Overall, I thought that was actually pretty good. There were a few things here and there that really affected the video as a whole though. The one thing that I thought that was pretty major was the length of the clips. If you could trim these down a bit it would give it a better vibe I feel. As well as what he said ^ with just having people be excited in the video. Doing sick stuff, making long putts, so on and so forth.
But I as well don't know a lot about commercials, but I really do feel you have a great start to it!