dumb jokes

what did i say to you?

shut up, asshat.

[/i][/b]stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

-Harvιε

(dfp represent)
 
whats the difference between a 20 year old person and a 50 year old person?

30 pounds

Gravity sucks

What's the difference between a drunk and stoner at a stop sign???

The drunk speeds through, the stoner waits for the sign to turn green.
 
Why are cows always happy?

Because everyday is a field day!

----2ond in Command of DANSA-----

To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

GW Award December 3, 2004
 
what do you call a lesbian with 2 girlfriends?

a bush hog

holy shit!!!111!1! he has more hten one namne??>?? omggg!! what a sux0rz@!! LOL

I heard that Line is putting dust from the moon in their skis to make them not as influenced by the gravity of the earth. Has anyone heard of this new technology?

'quebec is the mexico of canada'-ride_like_fire

'g-dogg is a d-bagg'-DAMICO
 
do you know anthing about real estate?

you give me 2 bricks and ill give you an acre.

(get it, an acher. smacked your dick in between the bricks)

holy shit!!!111!1! he has more hten one namne??>?? omggg!! what a sux0rz@!! LOL

I heard that Line is putting dust from the moon in their skis to make them not as influenced by the gravity of the earth. Has anyone heard of this new technology?

'quebec is the mexico of canada'-ride_like_fire

'g-dogg is a d-bagg'-DAMICO
 
^ i know. my dad comes up with these gay ass jokes (commonly referred to as 'jeff jokes') and i write them down on a little memo pad i keep laying around the house

holy shit!!!111!1! he has more hten one namne??>?? omggg!! what a sux0rz@!! LOL

I heard that Line is putting dust from the moon in their skis to make them not as influenced by the gravity of the earth. Has anyone heard of this new technology?

'quebec is the mexico of canada'-ride_like_fire

'g-dogg is a d-bagg'-DAMICO
 
Mine is funny actually, a good one all around.

50 Cent's mom gave him a sweater for Christmas this year. Do you know what he said?

Gee, you knit? (say it outloud or you won't get it)

Hahahahahaahahahahahaha.

- - AlpineSurfBum: gonna clean the fish tank again? - -

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
 
Right so at a news conference a news reporter asks the polotician if he had a small dick because his secratary told the press he did. and the polotician says no actually she just has a big mouth

 
whats the difference between a dead dog on the road, and a dead indian on the road?

the dog has skid marks in front of it.

machavok.com

 
^but that one's funny

what do you call 50 rabbits walking backwards

a receding hare line

why did captain hook cross the road

to get to the second hand store

why don't seaguls fly over the bay?

because then they'd be bagles.

*****
If it aint Gorilla, it aint Steeze

'and then he got bow wow and JDs number so were gonna go party with them this weekend' - ATLskier talk

Real life translation - 'and the he sucked off bow wow and JD for their number so were gonna go suck them off again this weekend' - 1080ryebread
 
why did michael jackson go to walmart?

he heard that they had the childrens clothes half off

what does michael jackson and pimples have in common?

they both cum on your face when your 12

*****
If it aint Gorilla, it aint Steeze

'and then he got bow wow and JDs number so were gonna go party with them this weekend' - ATLskier talk

Real life translation - 'and the he sucked off bow wow and JD for their number so were gonna go suck them off again this weekend' - 1080ryebread
 
Knock Knock

Whos there

Snowball

Snowball who?

Trashcan.

Say it outloud or else you wont get it

'Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that' - Ol' Drippy
 
chronic99. i don't get it either.

___________________

Are we clear or do we have to take this e-outside?

--Crystal-needs-a-park
 
what do micheal jackson, and macdonalds have incomon?

they both like to stick there meat between 5 year old buns.

its old, but i have a million of them

*$*Carney*$*

Brent likes to do his women like his boots, rear-entry. eh Chauncy
 
whats black and white and red all over?

a wounded nun on a rampage.

-Patty
Vis ton cassage et tais toi!

**Its NS... retards blend in. - J.D._May

**I need only to look outside to see the proof of God existing. - myself in response to asac saying he doesn't need Math to know God doesn't exist.

similarity does not equal relationship
 
What does snoop dogg use his umbrella for?

fo' drizzle

Ski. Eat. Sex. Sleep. Ski.
What else is there?

'never tryed tele, it just looks gay...' Jess-001 (Feschies, better watch your back)
 
I got that from someone, but forgot, so credit them

Ski. Eat. Sex. Sleep. Ski.
What else is there?

'never tryed tele, it just looks gay...' Jess-001 (Feschies, better watch your back)
 
a bear and a rabbit are are taking a dump in the woods, the bear says to the rabbit does shit stick to your fur?

the rabbit says yes, so the bear grabs him

________________________________________


I really wonder about the mental abilities of people who have nothing better to do than swear at a computer program...-gregg

 
^ what the fuck!?

