Dark humor jokes

what do you get when you cross a black guy and an octopus

One hell of a cotton picker
 
Bump

I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. 

 

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
 
What do you call a Muslim on a wooden leg?

Shit on a stick...

What do you call a Muslim on two wooden legs?

A waste of wood
 
13512082:DanielPlainview said:
whats the difference between jews and pizza?

pizza doesnt scream going into the oven

what do you call 3 niggers hanging in a barn?

used farm equipment

what do an apple and a nigger have in common?

they both look nice hanging from a tree

sorry for the hard Rs
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ohhhh ok this is bad
 
how many babies does it rake to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you can throw.

Whats the worst part about breaking up with a japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice.

Whats the difference between cancer and my cousin?

my uncle didn't beat cancer.

Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
 
ngl my sister and i’s texts when we were high asf bc our other sister just tried to kill herself with an overdose but survived are pretty bad

955581.png
 
How do you stop a baby crawling in a circle, nail it’s other foot to the ground.

**This post was edited on May 4th 2024 at 6:23:29pm
 
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87

Why are cigarettes good for the environment?

They kill people.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

"What's your name, son?" The principal asked his student.

The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir."

"Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked.

The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.

The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”

Man: “Am I dying?”

Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
 
I pretty sure the joke goes How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

none because the arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room because it’s black

13512229:Lskier_ said:
how many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

none, they'll just beat the room for being black
Click to expand...
 
What did the altar boy say to the catholic priest? Nothing his mother taught him good manners......don't talk with your mouth full.
 
14620205:Crazymarine said:
What did the altar boy say to the catholic priest? Nothing his mother taught him good manners......don't talk with your mouth full.
Click to expand...

Dude really thought it was a good idea to post this piece of shit as your first post.

**This post was edited on Jul 24th 2024 at 12:06:59am
 
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