This is from year or so ago... I was writing to Dave (ductapeboy) but I ended up sending it to every other person on my contact list.. I think it's funny. (I don't drink very often, and when I do, I get drunk easily.)
'Hello.
I am slowly typing this e-mail. It is slightly hard because I am drunk. I wish for the e-mail to be readable though, so I am being very careful to find the right squares. I hope that you had a good night. My night was pleasant. I was at a band. It was not so very fun, so we went away from the band night, and we bought alcohol. After we bought the alcohol, we proceeded to find a private area where we could drink, because I am not of age to drink legally in the province of British Columbia in Canada. We decided to go to the park. There is never anyone there, but when we got there, there were about 50 cars. There were no people in the park, either. It was very weird. Weird like aliens. We went into the wooded area, and we took shots of Vodka. I had no need for chasers. Apparently, I am good at taking Vodka. After we took the Vodka, we went back to the bands. I danced. They most likely did not realize it. She lied on the car, and she rolled. I took pictures. Then, she hung off of the wires to the phone poll. I took pictures. After that, I had to go home, because I am not legally of age to drink alcohol in the province of British Columbia in Canada. The other people went to a club to drink and dance. She was really drunk. She made me laugh. Now I am home, all my myself. I have not much to do, so I wrote this e-mail to you. Hey! I rhymed. Wow. That is harshly crazy. Something is bad though. This letter has taken so long to write. The squares did not want to be found by the fingers. Please be cordial and write me a letter in return to this letter that I have written you. When did I drink so much?
Love, me.'
'Seduce my mind, and you can have my body. Find my soul, and I'm yours forever.'