*****
If it aint Gorilla, it aint Steeze

'i got a nigroplasti, im good at basketball but now i suck at skiing' - friday01
 
why was 6 afraid of 7?

because 7 8 9

pretend you will give the guy head to give back your skis, he probably will accept, then once he whipps his cock out, steal it-SteezePatro

if you want to be a real gangster wear your ski boots to the dance. when he starts shit when youre face to face do a backflip and in your rotation kick him in the face with your boot. something in his face will break for sure. fights over.-seanPISTOL

or just walk away with his chick making him look like a complete jackass in front of a bunch of s
 
hey I'm in your sig, awesome, but you spelt my name wrong...oh well

yo momma so fat..'insert anything' I hate those jokes

*****
If it aint Gorilla, it aint Steeze

'i got a nigroplasti, im good at basketball but now i suck at skiing' - friday01
 
Whats the difference between unloading bowling balls from the back of a truck and unloading dead babys?

You can't use a pitchfork on a bowling ball

SGB

 
^ haha thats great

whats blue and writhing on the floor?

a baby playing with a plastic bag!

whats the difference between michael jackson and a grocery bag?

ones white, made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with and the other is used to carry groceries!

-------------------------------------
What good are snowblades anyways???
'Well, you could wear them in the parking lot to protect your boots'-Veteran
 
so this hooker was chatting it up with another hooker one night, and said 'hey baby, i think it's gonna be a good night... i smell lots of cock in the air'. the other hooker responded 'no... i just burped.'

[/i][/b]stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

-Harvιε

(dfp represent)
 
hahahaha

thats golden

pretend you will give the guy head to give back your skis, he probably will accept, then once he whipps his cock out, steal it-SteezePatro

if you want to be a real gangster wear your ski boots to the dance. when he starts shit when youre face to face do a backflip and in your rotation kick him in the face with your boot. something in his face will break for sure. fights over.-seanPISTOL

or just walk away with his chick making him look like a complete jackass in front of a bunch of s
 
huh?

well here is 1 well actualy its more of a riddle

wat runs around a field but never moves

A FENCE

pretend you will give the guy head to give back your skis, he probably will accept, then once he whipps his cock out, steal it-SteezePatro

if you want to be a real gangster wear your ski boots to the dance. when he starts shit when youre face to face do a backflip and in your rotation kick him in the face with your boot. something in his face will break for sure. fights over.-seanPISTOL

or just walk away with his chick making him look like a complete jackass in front of a bunch of s
 
^ That reminds me...

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans holding hands around a house?

A spicket fence.

----2ond in Command of DANSA-----

*bowing in humble awe of your mistique*
-almostaskier

To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
 
what do you call a paki with a wooden leg?

- shit on a stick

what do you call a paki with two wooden legs?

-a waste of lumber

what's the difference between a paki and a bucket of shit?

-the bucket

[/i][/b]stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

-Harvιε

(dfp represent)
 
what do you call a black guy who is mute, has no arms and no legs?

TRUSTWORTHY!!

holy shit!!!111!1! he has more hten one namne??>?? omggg!! what a sux0rz@!! LOL

I heard that Line is putting dust from the moon in their skis to make them not as influenced by the gravity of the earth. Has anyone heard of this new techn
 
in a bush?

Bud

In a ditch?

Doug

-Patty
Vis ton cassage et tais toi!

**Its NS... retards blend in. - J.D._May

similarity does not equal relationship.
 
There are two statues placed on the end of this known bridge in Tampere ( a finnish city). One day a fairy flies by and notices the two, a statue of a man and a statue of a woman. The fairy thinks those two need a day off and enchants them so they come alive.

Later that day the fairy decides to have a look at what the statues are doing. She hears this awfull noise from a bush near the bridge. "They're doing It, of course!" she thinks, but still goes to have a look: One statue is holding a pidgeon while the other shits on the bird. HAHAHAHAHA

 
wanna hear a joke?

your face

____________
-Steve Stepp

'Yo these Niggas is tight yo. I roll like this shit next year. You see me, I come up, Peter Olenick, BITCH.'-Macburt(skidynastar180)
 
what do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A lickalottapuss

'Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that' - Ol' Drippy
 
In a bar, this french chick keeps raising her arm to ask for another drink. The bartender is sickened by the amount of hair under her arm. At one point the guy sitting next to the chick, who is just a little drunk, says to the bartender : "Bartender, give a drink to the ballerina from me". The french chick answers : "What are you talking about... I'm not a ballerina!" So then the drunk guy goes "Hey, any chick who can raise her leg THAT high..."

Perfectly fits in the 'dumb jokes' category. I don't know why I laughed a lot when I first heard it (well I know), but I'll never forget it.

*******************

'I'm the master of low expectations.'

'I understand small business growth. I was one'

-Dubya!

 
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