Under the quad at bromley theres that big cliff at the top, well i jumped off of it, landed in like 3 feet of flat powder and double ejected to face plant under the lift. everybody was like "OOOOOOOOOOOH." I felt cool.
 
One time I was skiing switch down a grommer on a somewhat crowded day. I was pretty tired, so I decided to just sit back and hope I didn't hit anybody. It went well for a while, then I hit this huge redneck with camo and orange hunting shit on. The redneck started yelling obcenties and shit for running into him, so I pretended I was deaf and skied away.
 
haha, i did that "clif" when i was younger, it remember scraping my tails the whole way down on the rock, a real clif at that mountain is the one at the end of little dipper, money
 
got on the lift, joking around, i grabbed the back of my ski, and the front tip dug into the ground and popped off..... i felt like one of those idiot tourists that hold up the lift all the time
 
i have yo all beet.ok so one day these snowboarders spent like all day hauling a box up the hill and they kinda set it up on a slope.. well at the end of the day i was kinda tired and not really paying attention and i tried to hop onto it. Well i didnt pop enough, my tips caught the front of the box and i fliped onto my stomach.. as if it couldnt get any worse the box came loose and started to slide down the hill with me on it. I kept on sliding down the box on my stomach, fell off infront and it pushed me for a while

then i fucking ran for my life becuase a mob of angry snowboarders were on my ass
 
I had a similiar thing happen on the other galcier t-bar. it took my backpack right off my back when it caught one of the straps
 
This is coming from a guy who masturbates to "Cold November Rain." GunsNRosesFuckinSuck is more like it, you racist. Your most embarrasing moment on the hill would be me putting my size 12 boot up your ass if I heard you say one thing about stoners or black people.
 
one i can remember is that a couple of years ago i was waiting to hit the biggest jump on the mtn which was about 50 ft and i had just gotten my new Armadas so everybody was jealous so i straight line it to the jump and i take off start spinning my goal was to do a loft 180 but i spun it to hard and like since my new skis were longer they like got tangled and i hit the knuckle and bounced like 2 feet high and then landed on my side

basically long story short, new skis, 180 over 50 foot jump, skis catch together, hit knuckle of jump, land get laughed at.
 
i was getting onto the main quad at the local hill near the end of the day and i was way tired so i didnt want to squat all the way down to reach the chair, so i just figutred i could let it scoop me up.

it didnt work. i got pushed into the little pit thingy after the load point and they had to stop the lift. felt like such a punter.
 
that was such a lame thing to say, and bragging about your boot size is even more lame. i dont think anyone has ever masturbated to a song before, and i can damn well hate niggers and stoners if i like. sooooooooooooooooooooo fag off and join the naacp.
 
last day of loon last year we were spinning laps through the park. we ski up to this flat down rail, which was pretty sketch. this kid drew says anyone gonna hit it... fuck it ill do it. hits the jump, doesnt spin at all and lands spread eagle on the kink. sits there for about a minute and slides down the rest of the rail on his nuts. funniest fucking thing ive seen on skis.
 
my most "Embarrasing moment on the hill" was a few yrs ago when i was bout 11 i had to piss so bad that i sat down on the side of the hill and left yellow snow... OMG
 
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