Not in college but my rooomate now is crushing it.
Highlights include, passing out in the fridge for a half hour plus, digging through garbage looking for his subway then touching everything else in the fridge and cupboards without washing his hands, trying to make dinner(heat up chicken and potato skins) failing after 3 hours to do anything but pour soap on his chicken and fall head first into the wall, totaled 2 cars in 2 weeks(the night of the second he put a cat in the trees, backed into a cat, rolled his car, fell off the tow truck), woke me up at 430 am because he thought I was going to be late for work(I explained to him how a clock worked, told him to fuck off and then he did it again an hour later), he came out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in my hand mumbling about this or that(last time I ever left my fucking toothbrush in the bathroom)I have to hide my cheese because he'll rifle through it with his garbage fingers even if he has cheese(yes the garbage thing is fairly common), he consistently loses anything and everything, then tears apart the whole place searching for it in the most unlikely places with a method that would make even bob marley incredibly anxious(once I told him to check his pants and backpack for something, he ignored me and kept searching the trash, the bowls, the silverware, the fridge, and 3 or 4 hours later found it in his pants), he'll pass out in bed with random food groups or soda, then bitch that the cleaning ladies didn't clean his bed enough(yes we're lucky enough that even after him being a total moron, they still clean our room once a week. Actually he bitched yesterday that they didn't clean it and the room was a mess, and I explained that they had cleaned it 1 day earlier and that he had just made the mess), unfortunately he got kicked out of the cat(not surprising) and got a job on guest services(very surprising, fuck they must have been desperate) so now we're both on day shit. With his lack of car, if I'm home he's home, I see him in the lift line at work, I want to pay some hooker to be his girlfriend just so he can go away for even a little bit.
Also he once told me about how much of a neat freak he is and that people say he's "the perfect roommate". All those pills you're eating might be helping you delude yourself broski.
I know I probably missed a lot of highlights but figured that was a good start. Also he was bitching that his parents were assholes because they wouldn't give him their credit card to rent a car(after he crashed 2 in 2 weeks). Bitching that his parents asked him to call his sister(who just had a baby) because they just don't understand how busy he is or something.
He's 35 btw. If he was 18-25 it wouldn't be that bad. If anybody want's to trade for the perfect roommate hit me up.