There's not really much to critique on the filming besides pointing out that it was shaky. I don't know if that's what you mean by making it sketchy, but I think it actually takes away from the video. You can still sense the hand held, run and gun nature of a film even with a glidecam. That smoothness would have added a lot to your video.
I like the concept and it was actually pretty neat to watch. The editing was interesting. I would make it shorter; since it's kind of abstract, its tough to hold attention well. I would cut out a lot of the stuff that isn't as important. I think that would really tighten up the video.
I don't know if you did this, but just for reference, you could have probably cut up that audio (the spoken word) to have him say exactly what you want. You don't have to put the whole thing in there (goes along with shortening the video I guess).
My biggest complaint is that it is a) on YouTube, and b) 360p? Are you kidding me? Fuck that SD shit you're shooting HD now, make the most of it!
I like the concept and I think if you improved just a couple things this video would be outstanding. Good luck and above all keep shooting and editing! Practice makes better!
Cheers,
Milos